Microsoft Frowned at for Smiley Patent 369
theodp writes "ZDNet UK reports on criticism of Microsoft's attempt to patent the creation of custom emoticons. 'I would have expected to see something like this suggested by one of our more immature community members as a joke on Slashdot,' quipped Mark Taylor of the Open Source Consortium. 'We now appear to be living in a world where even the most laughable paranoid fantasies about commercially controlling simple social concepts are being outdone in the real world by well-funded armies of lawyers on behalf of some of the most powerful companies on the planet.'"
HOWTO: A Muslims guide to Backpacking in London (Score:-1, Funny)
But what about the 'normal' muslims, I hear you cry - how can they go about our lives in this post 7-7 world?
Hi, I'm The_Fire_Horse [slashdot.org] and you might remember me from such posts as
Cheese - what does it mean to the average Muslim, and
Islam - what *is* the point? I mean... really!
Today, we are going to discuss how the average bright eyed, yet naive mulsim can go about their lives following the devastating and shocking bomb attacks on London.
Step 1 - Dont be ashamed
You are a muslim - you have chosen your religeon freely because you parents told you to and despite nagging doubts in the back of your head that it is all a bit 'silly', you will continue to follow whatever interpretation of the koran anyone happens to talk about. Dont feel dumb - it isnt your fault - remember, that you have millions of others thinking just the same way, so you must be right!
Step 2 - Pack up your camping gear
You are going out to the country, so you will need lots of supplies! Get yourself a nice big backpack and fill it will pots, pans, food, clothes and spare copies of the koran because you will be out in the wilderness for several days.
Step 3 - Heading for the train
The train trip will take a while, so you will want to listen to some 'koran on tape' cassettes - put your walkman in your rucksack and feed the headphone wires out the top so you have access to the music.
OK, IT'S TIME TO GO!!!
With your headphones hanging out of your rucksack and your teatowel wrapped around your head, you can now proudly walk out the door of your hovel to the nearest train station to head off to your camping trip.
Step 4 - Dealing with the Police
If the police take an interest in you, simply screech "ALLAH BE PRAISED" and reach for your headphones so that you can let them hear the magical insight of the 'koran on tape'.
Should the police then reach for their guns, you will need to quickly remove your student id from your inside jacket pocket and show it to them. Dont worry - everything will sort itself out (Allah will know what to do)
Uhoh (Score:5, Funny)
=( (r)
* Disclaimer: "=(" is a registered Trademark of Microsoft Corporation of Redmond, WA. Used without permission.
(Please don't sue)
immature community members? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't know. These days it seems like the editors don't comment as much as they used to...
[rimshot]
All I have to say... (Score:3, Funny)
they want to patent emoticons, eh? (Score:5, Funny)
Instant Messengers.... (Score:1, Funny)
Patent THIS! (Score:5, Funny)
Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
Reason: Your comment looks too much like ascii art.
while you were all posting, i patented these :) (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Prior ASCII Art??? (Score:4, Funny)
Goatse version (Score:5, Funny)
Being a lwayer (Score:3, Funny)
See? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:while you were all posting, i patented these :) (Score:5, Funny)
Or did Microsoft beat you to it?
Re:Despair.com (Score:1, Funny)
And I do believe you're one the kind who like to talk too much.
Custom Smiley (Score:4, Funny)
Look, I can lick my nose!
Copyright Infringement Notice Notice ID: 43-131844 (Score:1, Funny)
We believe you may have been enaging in the illegal use of the following copyrighted emotions, which are the property of GlobalTech MegaCorp Holdings, LLC:
Happiness, Suprise, Bewilderment, Outrage, Despair, & Suicidal Depression.
Please cease and desist all current feelings of the above copyrighted emotions.
Please be advised that this letter is not and is not intended to be a complete statement of the facts or law as they may pertain to this matter or of MegaCorp's positions, rights or remedies, legal or equitable, all of which are specifically reserved.
Very truly yours,
Copyrighted Emotions Department
Internet Anti-Piracy Team
Re:Prior art? (Score:3, Funny)
I had a dream last night (Score:2, Funny)
"This is God, and I have already patented every thought you have ever thought, or ever will think
- and I've got one hell of a lawyer!"
Re:And my opinion is... (Score:5, Funny)
I saw where Microsoft has patented their new emoticon for their Linux strategy.
o
|\__o
Bastards.
Re:they want to patent emoticons, eh? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Prior art? (Score:2, Funny)
Big guy retaliates by enforcing celibacy on little guys who become priests, so they can't get any chicks?
Re:Uhoh (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Uhoh (Score:1, Funny)
Reply from microsoft (Score:3, Funny)
Microsoft Frowned at for Smiley Patent
Now you frown, till we patent thatWho Does He Think Is Running Microsoft? (Score:2, Funny)
Bill Gates is running Microsoft.
Has he ever read a biography of Gates?
"Immature" doesn't describe him adequately.
"Asshole" does pretty well, though.
Re:All I have to say... (Score:3, Funny)
A method, comprising: selecting pixels to be used as an emoticon; assigning a character sequence to the pixels; and transmitting the character sequence to a destination to allow for reconstruction of the pixels at the destination.
Note that if you happen to use a 19x19 group of pixels it not only violates the primary patent but claims 2 and 3 as well (and maybe others). I will select a 19x19 emoticon and a 2 character sequence and I will transmit it to you through this post such that it can be recontructed at the destination:
M$ [andrejgontcharov.com]
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