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Senate Votes To Empower Parents As Censors 418

unlametheweak recommends an Ars Technica report that the US Senate has unanimously passed a bill requiring the FCC to explore what "advanced blocking technologies" are available to parents to help filter out "indecent or objectionable programming." "...the law does focus on empowering parents to take control of new media technologies to deal with undesired content, rather than handing the job over to the government. It asks the FCC to focus the inquiry on blocking systems for a 'wide variety of distribution platforms,' including wireless and Internet, and an array of devices, including DVD players, set top boxes, and wireless applications."
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Senate Votes To Empower Parents As Censors

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  • by leomekenkamp ( 566309 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @08:13AM (#25271673)

    Would that mean that in the US you would finally be able to see on national television what we here in the Netherlands have been able to see since the 60s (if we want to): naked people?

  • by sakdoctor ( 1087155 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @08:36AM (#25271833) Homepage

    Can parents detain their kids for 42 days without trial?
    Force them to hand over encryption keys?

    Obviously these parental powers need to be enshrined in law.

  • by secondsun ( 195377 ) <> on Monday October 06, 2008 @08:44AM (#25271901) Journal

    I recently discovered that there was a really cool filtering tool that came on all my game consoles, dvd players, televisions, computers, and music players. It is a button that says "on". When pressed, the filter activates then the picture and sound stop. I thought it was new, but it has only been relabeled. Previously this feature had been marked as a "O" or a "I" on a giant toggle.

  • by gomiam ( 587421 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @08:46AM (#25271921)

    Can parents detain their kids for 42 days without trial?

    Isn't that called grounding? And, considering some kids' reaction to showers, one would think they were being waterboarded ;-)

  • by ozphx ( 1061292 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @08:47AM (#25271925) Homepage

    Yeah Australia is going nuts at the moment trying to implement internet filters. Nevermind that IE has had parental control since IE4, and Vista has that built in. Presumably there are similar solutions on other OS's.

    How many damn levels of filtering does there have to be between a man and his porno? I mean, FFS, will the situation be that I have to call the National, State and City Filtering Authorities and register for a two hour unblock on my IP a couple of days in advance every time I want to fap?

    Gentlemen it will be a sad day for all of us when we have to go back to tribeswomens titties in National Geographic magazine....

  • by pjt33 ( 739471 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @09:00AM (#25272031)
    If parents mention "waterboarding" to children the latter will probably roll their eyes and say something about it being called "wakeboarding". And they need more pocket money.
  • Why Golf Channel? Bedtime stories not putting your kids to sleep quickly enough?
  • by LatencyKills ( 1213908 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @10:58AM (#25273315)
    My parents made is quite clear what was appropriate television viewing with a teaching mechanism known as a spanking if I were caught watching something I wasn't supposed to. It was so highly effective that I'm patenting it, and now parents who continue to spank their children will not only be in trouble with child abuse laws, but will have to pay my licensing fees as well.
  • by novakreo ( 598689 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @11:04AM (#25273399) Homepage

    Funny, I always got "Do you think money grows on trees?" which is a terribly strange question to ask a child with no concept of where money DOES come from. You eventually learn the correct answer is "no", but you still have no idea WHY the answer is "no".

    Hang on, isn't American money still made of paper?

  • by celtic_hackr ( 579828 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @11:20AM (#25273605) Journal

    Hey, you! Butt out. Don't tell me how to raise my kid! I know where my child is! Glued in front of the TV watching commercials, with some commercialized programming interspersed. When my child isn't watching TV, my child is playing massively disgusting, gross, anti-social, kill or be killed, rob or get robbed violent a** videogames. By neglecting my child, I am empowering my child to become a normal average American, who will hopefully grow up to build the next great video-sharing site and upload lots and lots of copyrighted works to distribute and screw the artists ... err ... big bad corporations out of their righfu ... err ... greedy a** profits. I'm too busy vegging out and getting drunk, so I can numb my brain to this sick world to worry about what my child is doing, and I resent being told by insensitive jerks that I'm not responsible!

    My parents told me no, all the time, and made me play boardgames and card games and made me interact with people and go outside and play! I'm not going to subject my child to that kind of abuse! NO WAY!

    Ever look at what's available in the way of chemistry sets today? Ha, so much for the days when you could potentially do real damage with a chemistry set. Good thing, I have a local science store that will build them to spec.

  • by Etcetera ( 14711 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @01:29PM (#25275113) Homepage

    The common thread is that many of the complainers are simply emo teenagers who have parental issues...

    Truer words have never been spoken here...

  • by mweather ( 1089505 ) on Monday October 06, 2008 @03:32PM (#25276491)
    I leared everything I need to know about raising children from the 80s: When a problem comes along, you must whip them.

The absent ones are always at fault.