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Government United States IT

Pentagon Has the Worst IT Helpdesk in the US Govt (theregister.com) 54

When it comes to US government employee satisfaction with IT services, one agency finds itself continually at the bottom of the heap: The rather crucial Department of Defense. From a report: Results from the General Services Administration's (GSA) Mission-Support Customer Satisfaction Survey published on Wednesday found the DoD was trailing the other 23 US federal government agencies included in the research. Of the seven technology user areas surveyed, the DoD came dead last in user satisfaction for IT support, equipment, function, and communication/collaboration.

The DoD didn't fare much better in the three areas it wasn't scraping the bottom, either. For strategic IT partnerships and development, modernizations and enhancement the Defense Department ranked twentieth (out of 24), and for operations and maintenance satisfaction it beat the US Department of Agriculture - barely - on the seven-point scale used by the GSA. Despite its abysmal ranking among its fellow federal agencies, the DoD's users were still generally okay with their IT service, with 65 percent of respondents saying they were at least somewhat satisfied with IT support, and 64.5 percent expressing some degree of satisfaction with their IT equipment. Only development, modernization and enhancement failed to net 50 percent satisfaction among DoD respondents.

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Pentagon Has the Worst IT Helpdesk in the US Govt

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  • Security? (Score:5, Interesting)

    by freeze128 ( 544774 ) on Monday September 04, 2023 @10:36PM (#63824004)
    Maybe it's due to security policies. If you have too many of them, the IT dept can't do their job effectively.
    • Oh so the DoD should be less secure?

      • The DOD can be rather myopic as to alternative options and the resulting costs. Meanwhile, time marches on.

        • by jhoegl ( 638955 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @08:40AM (#63824784)
          The most secure system is one that is turned off, that hasnt changed.

          To be one up from that, a network and system that is completely void of internet is the next best option.

          Anyone thinking anything else is fooling themselves.

          Especially knowing how dumb users can be, removing the internet is the only logical solution to heavily reducing intrusion and stolen data.

          Hell, DoD had a fool taking pictures of classified documents to "impress discord friends", of course it doesnt help Trump sold secrets to dictator and enemy nations.

          Point is, your information is only as secure as the idiot using it.
    • I did some contracting with a thing in that field (Sorry dont wanna clarify here) and this rings both true and necessary.

      Soldiers aren't hired be good at computers, they are hired to be good at shooting people. So theres a lot of guys in defence who wouldnt know which way to hold a mouse, particularly amongst the older guys who didnt grow up with internet everything.

      But by the very nature of defence computing, things are locked down incredibly tightly because without those locks you end up with wikileaks, o

      • Re:Security? (Score:5, Insightful)

        by geekmux ( 1040042 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @02:29AM (#63824268)

        I did some contracting with a thing in that field (Sorry dont wanna clarify here) and this rings both true and necessary.

        Soldiers aren't hired be good at computers, they are hired to be good at shooting people. So theres a lot of guys in defence who wouldnt know which way to hold a mouse, particularly amongst the older guys who didnt grow up with internet everything.

        First off, the infanty and special forces jobs in the Army, require you to be "good at shooting people". For the other 90 - 95% of the Armed Forces, it's slam full of people sitting behind desks driving computers and running shops not unlike small civilian companies would. Annual marksmanship plinking hardly makes one good at shooting people. Otherwise, snipers wouldn't have to pass psych evals.

        Wouldn't know which way to hold a mouse? The ones retiring from the fucking Army graduated high school in 2003, and were likely driving a mouse long before that. Like the rest of us. Bit of a stretch, even for an infantry grunt.

        Your assessment of even what the majority of people do in the military, is quite wrong. Not sure where you're getting that intel from.

        • It is a common misconception that many people who have never been in the military have had. Also, just as a refresher, the internet was invented (more or less) in about 1988 or so. So, MOST of the internet protocols around TODAY were invented 30 years ago. The idiotic joke that some people have about baby boomers not knowing how to open a .pdf... well, baby boomers invented the .pdf. Infantry (having been one, I can speak on it) are not 'hired based on ability to shoot people.' if they were they would all b
        • First off, the infanty and special forces jobs in the Army, require you to be "good at shooting people".

          My experience begs to differ. And yes, I was in about as much of a combat arms MOS as you get. Look up 19D. Marksmanship is only a small part of it.

          Also, EVERY MOS in the Army, combat arms or not, has a well-defined combat duty. For example, a trumpet player will serve as a PoW prison guard.

          Please stop talking authoritatively about topics you don't understand. You're worse than ChatGPT to be honest.

          • First off, the infanty and special forces jobs in the Army, require you to be "good at shooting people".

            My experience begs to differ. And yes, I was in about as much of a combat arms MOS as you get. Look up 19D. Marksmanship is only a small part of it.

            Also, EVERY MOS in the Army, combat arms or not, has a well-defined combat duty. For example, a trumpet player will serve as a PoW prison guard.

            Please stop talking authoritatively about topics you don't understand. You're worse than ChatGPT to be honest.

            Please stop assuming I also do not hold experience in the matter as well. We both know by mission statement the primary fighting force within the Armed Forces, is the Marines. Your experience is quite myopic as well (deployed with plenty of 19x's). Yes, we were/are all somewhat trained to be defenders in every branch, but most of those serving today picked up an assault weapon in basic training for the first time. They were not good at "shooting people" before then, nor will they ever get there punching

            • Please stop assuming I also do not hold experience in the matter as well. We both know by mission statement the primary fighting force within the Armed Forces, is the Marines.

              What comic book did you read that from?

              Your experience is quite myopic as well (deployed with plenty of 19x's).

              Doesn't seem likely...

              Yes, we were/are all somewhat trained to be defenders in every branch, but most of those serving today picked up an assault weapon in basic training for the first time.

              That's not even what I'm talking about. Do the words "adjust fire" mean anything to you? We (usually) don't engage in direct firefights willingly, because doing so needlessly puts you at a greatly elevated risk. When we do so, (usually) it's to lay down suppressive fire to either pin the enemy or disengage (or both.) I'll give you one guess as to what happens after that.

              The only infantry people I'd say whose job it is to be good at shooting people

              • Please stop assuming I also do not hold experience in the matter as well. We both know by mission statement the primary fighting force within the Armed Forces, is the Marines.

                What comic book did you read that from?

                I take it you haven't said that out loud around too many Marines in your life. I wouldn't recommend that. Marine basic training is quite unique down to the individual Marine. You are trained and expected to be a fighter first, and then you are trained in your specialty. Army does this to an extent as well, but not all branches teach every single person wearing a mil-spec cover hand-to-hand combat. This isn't exactly a mystery to you.

                The only infantry people I'd say whose job it is to be good at shooting people specifically are snipers.

                (Also you) "Soldiers aren't hired be good at computers, they are hired

                • I take it you haven't said that out loud around too many Marines in your life. I wouldn't recommend that. Marine basic training is quite unique down to the individual Marine. You are trained and expected to be a fighter first, and then you are trained in your specialty. Army does this to an extent as well, but not all branches teach every single person wearing a mil-spec cover hand-to-hand combat. This isn't exactly a mystery to you.

                  That's nice and all, but your earlier statement is just plain incorrect. The purpose of the USMC is, among other things, to provide combat services to the Navy and guard US embassies.

                  (Also you) "Soldiers aren't hired be good at computers, they are hired to be good at shooting people."

                  Your generic comment above is what initiated this conversation. And now you're contradicting yourself and validating my damn point.

                  My comments did no such thing. Do you have any idea why? I'll give you some time to look. When you find the answer to that, you'll also find out why everything else in your post is also incorrect.

                  Have a nice day.

        • Despite its abysmal ranking among its fellow federal agencies, the DoD's users were still generally okay with their IT service, with 65 percent of respondents saying they were at least somewhat satisfied with IT support, and 64.5 percent expressing some degree of satisfaction with their IT equipment.

          Soldier, did I hear you complaining about the crap IT support in this here army?

          Sir, no Sir!

          Very good, carry on.

      • by Teun ( 17872 )

        The difference is, we know why that inconvenience is there, GI Joe does not, and its not his job to know why its there.

        Which is exactly the security hole adversaries are looking for, people that now shit but still need to use computers.
        And be assured modern GI Joe does run networked computer systems.

        But what does this have to do with a failing IT support system?

    • It is also due to mission.

      Hey, we need some help with our server, weâ(TM)re in your command.

      Okay, where is it.

      It is at an undisclosed location I cannot tell you, you have no access, and you will have to hop through two other networks and a slow satellite link to get there.

      Shit.

    • Unfortunately, not.

      The AARO office believes DoD email is too insecure for case submissions.
       

    • Partly. Maybe even mostly. People don't like being told no and when you're using DOD assets, you're not going to be able to have all the stuff you're used to having, nor will you have access to equipment that only you use.

      The acquisition and authorization processes are also obscene and a large contributor to dissatisfaction, even causing a senior USAF official to quit in disgust. [theregister.com] Combine that with the low pay of both military and civilian tech professionals, and you'll get results like this. This won't cha

  • And military (Score:5, Interesting)

    by buss_error ( 142273 ) on Monday September 04, 2023 @11:25PM (#63824062) Homepage Journal

    I had to call (on the wired phone) an Air Force base once to politely ask the airman that answered the IT departmental phone to stop an 700Mb attack from his network to mine.

    I had to step him through how to use netstat, traceroute, and how to drop packets on a Cisco PIX, then point him to docs on other matters.
    Mind you, he had zero idea who I was, yet followed my suggestions. My last bit of advice to him was "Don't run commands from random strangers!"

    And yes, I am leaving out a lot of details.

    • The military does a lot of OJT. Many in the military are poor people or from troubled backgrounds and use it as an escape of their circumstances, so they're not necessarily hired for a particular MOS based on background or talent. Peter principle in action.
      • Many in the military are poor people or from troubled backgrounds and use it as an escape of their circumstances,

        A few years after this, another person from the AF joined the same employer as above in an IT role. His backstory involved some fairly un-nice things, including parents that were stone cold stupid (I had to deal with them over the phone more than once), but the dude was a rock star. Knew his stuff and was ever learning even more, plus being a great mentor.
        After a few years, he left that employer and now manages a huge IT infrastructure. Very proud to have worked with him. My only objection is that he liked

  • > Despite its abysmal ranking among its fellow federal agencies, the DoD's users were still generally okay with their IT service

    Maybe it's because the IT equipment is designed to work reliably 'in the field', so that calls for help are few and far between?

    • Maybe it's because the IT equipment is designed to work reliably 'in the field', so that calls for help are few and far between?

      (Everyone in the Field) "Uh, no."

      One would have to narrow the definition of 'reliably' here...can the 120-pound TEMPEST server wrapped in 50 pounds of lead shielding be reliably pushed off a forklift from a MIL-SPEC drop height of 6 feet, and only break every fifth time? Yup bet. Field reliability at it's finest. The system is 'secure'.

  • by ToasterMonkey ( 467067 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @12:20AM (#63824116) Homepage

    I wouldn't nitpick the use of Pentagon other than the fact that the story is already confusing because the DoD isn't one thing, each service handles its own stuff. Maybe the actual report gets into the specifics, or maybe it doesn't, but lumping Army IT support with Air Force IT support makes no sense, for example. Which one of them all is dragging down the numbers?

    So there's that, then referring to the DoD as the Pentagon on top of it is doubly wrong. It's the one building where they all have a presence. So in a physical sense, the Pentagon definitely doesn't have just one IT help desk, because everyone and their mother has their own, literally in the same building. And THOSE help desks are probably fine, the problem might be with a specific branch, at all bases other than their well staffed Pentagon office, for example.

    • The suckiness of IT support across the services is also nontransitive, each one's IT is worse than the others. There's probably a mathematics PhD in there somewhere...
  • by Wolfling1 ( 1808594 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @01:10AM (#63824166) Journal
    Hello Mr President, Welcome to your NORAD launch terminal

    Keyboard fault detected - press F1 to continue
  • Welcome to the Pentagon. Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line to listen to the following menu (to get the Spanish menu instructions spoken here) If you know about a war breaking out press 1 If your neighbor is acting suspicious press 2 If your neighbor's dog is acting suspicious press 3 If you think someone's missing press 4 If you have info about a terrorist attack about to happen, press 5 For all other options press 6
  • by nospam007 ( 722110 ) * on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @02:58AM (#63824296)

    Helpdesk?

    Hi, we're in an undisclosed South-American country to assassinate their president and our Autogun doesn't boot, what should we do?

    • by Anonymous Coward

      Helpdesk checklist:
        - Did you try turning off and on again?
        - Move the safety from off to on 5 times in 30 seconds. You will know it is working when the red light flashes 3 times in 1 second intervals and 5 times at 3 second intervals.
        - Remove all rounds from the autogun and hold the trigger in for 30 seconds, then release the trigger and do not pull it again for 60 seconds. Repeat 3 times. Make sure the timing is exactly right or you need to start over again.

  • by martin-boundary ( 547041 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @03:46AM (#63824322)
    Before the Pentagon's IT department can help you with your PC problem, they first need to establish what you know. That means splitting into what you think you know and what you know you know. Then they'll ask you what you know you don't know. And what you don't know that you actually know. Finally, they will try to figure out what you don't know that you don't know. If all goes well they'll come invade your personal space to fix all your problems.
  • If I were the Pentagon IT Help Desk I would be careful about annoying my customer that can rain down destruction in so many forms.
  • The irony is not lost on me. Also, have you seen that VetTV grunt as a technician video? True story.
  • They have the same Policies and support is provided by the same contract service providers as the rest of the DOD. The difference is the user. At the Pentagon the population is very heavily slanted towards senior officials, the guys who like to set rules but not follow them and who are not afraid to voice complaints.

  • 'Effective immediately all DoD employees and contractors are required to answer "Fully satisfied" on all IT Helpdesk Surveys.'

  • The DoD Help Desk is just a fronting organization for many other help desks that have intersecting responsibilities. For instance there are many places and many orgs that can be responsible for network issues. Multiple layers of firewalls, etc. The DoD Help Desk deals with the basic "Did you try rebooting?" types of issues and then they pass tickets on to another organization based on their limited understanding and the user's even more limited understanding of the problem. Too often the ticket goes to
  • by smithcl8 ( 738234 ) on Tuesday September 05, 2023 @09:49AM (#63824980)
    Having worked > 20 years now in IT, I have seen the same pattern in employee promotion the whole time. People start working on the helpdesk and get paid an entry-level wage. They learn on the job and find somewhere else in the org to go, because being on a helpdesk or even doing deskside work is hard. They move up to easier jobs that have a more important-sounding title and are paid better. That's not how it should be. The hardest job I've had in tech is that helpdesk/deskside support job. Constantly changing questions, constantly failing software and hardware for umpteen reasons, and the end user is always there pissed off. It should be paid more than a cushy "server job" to keep people doing it. You end up with entry people doing that work forever, and many have no skills yet. I picture a Private on the helpdesk, fixing a Captain's email app, all while war is going on around them.
  • Who have the *worst* job website in the world.

    I argued with them, about 10 years ago - the jobs DO NOT SPECIFY the job requirements. They said "we don't want to keep people from applying".

    Applying? When they don't know what the job is, other than the title? *Some* of the time, you can guess, if they have "sample questions". Otherwise, Linux? Windows? Mac? Application? DBA? Who the fuck knows?

  • They're about to IPO on the worst customer service/support I've ever encountered in a paid service.

    I say this as someone who has waited 90+ minutes to get a password reset for a US treasury account - when someone finally answered the phone they were quick, polite and efficient.

    Instacart is an endless script loop with 0 people escalating or even attempting to resolve anything. I could write a fucking novel about the Orwellian dystopia they have created but I think you get the point.

    TL;DR version is they cha

  • Here's the thing. The secure networks are monitored like mad. Idiots on secure networks surf for porn on said networks that they know are monitored. These people, some with ultra-specialized secret knowledge in niche areas, then get the perp walk by security and lose their careers. Because they had to surf for porn *at work!*

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

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