Worst Terms of Service Ever 401
The legal birdseed here (appropriately and manically illustrated in the manner of The Secret Guide to Computers) makes the copy on Dr. Bronner's Soap look sane; the user agreement ("Click on any link or image to indicate "I ACCEPT" the USER Agreement.") begins with a little blurb about why it's necessary, and asks you not to be put off by the legalese. That might seem disingenuous at first, but buried in the text is this note, too: "[Yes, we know that you think that all this legalese is completely ridiculous, and we think so too, but we also believe that current law unfortunately requires that it be done this way; So if you know of a better, simpler 'legally correct' way, do tell us how!]"
(Besides this amusing legal stuff, the site is actually very interesting, at least if you enjoy U.S. history and trains.)
Hold up (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hold up (Score:4, Funny)
i just say 'tab, tab, tab, tab, space' into my voice recognition software and viola!
Re:Hold up (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Insightful)
not so. she's an agent to whom you have given actual authority. you--as the principal--are therefore responsible for any contracts that she enters on your behalf by clicking "accept."
i know the parent was just joking, but it's amazing how many people think that getting around a contract is just that simple.
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
"In the news, the Central Pacific Railroad Photographic History Museum is sueing God for a breach of contract."
Re:Hold up (Score:4, Funny)
No. God is my co-pilot.
alrighty then (Score:4, Funny)
Ok, then I have my cat walk on the keyboard. My cat is definitely not a citizen, and I'm pretty sure he's under 18 (at least he LOOKS under 18), and he's never been to law school so I'm willing to bet he couldn't be formally have authority as principal conferred on him in a way that I couldn't somehow contest. Of course if the cat decides to roll over and testify against me it could get ugly. I'd probably give him a good spraying with the hose.
Re:Hold up (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hold up (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe, but my Atari400 with that membrane keyboard finaly has one good point: it doesn't click. (of course I had to void my warrintee by disconnecting the speaker to get it to stop clicking, but now there is now noise. I suppose the 90 days for a computer manufactured in 1981 is long gone though)
Now I just need to hook it up to the web... Doable, but many web pages are more bigger than my ram.
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
Oh man, just POKE 65, 0
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hold up (Score:3, Funny)
If you add on line 3,567 in comments.pl the following line:
Then you'll have it!
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
And what do you call that language? "Cuss"? "Programming With Expletives"?
Oh, wait. That's perl.
stupid terms of service and the court (Score:5, Interesting)
Call it stupid, moronic, but according to these so called terms of service agreements, if someone did click on the link, in theory I should be able to track down users via their ISP's and stake my claim.
Oh well... back to real news "Priests need love too [perfidious.org]"
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:5, Informative)
Terms of service bind you in a contract with a company or individual. These terms, while defined by the company, need to be within reasonable limits and with a justification. For instnace, if you bail out of a cell phone contract early, it is reasonable that they charge you $200 for what you would have brought in over the next 2 years of your contract.
Also, and i may have seen this from watching too much Judge Judy, but because something is in a contract does not mean it is binding. For the obvious example, if someone had a contract that required an illegal activity (like human slavery or prostitution) that contractual agreement is non-binding. However, i am unclear if the entire contract becomes null and void; I believe soley that clause or agreement is voided.
As someone who hardly issues T.O.S. for client's websites, does anyone have a suggestion on a good medium point for T.O.S's?
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:2, Interesting)
"If any portion of this contract is deemed to be legally inavalid, only that portion shall not be enforced. I agree to be bound by the remaining terms of this rental agreement."
LK
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:2)
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:3, Informative)
Re:stupid terms of service and the court (Score:3, Funny)
Damnit - lucky for me the chains won't let her get to the computer to read Slashdot...
Re:Your Soul (Score:3, Funny)
don't you have to sign that to enrole at most universities?
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Interesting)
The issue here is whether this is contract of adhesion. Are the terms usual? Is it likely that the user actually agreed to them? Is there a consideration?
I don't think so.
Re:Hold up (Score:5, Funny)
Sorry
Re:Hold up (Score:2)
http://cprr.org/Museum/legal.html#permissions
Which means many slashdotters will now have to go and get out parents/guardians to watch the site
Re:Hold up (Score:3, Informative)
It won't hold up in court. Liquidated damages are supposed to be an approximation of actual damages incurred. If they're not, then they amount to an illegal penalty, which courts do not enforce. Here, neither the $5M nor $250/phone call is an approximation of their actual cost. As a result, those "liquidated damages" would be tossed out.
Along that lines, if you cancel your cell phone contract 2 days before it expires,
Oh, The Temptation (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Oh, The Temptation (Score:5, Funny)
Want to call? Call collect from a pay phone. Now that would be fun...
:)
Re:Oh, The Temptation (Score:5, Funny)
Call up SCO, and tell them "I want to tip you off that there is a large number of unlicensed SCO/Linux boxes at the Central Pacific Railroad Photographic History Museum. Call (phone #), and ask them for licenses - in fact call them repeatedly, they may pretend to not know what you're talking about."
Hilarity ensues.
Re:Oh, The Temptation (Score:2, Informative)
Hrmmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Hrmmm... (Score:2)
What, you mean the one where they give you free souvenirs then sue you for stealing? Or perhaps the one with all the exhibits they say are there, and that any idiot can see, but when you go it is just an empty room?
COLLECT (Score:2, Funny)
My Favorite: (Score:4, Funny)
Fortunately I didn't violate this part as I use lynx
for all www browsing. Others who use MSIE, Netscape/Mozilla,
Opera, ICab, etc. can't say the same though.
Re:My Favorite: (Score:2)
Just click 'g' before going to the website, and no pictures will be downloaded at all.
Of course, this kinda ruins the who idea of a photography site, but hey - maybe they have cool ASCII-art trains.
From the very bottom of the TOS (Score:2, Interesting)
They may as well (Score:3, Interesting)
These are worse (Score:2)
TOS [illegal-art.org] (popup on main page [illegal-art.org] but I know lots of people block popups)
Re:These are worse (Score:2)
But... (Score:4, Funny)
...
So if you know of a better, simpler 'legally correct' way, do tell us how!"
So I'm going to have to pay $250 to try to help them?
Re:But... (Score:2, Funny)
I wonder if I could place this note next to my name in the phone book.
Go ahead and violate the terms of my EULA you telemarketing bastards!
Oh shit... (Score:3, Funny)
Can anyone recomend a good lawyer?
That TOS is WEAK! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:That TOS is WEAK! (Score:2)
Re:That TOS is WEAK! (Score:5, Informative)
Re:That TOS is WEAK! (Score:4, Informative)
We're on Popageorgio dime, now.
Re:That TOS is WEAK! (Score:4, Informative)
Reporting Errors (Score:5, Funny)
Should I tell them about the TOS?
Too much time on their hands (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:5, Interesting)
If you read the "ORIGINALITY" section they claim it requires artistic and original skills to scan the images and save them as JPEGs; not only that, but in the process, an original piece of art is created (a requirement for copyright). Therefore, even though the original images are 19th century and public domain, they are holding copyright on their scans. By agreeing to their TOS, you agree that that's the case.
I don't see how scanning public domain pictures calling them your own qualifies as an original work. It qualifies for extortion though:
- get hold of a rare public domain document/picture/book/etc.
- scan it and save scans as JPEGs/PDFs/whatever;
- lock the original public domain work in a safe;
- you've got a brand new never-expiring copyright and you didn't even have to produce anything!
- sell the art and PROFIT!!!
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:5, Insightful)
And in a hundred years there will be a Web site (or whatever passes for Web sites in the next century) dedicated to the rise and fall of the American Empire. Exhibit A will be that TOS agreement, exemplifying the self-inflicted legal quagmire that brought America to its' knees.
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:3, Insightful)
America isn't a particularly imperialist
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:5, Insightful)
Ever buy a print at the store? A reproduction of a work is a copyrightable work in of itself.
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:5, Insightful)
No, it's not, not in the US. BRIDGEMAN ART LIBRARY, LTD. v. COREL CORP says that a reproduction of a work does not get a new copyright, because copyright is given for creative works, and reproduction, especially an accurate one, isn't creative; it's merely a reproduction.
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:3, Informative)
The parent poster is either trying to be clever, or not paying attention to the thread. We're talking about making copies of works that are in the public domain already. In Bridgeman v. Corel [panix.com], the key question was whether or not digital duplicates of classic paintings were copyrightable. The court held that they were not, because
Re:Too much time on their hands (Score:3, Informative)
No; you don't get a new copyright on it for copying it. The old copyright is still in effect.
don't visit! scary! (Score:5, Interesting)
thinking of putting stuff like that on my own web site
50,000 words long and at the end say "or you may simply ignore the above and
choose the following Creative Commons license instead". The fact that it's all
old public-domain stuff, hilarious!
But looking around I began to wonder.. is it a joke or not? I'm not seeing any
punch-line.. Maybe this guy is *serious*.. but how can you take it seriously,
it defies logic. It's already illegal to make unauthorized copies, so what's
the point? And he admits that it is ridiculous.. should I agree to anything
"ridiculuous"? Would it stand up in court?
If he seriously can't come up with a shorter agreement (hint: nothing gives
visitors the right to copy stuff that isn't PD, so you don't have to do *ANYTHING*).
Then I read his replies, and I'm starting to realize, this isn't funny like
the
Don't visit this site, this guy is probably collecting IP addresses and he's
going to start stalking you or something. I'm almost afraid to write this..
*shiver*
WHOA now everytime I press the submit button after visiting his site,
konqueror crashes
mozilla to post this now.
Punch Line, kind of (Score:3, Interesting)
It's in the second sentence. The first links go to lawyer joke pages.
My guess is that the TOS are official, more or less.
Re:don't visit! scary! (Score:4, Insightful)
WE REGRET THAT DUE TO THE COPPA LAW, CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 13 YEARS ARE PROHIBITED FROM CONTACTING THE CPRR MUSEUM BY E-MAIL OR OTHERWISE, AND REQUESTS FOR HOMEWORK HELP OR OTHER INFORMATION ON BEHALF OF SUCH CHILDREN MUST COME FROM THE CHILD'S PARENT OR LEGAL GUARDIAN. (While we're on the subject of dumb laws, we should point out that we are unable to utilize the child safe
Based on for example that snippet (2nd word REGRET has this link [amazon.com]) one might conclude that it isn't that serious.
I should be racking up money.... (Score:3, Funny)
As of 8:16PM EST on 2.7.04.... (Score:3, Funny)
As of 8:16PM EST on 2.8.04... they're going to need a bigger hit counter.
Copyright? (Score:2)
They were taken before 1930, the vast majority, right?!!?!
bittorrent/mirror (Score:2)
The TOS covers everything (Score:4, Funny)
potential violation (Score:2)
I recall several sites that their TOS dont allow you to actually read the site or the TOS.
Not to mention briefly at the NYS DOH they had a policy that forbade you from (effectively) accessing the internet as it was their policy to not allow you to download copyrighted information.
Too long... (Score:2, Funny)
and no, I didn't RTFTOS, not completely at least.
NBA Tickets (Score:5, Interesting)
"This ticket is a revocable license.The holder, on behalf of the holder and any minor accompanying the holder (individually and collectively, the "Holder"), agrees to all of the terms hereof."
Then it goes on in excruciating detail about all of the stuff I can't do with the tickets I just purchased, and how by buying a ticket I grant them permission forever to use my image in whatever manner they see fit without paying a penny, etc, etc. By word count, that email is 19% transaction confirmation and 81% legalese.
The nice thing is that "This ticket cannot be replaced if lost, stolen or destroyed". WTF???? They made it patently clear I had bought a license...
Just thought it was sorta funny, in a sad way, and somewhat ontopic.
Re:NBA Tickets (Score:2)
Re:NBA Tickets (Score:3, Interesting)
I went to the AFC Championship game (Patriots vs Indy) on the 18th and the back of the ticket reads (Spelling mistakes mine since I typed this manually
This ticket and all season tickets are revocable licenses. The Patriots reserve teh right to revoke such licenses, in their sole discretion, at any time and for any reason. Patriots may refuse admission to, or eject, any ticket holder without refund if the holder fails to comply with any applicable rules or terms, or is deemed to be d
It's a JOKE (Score:5, Informative)
A damn good joke too, I might add.
No it's not.. (Score:5, Informative)
Re:It's a JOKE (Score:5, Insightful)
restore historic photographs, and we wanted to share thousands of
these wonderful images by placing them online for free viewing by the
public without inadvertently giving away the publication rights which
need to be retained to make our and other museums financially viable.
They have in fact done more than simply scan public domain images. They have scanned and cleaned up public domain images: this cleaning up and de-noising is what constitutes the "creative" aspect of their work. They want to retain their copy-rights (see what the word means now?) to be able to reproduce these pictures possibly in book format and sell them to recoup their expenses and perhaps also for profit.
If they didn't have TOS that said DON'T COPY THESE, THESE ARE OURS, someone else could come along and take their photograph clean-up work and profit from them giving none of the benefits of the work to those who produced their work. Now I agree that I can't claim to know how much work they did unless I could also see what the photos' scans looked like before the clean up.
And as for their phone number call charge, it's effectively the way to stop people from spamming their phone number. They're saying: Listen, we're NOT offering licenses to reproduce these images in any other medium to anyone else, DON'T BOTHER calling us to ask for this. IF YOU WASTE MY TIME by calling me at this number, I'll CHARGE YOU.
Isn't this exactly what most
What goes around, comes around (Score:2)
Good idea actually (Score:2, Interesting)
For example, if you write informally to ask us about using one or more images that you saw on the CPRR.org website and ask what the request will cost, while not specifying a price limit, you are thereby requesting and authorizing us to fill your order at a price consistent with the Use Fee Schedule and the terms and conditions of this User Agreement, and to let you know the total amount due for the license by sending you an electronic invoice whic
It might well hold up (Score:2)
Now, I once took a class in criminal law (community college, so again IANAL - this is just something I con
Holy crap... (Score:2, Insightful)
orkut (google.com) (Score:3, Interesting)
Is it just me or does google just keep getting slimier?
Re:orkut (google.com) (Score:2)
Slashdot Effect is against this agreement (Score:4, Interesting)
You are not permitted to, and you warrant and agree that you will not do or facilitate any of the following:
[...]
(9) engage in any activity that may or will directly or indirectly impose a disproportionately large, unanticipated, or unreasonable load on our website bandwidth or infrastructure
Oops! Did the submitter read that? I hope the submitter didn't agree to their terms of service - they might try and charge him:
You agree not to take any action that will impose a disproportionately large or unreasonable load on our computer web server(s), network, or other infrastructure. Please be mindful of the large amounts of data transfer needed to allow viewing of the CPRR Museum web pages with multiple, large images, and avoid suddenly flooding the CPRR Museum website with large numbers of unanticipated visitors. Suddenly increased, excess web traffic on this website as a result of your actions, including but not limited to publicity, reporting, or recommendations to others regarding this website on network television or radio or national publications or media, of more than one gigabyte of additional Internet data transfer per month, shall be at your expense, and you agree to reimburse CPRR.org for the resulting costs at the rate of the then prevailing additional data transfer charge made by the Internet provider(s) hosting this website.
Completely Unenforceable (Score:4, Insightful)
Satire? (Score:2, Interesting)
Does anyone here read The Onion, or any other satire? If you didn't get the joke, go read Swift's Modest Proposal [art-bin.com].
Geekiness (Score:2)
When I read "TOS" I read "The Original Series" as in ST:TOS. I had to read that twice to understand they meant Terms Of Service, and now every instance of "TOS" in the comments gets me the same result...
Apparently it's a spoof (Score:2, Informative)
Look at the bottom of the page: No stereographs were harmed in the making of this website.
and another one: The author of this publication is CPRR.org, a pseudonym. The author, an individual scholar who is not a Counsellor at Law, asserts moral rights.
The CPPRs reply (Score:4, Informative)
Parody (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Parody (Score:5, Funny)
Good way to honeypot spammers? (Score:2)
IANAL, but... (Score:2)
Kill that EULA (Score:3, Interesting)
It just finds he first 'textarea' and replaces the content with a given payload.
Then when you click "I Agree" you aren't actually agreeing to their EULA.
[peerfear.org]
http://www.peerfear.org/rss/permalink/2004/01/0
Granted I have no idea if it's legal but who cares... it's all fun
So in this case you could hack the bookmarklet to replace the EULA with something like:
"All Your Base are not belong to Central Pacific"
and then hit the "I Agree" button.
It doesn't work for everything but at the very minimum you could search the page for "I Agree" and replace it with "I DON'T AGREE YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD!"
Gotta love the DOM!
Of course this will only work if they are checking CGI params but most web monkey's assume their HTML is readonly.
Kevin
Viewing the TOS accepts them (Score:2, Interesting)
Any access to or use of this website or [...] or sending the character string "/I_ACCEPT_the_User_Agreement/" to our web server as you must do to gain access to our images, or [...] or the like, all indicate and signify that "I ACCEPT" this user agreement [...].
This is a neat trick, but I don't know if a judge would fall for it. However, later on the same page, they have an image (the SpamCop button) loaded from:
http://www.cprr.org/Museum/images/I_ACCEPT_the_Use r_Agreement/logos/spamcop.gif
So simp
Oh YEAH?! (Score:5, Funny)
Click on the link to see the agreement... (Score:4, Funny)
In this case it states "Click on any LINK or image to indicate "I ACCEPT" the USER Agreement." Where User Agreement is in fact a link. Hence, you have agreed to an agreement which you were unable to view before agreement.
This is the same as placing stickers on CD/DVD roms stating "by opening this packet you agree to the enclosed User Agreement". The user agreement then would go on to say "...You are to sacrifice a virgin on every full moon (or in the case of
Re:Click on the link to see the agreement... (Score:4, Informative)
You don't even have to visit the website to agree:
"BY SENDING US AN E-MAIL OR OTHER COMMUNICATION, WHETHER DIRETLY OR INDIRECTLY, YOU ARE ASSERTING THAT YOU HAVE READ AND AGREE TO THIS USER AGREEMENT, WITHOUT LIMITATION, THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THIS USER AGREEMENT, AND THAT YOU ARE LEGALLY AUTHORIZED TO ASSENT TO BE BOUND TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS AS PRESENTED IN THIS USER AGREEMENT. "
But that's quite a long way down the 20,000 word document, so you may not have noticed...
Source reveals DMCA protected copyright control (Score:4, Informative)
<!-- STOP THIEF! WARNING: IT IS A FEDERAL CRIME UNDER THE DIGITAL MILLENIUM COPYRIGHT ACT -->
<!-- TO CIRCUMVENT THIS COPY PROTECTION MECHANISM TO DOWNLOAD COPYRIGHTED IMAGES. -->
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://CPRR.org/no-download.js"></script&g t;
Commercial licensing of images. (Score:3, Funny)
I mean, holy freaking shit!
liquidated damages completely unenforcable at law (Score:3, Informative)
Section 356(1) of the Restatement (Second) of Contracts (which is pretty much universal contract law across America) states:
(1) Damages for breach by either party may be liquidated in the agreement but only at an amount that is reasonable in the light of the anticipated or actual loss caused by the breach and the difficulties of proof of loss. A term fixing unreasonably large liquidated damages is unenforceable on grounds of public policy as a penalty.
From what I know, this basic principle of contract law is the same pretty much everywhere. Liquidated damage provisions are most often used to offset the cost of delay in a party's performance of contractual duties. But of course, a reasonable fixed cost must be set. Can't be a penalty, merely a means of recouping a loss.
Not written by a lawyer (troll alert!) (Score:4, Insightful)
I have a method for identifying legaleze, or for that matter, anything written by a lawyer: count the number of times the document uses "in the event that" and compare to the number of times it uses "if". "In the event that" is pure, useless verbiage which can in all circumstances be replaced with "if". It's simply poor writing and is not more "clear" or "exact" than "if", but I guess it's ingrained in lawyer culture, so they continue to use it.
This document uses "in the event that" ten times, but uses "if" over eighty times. Looks like wannabe legaleze to me.
Indeed, if you look at the bottom of the document, you'll find this:
I guess my point is that this isn't as funny as you would think: if it were an actual lawyer writing this, it would show just how bad things have become around here, but it's not some lawyer, just some random loony.Another possibility is that this man has just pulled off the most masterful troll in the history of the Internet by fooling thousands of Slashdot readers into rightful indignation. However, the document seems serious about some of the provisions about copying images, so this might not be the case. On the other hand, these more plausible sections may have been added specifically to ward off trollbusters.
In any case, take it with a grain of salt. You might end up looking foolish if you say that this signals the end of American civilization.