Apple Lawyering Up On "Fake Steve Jobs" 346
An anonymous reader sends us to The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs for a developing situation. Daniel Lyons, a.k.a. Fake Steve Jobs, made a post earlier today revealing that Apple was offering him some money (in the wake of the ThinkSecret shutdown) to close down his blog. He said he was interested in taking it. A few hours later, Lyons posted again revealing that Apple's lawyers had contacted him angrily, saying the details of the deal were supposed to remain private. Fake Steve replied 'we either deal out in the open, completely transparently, or we don't deal.' A third post gives details of Apple's lawyers' next response, going totally medieval on him. Since then the situation has calmed down a bit.
I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
It's also possible that fake Steve is being... fak (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (Score:5, Informative)
Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (Score:5, Insightful)
If it's a joke, which it appears to be, I think Apple would be completely justified in going after him.
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When you write something, you are making a permanent record. You're preserving a fa
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It isn't libel if it's true!
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Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (Score:2)
Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
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You haven't travelled outside the US much, have you?
I realize traveling outside the US will expose you to different forms of cured swine flesh. However, none are neccesserally better. I think I had "real bacon" once in that I had something on an egg sandwich I thought resembled pastrami. It was good, and distinct from bacon, but not earth shattering enough for me to go find a butcher. Bacon serves a purpose in the US. You can fry up two pieces of the thick cut stuff in a 12" cast iron skillet and then you don't need any lard to fry your eggs for breakfast.
Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
Well, the Danes are certainly involved, but it's the pigs who are committed.
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sounds like some laws must have been broken (Score:4, Interesting)
Aren't US Banks and financial institutions legally obligated to protect your private information such as the terms of your mortgage and the details of your bank and investment accounts?
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Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (Score:4, Informative)
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People really started hating MS when they started this same stuff so Apple shouldn't for a second think they're somehow immune to that same wide-spread hate. I use apple products because I like them, but I'm not going to kid myself and think they're somehow "thinking different" i
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In most (all?) states, mortgages (every last page of them) are public records and filed at the court house, as are any other liens against your real property.
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IANAL, but I've seen a bunch on TV. There's a Citation to Discover Assets that someone mentioned, but I believe these are limited to creditors. Basically, it works like this: Creditor says you owe them money. Creditor takes you to court to basically get legal enforcement of you paying them back. If you lose and are judged to
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This is a perfect example of just how wrong-headed that approach is to privacy. None of the information that the lawyer dug up on Lyons is embarrassing or evidence of illegal activities. But the implied threat that a MegaCorp of essentially unlimited resources knows where you live and who is dear to you and wants you to know that they know is enough to convince many people to just give t
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I'm just glad... (Score:3, Insightful)
I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the people who insist Apple is the greatest company of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that Apple is a corporation (for better or worse) on par with most corporations.
Re:I'm just glad... (Score:4, Interesting)
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If I had to come up with rankings it would probably be something like
1. Apple
2. Microsoft
3. Sony
Even Microsoft doesn't do this bullshit.
Re:I'm just glad... (Score:4, Informative)
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I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the people who insist Apple is the greatest company of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that Apple is a corporation (for better or worse) on par with most corporations.
I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the zealots who insist religion/sports team/celebrity is the greatest religion/sports team/celebrity of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that religion/sports team/celebrity is a religion/sports team/celebrity (for better or worse) on par with most religions/sports teams/celebrities.
Fixed that for you.
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I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the people who insist Apple is the greatest company of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that Apple is a corporation (for better or worse) on par with most corporations.
They're not just "on par", they are one of the worst. I always get a load of crap when I point this out, but Apple is BY FAR the most evil computer company (there are certainly more evil non-computer companies). How many Bill Gates parodies are ou
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I wish folks would quit giving that attention-whore Lyons any attention... especially when he's lying his ass off ;)
OK, it may be a hoax... but wasn't it perfectly believable that Apple would act this way?
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OK, it may be a hoax... but wasn't it perfectly believable that Apple would act this way?
It is plausible for some corporations, but that's what makes trolls so successful to the uninitiated - that kernel of possible plausibility.
OTOH, Apple has never (to my knowledge) done any sort of astroturfing efforts - ever. No free blogger laptops, no fake 'bloggers' or 'commenters', no fake websites purporting to be 3rd-party fansites... none of that. That makes the whole thing implausible and unbelievable.
Lyons failed hard, which made it easy to spot for what it was... first off, astroturfing is
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It is simple, people need heroes (Score:5, Insightful)
Humans are simple creatures, we need the world defined in goodies and baddies, that often means having to make the choice of the lesser of two evils, and not always getting it right.
Godwin time perhaps, in WW2 who are the goodies and who are the baddies? You have the axis and the allies. Well Japan and Germany clearly belong in the baddies groups, these are evil nations whose people have not a single redeeming quality. The role of Italy and and Austria is slightly more complex. Italy often seems to be able to shrug of the worsed of the holocaust.
But the goodies? The US of A? Hitler went to the east for lebensraum, the americans trekked to the west and killed the people already living there. What is the difference between a sign that says "Geine Juden" and "No Blacks"?
England? Talk about a country bend on taking over the world, it made an empire out of astraucities. The soviet union/russia? Well at least Stalin could never be called a racist, he had entire populations wiped out of all sorts. Equality of a kind I suppose.
Yet we must pick and in popular culture that often means we gloss over the "truth" to present one side in a better light. You might have noticed that in the recent WW2 tv series Band of Brothers absolutly no mentions is made of the US army policies regarding blacks or those with ancestors from Japan?
Part of the final solution was to deport jews to remote areas where they could be controlled/wiped out. Explain to me the motivations between Indian reservations and the rather diminsied population figures of native americans?
In WW2 there were only baddies, just that some at that particulair time were not as active as others and depending on your own background some weren't intrested in being very bad to you at that moment. Why string up a jew when blacks are so much more fun?
Yet we need to have a hero, and so we make one, by putting on blinders.
Steve Jobs is a figure in IT, there are many others, but he can be very closely linked to Bill Gates, an obvious baddy (although once seen as a hero freeing us from the evil IBM, a company that is now often seen as a goodie).
What really is the difference between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates apart from income? It is a well known part of computer history that it was Steve Jobs own (what is the word, incompetence, arrogance) that handed Bill Gates the PC market. Apple, IBM, Commodore, Atari etc etc all screwed up at a crucial point leaving Wintel to rule the market. A lot has been written about it already, including on slashdot.
But just imagine that Steve Jobs hadn't made what ever mistake it was he made and that Apple had come to rule the PC market, what then? Would it have been any better? Imagine that the holocaust had never happened, would the US be the evil country for its treatment of blacks, would it have continued like South Africa? How much did the realization of the holocaust change american opinion on its own treatment of a part of the population?
Apple has never been any more open with its software then Microsoft has. While MS software has always been bug prone, I have to say that the most crashy PC I have ever seen was running OS9. Supporting DRM, are we talking about Steve "Disney" Jobs here? Sony is often a villain when it comes to consumer rights, but when did Apple ever fight a legal battle FOR fair use?
But we need a hero, and so we make one, reality be damned. The sad part is that we got real heroes in IT, Stallman in front, but that person is WAY to much of a hero. People often insultingly try to compare him to Jezus but I personally see that as a rather important clue as to real heroes who truly stand for something. The person of jezus, if he was real, was a real pain in the ass for the powers that be, even his own followers. Really read the bible and you find a guy who was kicking against a lot of pedastals and upsetting people. Very confenient he was killed and that the pleps couldn't read and that the powers that be could tell their people what Jezus had RE
Control? (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm always confused by Apple on matters like this; a lot of these people are key in building & maintaining hype in Apple products. If Apple (apple legal?) had their way, it seems like there'd be... well... Apple.com and a few keynotes every year as the only way people would learn details of (and think of?) new products.
I'm a big Apple fan & I love their approach of using/contributing to open source software where it makes sense to improve their products - but their marketing and PR people seem at odds with their engineering attitude (especially with their solution-oriented attitude recently with iPhone, Apple TV compared to their key skill as a superb platform (NB. this point was blatantly stolen from Wil Shipley's blog)). I know PR people think about things completely differently from engineers but you'd think that was a company attitude, not just with the people making the magic
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...think about things completely differently
Actionable Items (Score:4, Insightful)
Since when was parody actionable?
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"Since when was parody actionable?" (Score:2)
Guys... It's probably a joke. (Score:5, Informative)
One from the real Steve Jobs:
RSJ just responded to my email, saying, "I think this is a joke."
I'm a bit annoyed by this, since I was defending you, and now look something of a fool.
I wrote a bit of an inflammatory email to sjobs@apple.com, and actually got a response.
Here is the text of the conversation (read bottom to top, of course)
I think this is all a joke. And I think you fell for it.
Steve
On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:35 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm not sure who I've reached here, but in the interest of finishing what you start, this is what I'm referring to:
http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/12/thanks-for-your-support.html [blogspot.com]
On Dec 22, 2007, at 5:29 PM, Steve Jobs wrote:
What, praytell, are you talking about?
On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:01 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm an admitted Apple fanboy, but I can't say I admire this. I would have thought you all would have appreciated the affectionate satire rather than being unaccountable assholes.
Gary Baldwin
Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (Score:4, Interesting)
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a joke? (Score:3, Interesting)
I really do hope this is a joke, Apple doesn't have much to gain pulling a stunt like this...
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Seriously, read some of his ramblings about the SCOX saga. He's a paid shill.
Someday... (Score:2)
But Apple loves their lawyers and relishes their litigation. And I predict that soon they will go too far, and when they do they will experience a backlash that makes Sony hate seem like mild annoyance. The greater the love lost, the greater the hate that remains.
Joke... (Score:2)
Ah yes, Dan Lyons... (Score:5, Insightful)
Not exactly a paragon of virtue himself... and not above conducting business in public when it suits him, and in private when he can get away with it.
This guy also thought SCO was a sure winner and wasn't very polite about the Linux community.
EFF? (Score:4, Interesting)
Assuming that this is true, this doesn't shed too good a light on the EFF. Isn't the EFF supposed to help bloggers that are being attacked by large corporations, regardless of what is posted on the blog and, in particular, of whether the person likes the EFF? At least, isn't that what people who donate to the EFF expect it to do?
Re:EFF? (Score:5, Insightful)
Do you really believe that? Parts of this hoax were believable, but the EFF part was obviously a joke.
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If that doesn't tell you it's a joke... (Score:5, Insightful)
Shame on the lot of you. This is supposed to be a smart crowd here. Don't let your bias get to the point where you just look foolish. It's xmas, it's the weekend, but Apple lawyers are firing off quick replies that are increasingly brutal despite their previous emails all going directly public via FSJ? Come on, nerds, use your brains.
Re:EFF? (Score:5, Informative)
Speaking personally, I do prefer Daniel Lyons when he's writing fiction like this, to when he's acting as a journalist and penning articles talking about the dangers of anonymous blogs [forbes.com], and how you should shut them up by using the DMCA or by suing them [forbes.com]. That wasn't funny advice to give to businesses, and could have got them in non-fictional legal trouble real fast.
Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (Score:5, Funny)
You're barking up the wrong tree. I expect stories posted here to be accurate for the most part. I'm not expected to be an expert on the stories, enough to call "BS" on them. You're post is utter crap. If this is a fake, the onus is on this site, not us that read this site.
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Judging from your other posts up above, you're just disappointed that you spent all that effort vilifying Apple over a story that turns out to be bogus.
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And as other have pointed out he wasn't writing In Character so even if I was familiar with the blog, I'd have been fooled.
I expect fake stories to make it through on April fools day. While an occasional fe
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No, of course not. So stop being a dick. I don't read apple blogs in general. No reason for me to since I'm not fascinated by shiny objects.
So sorry.
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But of course, that would be too rational. Let's wrap our heads in tinfoil, just in case.
I've said ti before and I'll say it again (Score:3, Insightful)
But then buying Apple products is the same except it starts with a new house and works it's way back to the dress, car, and kitchen appliances which can only come from the same company that built the house.
I am constantly amazed with the people who flock to Apple when they do the same thing at the hardware level that Microsoft does at the software level and that is product line lock in.
The major reason Apple lost the numbers war to Microsoft is that Windows and it's related products were allowed to run on any IBM PC clone while Jobs wanted to control every aspect of the Apple and sued out of existence the very people who were trying to clone an Apple and extend the user base of Apple and Apple-like products. Microsoft doesn't really care about pirated software in third world countries as long as the computers are running Microsoft products. They have a foot hold on future sales when the dust clears from law suits and the users are socialized into thinking that Microsoft is the only product they can use. As long as it's not Linux/x386BSD/Apple they are willing to tolerate pirating because it extends the base of users of MS technologies.
While Apple may make a better product overall (remember Mac OS is FreeBSD under the covers) they will always be only a niche market because Jobs is a worse control freak than Gates. --
Re:I've said ti before and I'll say it again (Score:5, Insightful)
Really? I run Mac OS X and Windows XP on my Mac, and if I wanted to I could have my pick of Linux or BSD variants that work on Intel on my Mac.
And since my iMac is really nothing but a glorified Intel-based laptop on a stand, I'm not exactly sure what part of the hardware locks me in. Perhaps it's these proprietary USB and Firewire ports on the back that only allow me to attach Apple-only peripherals. Perhaps it's the built in Pioneer DVD-RW that Apple nicknames the "Superdrive" that allows me to only burn on Apple branded discs to Apple-only formats. (If only I could manage to read ISO files, perhaps even go as far as to mount them as a new drive when I double clicked on them). If only Steve Jobs wasn't such a channel-controlling, OEM bullying monopolistic control freak...
Seriously, people (Score:5, Insightful)
(2) The EFF would never say that.
(3) If Lyons has a contract to continue the blog, then his employer would most certainly be fielding the lawyers, because if anything were actionable, they'd be liable too. (duh) So his "I've already paid a ton for a lawyer" was another giveaway.
What's hilarious is that Real Steve Jobs (or at least someone acting on his behalf) took the time to reply to a few angry readers who emailed him.
Nice posts though. FSJ rocks.
Slashdot has a complete absense of humor (Score:2)
Many of you would do well to remember that FSJ is a parody blog, sometimes at its finest, sometimes not so much.
Those of you kneejerk types can also rest easy in the fact that because FSJ is a parody blog, it doesn't have any actual news content or any "rumors" worth suing over either.
Re:Slashdot has a complete absense of humor (Score:5, Insightful)
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A clarification or retraction is called for (Score:5, Insightful)
Apple does enough things that genuinely warrant criticism. Inventing a story like this, and publicising it as fact, is unconscionable.
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How about we wait until we actually get solid evidence either way before we start throwing words like 'unconscionable' around?
(Good word though, I like it)
This guy just pulled off the biggest April Fools (Score:5, Insightful)
Not only has he baited those of us who read the FSJ blog, but he has also baited every Microsoft fanboy and Apple fanboy who read his blog, who don't read his blog, and now Slashdot.
If the Internet ever gave out trophies, this guy deserves at least 5. Maybe 6.
Very interesting story (Score:2)
The point of the hoax (Score:2, Insightful)
I believe Fake SJ was attempting to point out how incredibly believable this scenario has become, due to Apple's declining public image. Five years ago, if someone had pulled a stunt like this, no one would have believed it. Today, people were emailing Real SJ, without any doubt that Apple would sue a satire. The absurd has become reality.
Strange... (Score:2)
Admit it: those of you who bought into it initially did so because you could totally believe lawyers doing something like that based on real stories in the past. It's not really all that unbelievable.
Lyons is funny, in a trollish sort of way (Score:3, Interesting)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLpxX9vqr5c [youtube.com]
He says that intentionally introducing little errors (Lissabon vs Lebanon etc.) and watching the angry letters and corrections roll in is "better than sex".
The video is well worth watching, though, also for some other insights into how the business publishing world works (e.g., Icahn placing stories that paint a bleak picture of Motorola in order to get rid of Zander).
He may well have invented this entire legal stuff as a publicity stunt. If so, he may have crossed the line.
Real Dan Lyons can kiss my ass. (Score:3, Interesting)
How about fake journalist? Fake analyst? Fake intellectual?
The guy is firmly attached to the corporate teat, and things like
Linux scare him to death, because he can't figure out how to make
money on it. When Fake SCO came along, he started spouting anti-Linux
vitriol at every turn; here's just a sample;
"In other words, like many religious folk, the Linux-loving crunchies
in the open-source movement are a) convinced of their own
righteousness, and b) sure the whole world, including judges, will
agree."
http://www.forbes.com/2003/06/18/cz_dl_0618linux_print.html [forbes.com]
Of course, when it turned out we Linux supporters had it right all
along, Dan jumped off of the SCO bandwagon while it was hurtling
downhill at warp speed, and he nearly broke both of his ankles in the
process. His "apology" basically blamed Darl McBride, saying all Dan
did was repeat what Darl and company told him. Excuse me? You're
trying to pawn yourself off as a journalist, yet you take the word of
a litigious, all hat, no cattle wannabe cowboy, and then fail to
research the whole story?
If anything, Dan Lyons is an even worse shill than Rob Enderle - at
least Rob has the decency to reply to people directly, as he has done
with me on several occasions; Dan is too chickenshit to admit he was
wrong, on his own accord.
(I'd bring up the poor quality of his "blook" here, but that would
mean I'd have to detail all of the material he blatantly stole from
the regulars of the Yahoo SCOX message board, which I don't have the
time for right now; I will say that when you read the material there,
you've gotten exactly what you paid for; I don't see how Dan can live
with himself for trying to *charge* for it in print!) -saltydogmn on
Yahoo SCOX
P.S. Dan, if you're reading this, make sure to have Darl send me my $699/cpu invoice for running Linux on my computers; I have 3 of them, including this IBM laptop; 2 running Kubuntu, and 1 Xubuntu. Where should I send the check, and, more importantly, WHY? kthxbye
Cue real lawsuit in 3... 2... 1... (Score:4, Interesting)
It was all fun and games until he started flat-out lying about Apple and the EFF (just like he'd already flat-out lied about SCO and Linux). I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find either of them really suing them now, say for libel and defamation of character. Way to go, dumbass.
Title change needed (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (Score:2)
Here's an idea, what if all us Slashdetters each start a Fake Steve Jobs blog...
Apple doesn't bother with this - it's a hoax (Score:4, Insightful)
But it sure gets danny a lot of free publicity. Danny is a pure fiction writer. Danny is laughing up his sleeve right now, because of the slashdotters he fooled.
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Regardless, what Apple is doing is not very bright in my opinion. Parody is still fairly well protected despite the best efforts of big business/government to remove that protection and it says FAKE right in the title...
Yes, but that's not why it's stupid. It's stupid because Apple has long tried to market itself as different than MS, more progressive than MS, and honestly, until relatively recently they've done a damn fine job of it. But each time they choose to do this sort of thing, like the iphones only for credit card, putting off the next version of OSX for the iphone, threatening to brick the unlocked iphones then bricking them along with the still locked ones and now trying to shut down fake Steve Jobs in a questi
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Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (Score:5, Interesting)
I remember back in the System 7/8 days when in a 0.0.x update they modified the CD-ROM driver to no longer work with non-apple CD ROM drives. All you had to do to "fix" it was go open the driver in ResEdit and change two bytes, but still.
Apple has always been about proprietary, closed in, locked down platforms. They've generally wanted to be Microsoft, but control the hardware too. None of this is new---nor should it be surprising.
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Obviously I don't think
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Re:god (Score:4, Funny)
thats enough for me to say NO to future purchase of any apple products!
At least, until the iPhone comes out in lime green...
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Actually, scratch that. Linux kernel devs *do* look like assholes.
I do think it's kind of cool that one unsubstantiated blog rumor can make it to the front page of slashdot, and then get people to swear off buying products from a company. I hope that the small company I'm worki
Re:god (Score:4, Insightful)
I agree. Whenever any Apple-using friends of mine trot out the line that "Apple is a better company than Microsoft", I just point out stuff like this.
Re:Not shocking? Sue Me! (Score:2, Insightful)
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Apple didn't lock anything down that hasn't always been locked down. Do you think Windows is an open specification? And Mac prices were only insane because RAM was insanely expensive. Apple shipped 32-bit color workstations in the 80s which PC tards compared to 256 color PCs and decided the Mac was more expensive. It was not. Compared to an equally equipped PC, it was the same price. The only difference was that Apple didn't sell cheap low end boxes that were obsolete at p
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Let me take you back a little while. A few decades. You have a lot of different computer options for the home. But they were all complete options. If you bought an Apple it was their hardware (or picked hardware), it was their software that ran it. It was very similar to buying a console game system today.
That changed when Wintel broke out. Two companies (one supplying hardware to vendors, th
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Open? More like chaotic. Microsoft and these manufacturers often worked at cross purposes which quite often made for a miserable PC experience. Calling bullshit on the previous post may have been a little strong but I'd say Dan absolutely does have a clue - just from a different angle.
The landscape of commodity hardware "back in the day" was a hundred manufacturers beating each other to death for that 1% profit margin, most of them beholden to Microsoft. Manufacturing PCs was a game that Microsoft wisely s
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A good portion of the world is running their shit software and amazingly, it just fucking works.
They got caught with their pants down with 95 that wasn't ready for the internet boom. Yeah, sucks for them.
You can remain a cynical
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I don't have a problem with anything in your second paragraph, and it doesn't contradict anything I wrote. Only your initial claim does.
I never claimed IBM didn't have control issues. In fact, I mentioned them next to Apple as companies I am happy did not win. It's when systems became available that weren't locked down (the clone wars and wintel) that the battle was settled.
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My first computer was a TRS-80 at school, and an Colecovision Adam at home. Dude across the street from me had a 64 that we messed around with. Another friend had a 2e. Another friend had a Vic. I know there were plenty home options in the 8