Jedi Master's Hand-Made Lightsaber Stolen 174
First time accepted submitter psiogen writes "Flynn Michael, an instructor at New York Jedi, an organization that teaches 'practical knowledge of how to use a lightsaber, left his custom-crafted blade for only a few imperial minutes, but when he returned, it was gone. From the article:'“Who steals somebody’s lightsaber? It’s like stealing someone’s toy out of the sandbox,” said Michael, the founder of New York Jedi, a stage combat performance group. “I finally got my uber custom saber, and then some jerk walks out with it."'"
Jawas Did It (Score:5, Funny)
>> Who steals somebody's lightsaber?
It was probably a Jawa. They'll take just about anything that isn't nailed down.
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That's rac... er... specist!
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Actually, there's a real word you're looking for there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speciesism
Re:Jawas Did It (Score:5, Funny)
Clearly the work of a Sith.
Re:Jawas Did It (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, I bet it was the guys from the Sith Academy a few blocks over.
After all, Jedi don't steal.
Always two there are (Score:4, Funny)
Clearly the work of a Sith.
But which was it, the master or the apprentice?
Re:Jawas Did It (Score:5, Funny)
I always called them New Yorker.
Re:Jawas Did It (Score:4, Funny)
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Where's your evidence? Do you have photos, video, errant droids with holograms or have they tried to sell you the lightsaber? No!?
I'm sick of the anti-Jawa bias on /.
Sometimes I'm disgusted with /.
Re:Jawas Did It (Score:5, Funny)
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Lemme guess, in Mos Eisley right? You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
A Real Jedi (Score:5, Informative)
Always carries his Lightsaber with him.
Re:A Real Jedi (Score:5, Funny)
A real Jedi could use the force to find it.
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A real Jedi could use the force to find it.
A real Jedi could use the Force to bring it back.
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A real Jedi would have used his mindtrick so the thief would have thought 'there are no lightsabers to steal around here' and left.
Re:A Real Jedi (Score:5, Funny)
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He could have hid it under the floor of any spaceship, or inside an R2 unit.
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Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad's. We were in that Imperial pit of hell together for over five years. Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Anakin Skywalker would be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I'm talking to you, Luke.
Always leave prized possessions. (Score:1)
I always leave my expensive prized possessions laying around in a highly populated area. Bonus points if you don't know any of these people very well.
Re:Always leave prized possessions. (Score:5, Funny)
That's ok ... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:That's ok ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:That's ok ... (Score:5, Informative)
God knows he's not gonna spend it on his website. I thought sites like that died with Netscape!
Even better, he's using a Star Trek TNG font for his header and logo!
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When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
Registration Now! (Score:4, Funny)
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That reminds of me of that t-shirt with Darth Vader on it saying, "Lighsabers don't kill people, I kill people".
this exists? (Score:4, Funny)
are these people allergic to vaginas?
Re:this exists? (Score:5, Insightful)
You are ignorant (Score:2)
All Jedi have to swear an oath of celibacy.
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Pretending you are a Jedi/Sith in real life, ensures that celibacy don't worry...
Re:this exists? (Score:5, Funny)
When your mom brings down your Hot Pockets ask her.
Re:this exists? (Score:4, Funny)
You're familiar with his mom's hot pocket?
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I didn't know her name was Ignis [wowhead.com].
Re:this exists? (Score:5, Funny)
Are you suggesting they are gay? That's mighty homophobic of you.
Yeah, come on, sometimes a giant, fluorescent representation of the strength of your manhood is just a giant, fluorescent representation of your manhood, NOTHING MORE MOVE ALONG.
Re:this exists? (Score:4, Funny)
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it.
He is not a Jedi yet (Score:1)
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So does whatever moron wrote that line.
These... (Score:2)
You can go about your business...
Move along...
Uber saber, Ultra saber (Score:2)
Some steals his über saber. But just his luck, his web site advertises ultra sabers. Sounds close enough to me.
All your saber... (Score:1)
are belong to us!
The Sith???? (Score:2)
Come on.
If some people are attracted to the light side, there are going to be some attracted to the dark side as well.....
As a "jedi" he should know this.
To find them he just needs to yell out "Hey Darth!!!" in a crowd.
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To find them he just needs to yell out "Hey Darth!!!" in a crowd.
Oh my god. You people are killing me tonight.
You don't need help to find a 7' foot tall asthmatic asshole in a crowd dressed completely in black with a Light Bright set on his torso with a huge helmet. I don't think they really considered if ol' Darth was going to blend into a crowd when they made him.
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Huh? It's all a matter of location, location, location, as usual. Just stuff him into the next ComiCon and he'll be gone in the crowd.
website (Score:1)
For god sake NY Jedi, pay for a web designer !
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(waves hand) This is not the webpage you're looking for...
A disturbence (Score:1)
Keep it on you (Score:1)
I always keep my lightsaber in my pants.
Repeat after me Padawan : (Score:5, Funny)
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no saber, wtf dude !?!?!
The TSA (Score:5, Funny)
At least he didn't try and take it though airport security.
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Funny, didn't hurt the second time.
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At least he didn't try and take it though airport security.
Even Luke Skywalker can't pull of that type of thing- he had his "penis compensator sized" light saber taken off him by the bouncer [snowrecords.com] once, when he tried to get into a nightclub with it.
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A. Force choke
B. Force lightning
C. Lightsaber through the face
Face it, the Sith have it much better. If you're a Sith, you get to wear black, you get a badass red lightsaber, chicks want you, and you don't have to take shit from anyone.
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Could I choose "all of them"?
And get a video of it?
Best comment under original article (Score:2, Funny)
His mom took it.
She said it was time to grow up, if you were old enough to drink in a bar, you are old enough to take care of your toys.
She sold it at a yard sale for $3. The guy who bought it said he was going to take the batteries out and throw the rest away.
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Uhoh, someone's pissed that his mom told him Santa ain't real...
Whew. (Score:1)
Which saber, again? (Score:2)
On the website, there's a picture of the item in question, but I'm not convinced that's the light saber he's looking for.
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The second link, third picture apparently. Also, it looks like he has a picture of the thief, but the police wouldn't bother over $400. Unless it was an iPhone prototype at least...
/. Idle? (Score:2)
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Wanker (Score:1)
A true Jedi never leaves his weapon lying about to be stolen, you shall be slashdotted for this.
nek minnit (Score:1)
As Lily Tomlin said... (Score:2)
New York is always knowing where your light saber is.
This happened to me before (Score:5, Funny)
I had a fight with my dad, and it got pretty heated. He ended up cutting off my hand, and I dropped it. I felt really shafted. It was a traumatic experience for me. It worked out in the end, as it turned out it was his lightsaber anyway, and I built my own shortly thereafter. I also got a new hand (you can't really build a lightsaber with just one hand -- I should know!)
--Luke S.
Just post the PERPS picture - Slash-dot him (Score:2)
Then everywhere he goes everyone will know him for what his A dirty scummy THIEF!!!
Trust once he has been slash-dotted he will never do it again.
Imperial minutes? (Score:3)
Question: is an imperial minute longer or shorter than a parsec?
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Question: is an imperial minute longer or shorter than a parsec?
Yes.
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Is a foot longer than a minute? Parsecs measure distance.
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I've already seen it a number of times; how about you just tell me what I'm supposed to be laughing at instead.
in the immortal words of darth vader... (Score:2)
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"
as a side note, apparently this comment violated the "postercomment" compression filter and i should try less whitespace and/or less repetition. knowledge is power!
No! A unwatched valuable item gets stolen?!? (Score:2, Insightful)
Seriously. You valued this item enough that you had it custom made for yourself, your livelihood as a stage performer depends on it, and to some degree it represents some of your identity (being able to call yourself a Jedi, for example). Obviously this item is important. Yet you left this valuable, important item go unwatched "for a few minutes" in a NYC bar. Imagine that, something valuable disappearing in NYC *and* a bar. What are the chances?
I do not understand why you would bring such a valuable item t
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Get off your high horse. A lot of more valuable [npr.org] things get forgotten or stolen.
No one WANTS it to happen, but it does. To all of us.
Frankly, I'm trying to figure out why this has put such a bee in your bonnet. So he publicizes it to try to get his saber back. How does that hurt you?
Using the force (Score:2)
Reporting a $400 lightsaber theft nets the troupe $10,000 in free publicity--a simple jedi mind trick that only works on the weak-minded consumers of media. Oh, wait a second...
Could be an honest mistake... (Score:3)
Chances are someone there just had an identical one and walked off with it by mistake. I mean, doesn't everyone have a lightsaber nowadays?
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Identical? A true Jedi builds his own Light Saber, how could there possibly be an identical one?
Clearly a Jedi Master .. (Score:2)
Farce (Score:2)
Works for marketing. (Score:2)
At least this way his 'school' got slashdotted.
You Jedi are all alike (Score:2)
Lightsaber builders usually piss me off. Not because of their wonton nerdishness, that I can deal with, and not really this guy in particular because the handle looks to be custom lathed, but the ones who scour eBay for perfectly good Speed Graphic strobes and destroy them by turning them in to props.
Yeah, I get that the original was made from Speed Graphic parts, but god damn kids, those are rare enough today without every Gishlain, Dick, and Harry trying to snap them up for re-purposing. Leave the origina
Re:Swords (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Swords (Score:5, Funny)
I find your lack of faith... disturbing.
Re:Swords (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah? Well I think you should go suck... hrrk.... ngnhhh... ugyh.... (thud!)
Re:Swords (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Swords (Score:5, Informative)
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And to be fair, thanks to the expanded universe there are 7 different forms of Lightsaber combat [wikia.com] based on real-world sword-based martial arts. One form of Lightsaber combat is as different from another as European fencing is as different from Kendo.
The most readily apparent example is Obi-Wan (who uses a style similar to Chinese straight sword arts) versus Dooku (who uses a European fencing sort of style, cape and all).
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And Yoda who uses "anime action hero FUCK PHYSICS" style.
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And Yoda who uses "anime action hero FUCK PHYSICS" style.
Let's not forget this droid-wannabe [wikia.com]. He could, uh, spin his lightsaber "collection" really fast...
Oblig. Plinkett [redlettermedia.com].
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Watch Tartakovsky's Clone Wars miniseries. It's better than the prequels and you get to see Grievous fighting like a badass instead of flailing his swords threateningly just minutes before he's killed.
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Which makes the sword fighting ridiculous very soon. In real sword fighting you are not aiming for the sword, you are aiming to kill your opponent in a single strike. One not blocked strike and you are out. There is no reason that this should be different in light saber arts.
Maybe they try to prevent damage to their custom weapons...well... it all depends on The Force,,,,
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Blocking the opponent's weapon becomes much more important when they're just as likely to kill or seriously maim you if you first hit doesn't kill them outright.
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"and you can't really choke people from a distance."
I see you've never smelled one of "those" farts.
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> Who steals somebody’s lightsaber?
Probably his business partner so that they could get a PR piece in the media.
Its a PR stunt then?
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is that this dude thinks he is a Jedi Master. Also, a New Yorker who leaves valuables unguarded? Not to diss the Big Apple, I wouldn't try this in any city, well, anywhere!
The thief is the bigger wanker to be clear. However our intrepid "Jedi Master" acts like a naive kid from Tatooine.
Dont be dissing any Apples here.
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I have mod points, but i can't decide whether to mod funny or flamebait. Guess i'll leave this comment instead.
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Someone just modified a gaudy beer keg tap and sold it to this sucker for extra cash.