Database of All UK Children Launched 296
An anonymous reader writes "'A controversial database which holds the details of every child in England has now become available for childcare professionals to access. The government says it will enable more co-ordinated services for children and ensure none slips through the net. 390,000 people will have access to the database, but will have gone through stringent security training.'"
Pedobear (Score:5, Funny)
(just a matter of when)
Re:Pedobear (Score:5, Funny)
mysql -u pedobear -p password -P 3306
> SELECT * FROM underage_children ORDERBY date_of_birth DESC;
Re:390,000? Yeah, right (Score:5, Funny)
and that nasty lady on the front desk who's job is purely to be unhelpful
Computer says noooooo...
Obligatory quote (Score:5, Funny)
Melchett: Now, I've compiled a list of those with security clearance, have you got it Darling?
Darling: Yes sir.
Melchett: Read it please.
Darling: It's top security sir, I think that's all the Captain needs to know.
Melchett: Nonsense! Let's hear the list in full!
Darling: Very well sir. "List of personnel cleared for mission Gainsborough, as dictated by General C. H. Melchett: You and me, Darling, obviously. Field Marshal Haig, Field Marshal Haig's wife, all Field Marshal Haig's wife's friends, their families, their families' servants, their families' servants' tennis partners, and some chap I bumped into the mess the other day called Bernard."
Melchett: So, it's maximum security, is that clear?
Blackadder: Quite so sir, only myself and the rest of the English speaking world is to know.
Re:Och nooo! UK is not England! (Score:5, Funny)
shhh, ya great jessie, ye'll gee the gam awa'
Simple solution ! name your child one of these: (Score:5, Funny)
Syntax error
Test ignore
Null value
And my personal favorite:
rm -rf
Re:not my children (Score:5, Funny)
TDIUWP (Score:5, Funny)
This Database Is Useless Without Pictures.
Re:Simple solution ! name your child one of these: (Score:5, Funny)
If they allow special characters, mine would be named ;drop table *;
Re:Simple solution ! name your child one of these: (Score:3, Funny)
Or even better:
'; delete from users; commit;
Re:will not prevent anything (Score:5, Funny)
A database is worth little unless you implant a small tracking device in all you wish to track, and monitor constantly.
Finally, someone offering a workable solution.
Re:This Will End Badly (Score:2, Funny)
surely some will slip through the cracks.
An unfortunate turn of phrase.
Re:Och nooo! UK is not England! (Score:3, Funny)
Large parts of the UK fought and bled for the right to not be part of England.
Hey, we bought you fair and square. You're ours now. That's how capitalism works. It wasn't even a hostile acquisition, it was an economic rescue plan.
Re:Pedobear (Score:5, Funny)
> SELECT * FROM underage_children ORDERBY date_of_birth DESC;
Error: 1337 (PARTYVAN): Why don't you have a seat over there?
Re:missing tag? (Score:5, Funny)
Naming (Score:1, Funny)
Re:390,000? Yeah, right (Score:3, Funny)
*cough*
Re:Pedobear (Score:3, Funny)
Hey, this is a UK GOVERNMENT database - you really think it will use SQL?
More likely a 'specialist', proprietary language that only the consultants can use.
Either that, or they forgot to include a 'dob' field in the main table, but a 'fix' will be released 'soon'.
meh: captcha was 'overflow' - says it all!
My son is called Rollback; (Score:3, Funny)
Sorry, you should have added a 'Commit;' to your son's name.
Re:missing tag? (Score:5, Funny)
Some drunken bureacrat left it in a taxi.
They left it on a train, but claimed the money for a taxi when they did their expenses.