Got Malware? The FBI Wants It 93
wiredmikey writes "The FBI has placed malware on its shopping list, and is turning to third parties to help the agency build a massive library of malicious software. According to a 'Request for a Quote' posted on the Federal Business Opportunities website, the FBI is looking for price quotes for malware for the Investigative Analysis Unit of the agency's Operational Technology Division (OTD). The unit's mission is to 'Provide technical analysis of digital methods, software and data, and provide technical support to FBI investigations and intelligence operations that involve computers, networks and malicious software,' according to the document. The FBI did not say precisely how the malware will be used, but the document calls the collection of malware from law enforcement and research sources "critical to the success of the IAU's mission to obtain global awareness of malware threat.""
Buck Feta (Score:5, Insightful)
WHY Beta? (Score:4, Insightful)
I mean - maybe the PHBs with access to the stats might know better, but this always struck me as a fairly stable site. Internet newcomers tend to gravitate towards Reddit, and the old folks who hate change have remained with /.
Who is Beta for? The old folks don't want it, and you can't seriously expect to draw new users with a site that looks like every other Web2.0 site out there. Is it just a transparent ploy to increase advertising space?
Seriously - WHY?!
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Seriously - WHY?!
I don't know. I still think a naked petrified Natalie looks better on classic, even when covered in hot grits.
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OOG THE CAVEMAN not post much any more. OOG THE CAVEMAN is very sad since caps filter. But OOG THE CAVEMAN still remembers the good days, and beta makes OOG THE CAVEMAN cry.
Netcraft confirms it: Slashdot Alpha is dying.
Ok, FBI wants malware (Score:2)
Who is going to be the first to send them a copy of Windows?
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Seriously - WHY?!
In Soviet SlashDot, Beta tests YOU!
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I, for one, welcome our new unreadable "news" site overlords... wait, fuck that!
Funny you say that (Score:1)
When I see the beta page loading, I close it before it even has a chance. I like slashdot and have been a reader since it was called "chips and dips", but I think I have finally found a reason to leave.
Does the Beta count as malware? (Score:5, Funny)
The FBI wants some of the worst, most vile, malicious, terrible crap on the internet.
Yet even they don't want Slashdot Beta.
Re:Does the Beta count as malware? (Score:4, Insightful)
Slashdot Beta actually is malware from the GCHQ [slashdot.org].
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Even GCHQ isn't that sadistic.
But how would they know? (Score:2)
Certainly they are not masochistic enough to have tried using it.
I mean... come on. They're FBI. Not retards.
Slashdot Beta = Windows Shitsta! (Score:5, Interesting)
I have been reading Slashdot since 1997 or thereabouts. Every single day after 1998; of that I am sure. Even when I went out on vacation; when I got married; when I was convalescing after angioplasty- when I returned to work; I would read every single article; and if interested; the comments as well.
Some days back, I stumbled onto Slashdot Beta; I felt it sucked, so I came back to the old design. Today when I open any article; the only comments I find are those complaining about Beta. I use Opera for the past 14 years; so I couldn't understand why many readers found it difficult to just get back to Classic.
Then I started Firefox and opened Slashdot in that. I just couldn't believe the shit I was seeing. The main storythere was about the New Zealand Spy Agency. I carefully looked for 3 more recent stories; and couldnt find them at all. The reason was simple: the top 3 stories were disguised as ads; bcos that's how ads look in the regular site.
Then I clicked on those stories and tried to comment. Firefox went into a never-ending loop; I waited for 7 minutes, and killed the browser. I gave up on the beta.
-------------------
The reasons I visit Slashdot are:
1% - to look at the ads; and click on them
5% - to read the stories
3% - to read the linked artices
the rest - to read tons of Insightful comments from fellow Slashdotters
--------------------
But in the Beta; I couldn't even get to the Comments section on my 6-yr old Compaq laptop after 10 minutes. So I went back to Opera and Classic Slashdot. Already the Snowden article had comments cursing Beta. So I prepared this post in Notepad.
From now on, I will try for First Post with this one; in every new article.
Slashdotters I admire very much; and we are very successful people as a rule; minus of course the paid shills. I am sure I will keep this up and burn my karma until everyone else including those not fortunate enough to be using Opera; also stop complaining; and Beta goes away. Like Vista Shitsta; Millennium and Microsoft Bob.
Cheers.
Re:Slashdot Beta = Windows Shitsta! (Score:5, Insightful)
I fully agree with you. I have been a member of /. since at least 1998. Hard to believe I was here for almost the entire life cycle of Slashdot. If they push through Beta like they seem intent on doing then all I have to say is, "Slashdot is dead. Long live Slashdot!"
I don't know who this new site is for but it was not designed for the community that made /. successful in the first place. It is too bad because it was always interesting to read the musings of influential people in the tech community who posted here. It looks like I will likely have to find a new place to lurk... tech news aggregation sites are a dime a dozen but none were quite like Slashdot. Oh well all good things must come to an end.
#fuckbeta
Re:Slashdot Beta = Windows Shitsta! (Score:4, Insightful)
If they push through Beta like they seem intent on doing then all I have to say is, "Slashdot is dead. Long live Slashdot!"
That phrase - I do not think it means what you think it means - and what is Slashdot if not a home for mindless pedantry?
I think the phrase you were looking for is Slashdot is dead. Fuck Slashdot!
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+1 for pedantry... I stand corrected! ;)
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Hey, a number lower than mine!
If Beta is forced on me as the default and I can't turn it off permanently, I'll be saying goodbye, too.
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Bah, we've all been reading /. about the same amount of time - but there was no real reason to get an account before the mod system.
I have to agree - one way or another, I won't be using beta.
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I've been part of Slashdot for a little longer than that. I for one can't wait for Slashdot Beta to go live this month! I'll save so much time in my day by not going to Slashdot anymore.
Beta is unusable. Once Beta goes live, I quit. I'm moving on.
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Keep spamming the feedback email, every time something pisses you off send another email. It's someone's terrible job to read all those emails, lets piss him off until he pisses his boss off and so on.
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Simply put, the new site is designed to put an end to this. Have you ever seen a comment on YouTube that is as long as you've posted? Not many? You know why? Because they give you an itty bitty box for you to put itty bitty thoughts in, and that's how their most insightful posts are variations on "how is babby formed"
With the tiny (seriously, I can put about 4 words in before it wraps and it's only 4 or 5 lines tall) box on the beta si
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Simply put, the new site is designed to put an end to this. Have you ever seen a comment on YouTube that is as long as you've posted? Not many? ...
Perhaps because many (younger?) people these days have the attention span of a dog at a squirrel farm. Which, I guess, is good for glancing through ads designed for [insert profitable demographic], but not anything more serious.
I have only tried beta a few times (not logged in and in Private mode) and found the overabundance of white space, especially on the article pages, most egregious and wasteful as it horizontally compresses the comments so as to be difficult to read. I also generally agree with ost
Why the FBI wants malware.. (Score:2)
Beta Sucks. (Score:4, Informative)
Got beta? (Score:2)
The slashdot community doesn't want it.
Slashdot Beta is kind of a malware (Score:2, Informative)
Do as I say... (Score:2)
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You would think the FBI would be well beyond using Skiddie exploits though.
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You do realize that packaged-and-deployed malware is typically not modifiable, right? Like, the entire malware business depends on the fact that you cant just find someone else's malware in the wild and repurpose it. You have to buy the kit fresh if you want to use it.
Almost certainly this is some kind of forensics effort, and / or an effort to build better detection.
Boycott (Score:4, Informative)
Please post this to new articles if it hasn't been posted yet.
On February 5, 2014, Slashdot announced through a javascript popup that they are starting to "move in to" the new Slashdot Beta design.
Slashdot Beta is a trend-following attempt to give Slashdot a fresh look, an approach that has led to less space for text and an abandonment of the traditional Slashdot look. Much worse than that, Slashdot Beta fundamentally breaks the classic Slashdot discussion and moderation system.
If you haven't seen Slashdot Beta already, open this [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] in a new tab. After seeing that, click here [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] to return to classic Slashdot.
We should boycott stories and only discuss the abomination that is Slashdot Beta until Dice abandons the project.
We should boycott slashdot entirely during the week of Feb 10 to Feb 17 as part of the wider slashcott [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
Moderators - only spend mod points on comments that discuss Beta
Commentors - only discuss Beta
http://slashdot.org/recent [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org] - Vote up the Fuck Beta stories
Keep this up for a few days and we may finally get the PHBs attention.
Captcha: fuckbeta
http://developers.slashdot.org... [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
http://developers.slashdot.org... [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
http://yro.slashdot.org/commen... [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
http://science.slashdot.org/co... [slashdot.org] [slashdot.org]
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Beta looks like complete ass.
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Beta makes "complete homemade ass" look awesome in comparison.
There is no pork chop big enough, juicy enough, or tasty enough to tie around this ugly kid's neck to make the dogs play with him.
Beta would be better off with a 9mm hole in the back of the head and a shallow grave.
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I clicked the link, but it is only a picture that is not uglier than slashdot beta.
dice.com is not the arbiter of elegance. (Score:2)
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Indeed, it was time to change my signature to that effect. To show my support for classic, I chose the classic phrasing.
I for one... (Score:5, Funny)
No beta, thanks (Score:1)
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Lets just trust that the Feds would never abuse our help. That this isn't an effort on their part to examine malware in order to build better malware, or an effort to see what malware that we are able to detect to better help them build malware that we can't detect. After all, have they ever abused our trust in the past?
I already sent them mine. Heck, it's already on a good 2/3rds of their computers. How much more do they want, anyways?
And Agent Robinson, get your feet off of your desk and get to work, slacker!
Strat
Bye slashdot, it was nice knowin ya (Score:1, Insightful)
So far, I'm thinking kuro5hin.org [kuro5hin.org] is the best hope out there. Most of the other tech news sites just don't have a clue about how to manage comments, a bit like the Slashdot Beta.
I've been reading slashdot since the 90s, but this really is the end. Apart from the godawful beta, we've also had the attempt to convert the stories into slashvertisements en masse, and the Slashdot Polls are really starting to look like Facebook covert demographics research for the Dice marketing dept.
Taco and Hemos were really
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kuro5shin is a festering, infected boil on the face of the Internet.
A little bit like the FBI malware program. That OpenBSD CD sure looks good now... Until we learn the Canadian CSEC ( Communications Security Establishment Canada) has also infected it...
And what is the big deal with /. beta? Please note that this not Flame Bait - from my little perch it does not look too bad - simpler modernist design and all that.
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You mean other than the fact that it doesn't work?
No, it doesn't 'look bad' - it looks like every other 'modern' web site with non sequitur images and 2 paragraph long topics. But you can't USE it. I'm not going to repeat the specific complaints, just look above and below. It's amply documented.
It is an attempt to dumbify the site, and His Noodliness knows we don't need that.
Idiocracy was NOT supposed to be an instructional video.
Slashdot Beta plan (Score:1)
Do you think Dice.com is purposely forcing Slashdot Beta on us in order to generate more comments? It may piss off the whole user base, but it will temporarily boost the websites value to advertisers and then the executives can all quickly cash out of the company.
Slashdot Users - Practical Advice[beta] (Score:5, Informative)
For the time being you can do this: www.slashdot.org?nobeta=1
Make you voice heard here:
http://beta.slashdot.org/fireh... [slashdot.org]
To quote Steve Jobs (rip) - "..and one more thing.."
"..FUCK BETA..."
Fresh leak (Score:5, Funny)
The FBI's top 10 malware packages in full:
10. Conficker
9. Zeus
8. Melissa
7. LOVEYOU
6. Ask toolbar
5. Windows 8
4. Stoned
3. Stuxnet
2. Cryptolocker
1. Slashdot Beta
Say what you will about Slashdot Beta (Score:1)
New Coke (Score:1)
Remember that time when Google went with a whole new opening page that added all sorts of stuff no one uses?
What about when Drudge Report decided to abandon their highly successful stripped down site for an MSN style just because they wanted to?
Or when McDonalds decided to start making the big mac with gouda and a pretzel bun?
For the love of all things nerdy, stop screwing with things! It not your interface that's causing a drop in traffic, it's your content. So what do you do? You change the interface
Ask the NSA ... (Score:2)
they have all you need! for free.
Re:Ask the NSA ... (Score:4, Insightful)
On a serious note: Isn't this supposed to be a part of the NSA's charter? Encryption, information security, etc. What did they do with the last fuckton of money we gave them?
Earth to Slashdot: (Score:5, Insightful)
Everyone hates the new site. Figure it out or you will die.
Jailbreaks and homebrew (Score:2)
You don't have to look for malware (Score:3)
You don't have to ask for malware. Just go to your relatives and look on their computers.
(Failing that, just surf around the web and anytime a website asks you to install something, do it.)
Refreshing (Score:1)
This is a refreshing change. We no longer have top to bottom posts extolling Edward Snowden's leaks.
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Oh this figures.
Fuck Beta, Fork Alpha.Time to resurrect slashcode? (Score:3)
http://sourceforge.net/projects/slashcode/ [sourceforge.net]
food for thought: http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?SlashDot [c2.com]
How to Save Money (Score:3)
Enjoy.
I have some REAL malware to give them (Score:2)
The only malware I have to give the FBI is a pair of my dirty underwear which I've worn for about three or four days without showering while hiking in the desert in the summer time with a bad case of hemorrhoids. However, the Slashdot BETA would be a good second choice. It stinks almost as much as my dirty underwear.
For several reasons . . . . (Score:1)
Spoiled brats... (Score:1)
Malware; it's not just for your average spoiled brat 10 year old nuisance kid anymore, it's peaked the interest in your local FBI agents that also seem to share the spoiled brat quality. So what does a library of malware have to do with national security? The interesting part of this would be the FBI picking and using the malware title against a target of an investigation that virus scanning engines are not focused upon at a given time, pretty sure they could socially engineer that part just like the NSA
Has the FBI tried Frys Electronics? (Score:2)
I protest! BETA sucks! (Score:2)
I've emailed them... they ignore... the more they ignore the quicker their downfall.
Ignore your userbase, and you shall have none. If I am ignored much longer, I will leave. Just like I left mashable after their AOL'ed it.
PS. I've been a slashdotter for 7+ years.
Beta is poor (Score:1)
I am hoping that if I'm ever going to be modded +5, Insightful it will be for this:
The new beta is poor at best and I hope that it is put down sooner than later.