Teens Share Passwords As a Form of Intimacy 533
nonprofiteer writes "The New York Times claims that the hot new trend among teenagers in love is to share passwords to their email and Facebook accounts, as the ultimate form of trust. According to Pew, 33% of teens surveyed say they do this. One expert says the pressure to share passwords is akin to the pressure to have sex. Forbes says don't do it! 'There is something pure and romantic about the idea of sharing everything, and having no secrets from one another. But it's romantic the same way that Romeo and Juliet is romantic, in a tragic, horrible, everyone-is-miserable-and-dies-at-the-end kind of way.' Sam Biddle at Gizmodo writes about which passwords are okay to share (like Netflix), but says to stay away from handing over email or Facebook passwords. 'We all need whatever scraps of privacy we have left, and your email is just that.'"
You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Funny)
You're just a jealous bitch, mom! You don't understand that Daniel and me are going to last FOREVER!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Funny)
"Honey, he just wants to sleep with you to get your password. Just give him a blow job and leave him. That'll show him!"
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:4, Funny)
Clearly her password is "omgi3>daniel"
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Insightful)
Two coming of age talks:
1. The birds and the bees.
2. Internet security.
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Funny)
OK, you're 14 now, it is time for us to talk about a few things. If you have sex with someone, use a condom, and make sure you do not sign their public key unless you really trust them.
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Funny)
OK, you're 14 now, it is time for us to talk about a few things. If you have sex with someone, use a condom, and make sure you do not sign their public key unless you really trust them.
Why does this sound like an XKCD comic?
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Informative)
http://xkcd.com/364/
Re: (Score:3)
Based on trends you may want to do it next year.
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:You don't understand, I LOVE HIM!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Just let her browse internet porn on an unpatched version of Windows XP so you won't have to say a word. And remember: the best kind of parenting is lazy parenting.
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Real simple solution for this solution. Invite Daniel over for dinner. Begin peppering Daniel and your daughter about wedding plans and telling him how much you'll love having him in the family. They'll be split up in two weeks tops.
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(It also allows them to express their individuality... just like all of their other friends...)
Netflix (Score:5, Interesting)
Wait, it's okay to share your Netflix password...?
I can think of at least three reasons why that's a bad idea.
Not in dipshit Tennenesse! (Score:5, Informative)
It's a serious crime in TN! Don't get caught, lovers!
Re: (Score:3)
Wait, it's okay to share your Netflix password...?
I can think of at least three reasons why that's a bad idea.
Busty Trannies 1 (aka Dude looks like a lady)
Busty Trannies 2 (aka This time she's hung)
Busty Trannies 3 (aka The lady gets his man)
Re: (Score:3)
Yeah, and unnecessary. What is the positive here?
Whooo! Who put that movie in my queue?
For the Lulz, of course...
Re:Netflix (Score:4, Insightful)
There is no real positive here. This is just like sending naked photos of yourself to your bf/gf. It makes no damn sense to *give* someone blackmail material on you that can be copied easily and posted for the whole world to see if they get pissed at you. They do it because there is the short term feeling of trust shared between them, but with no conception of the long term consequences involved. In a way it's like the Romeo and Juliet syndrome: even though we have never had another relationship, we know we are perfect for one another, so you're not allowed to take any precautions, because otherwise it means you don't actually love me. You have to go whatever extreme I do, because we are in True Love, whether that be giving away passwords or committing suicide.
tl;dr: Teens think because they know more than babies do that they know everything. They haven't got a clue.
Re:Netflix (Score:5, Insightful)
Everyone thinks they know everything except geniuses.
Geniuses don't think they know everything.... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Geniuses don't think they know everything.... (Score:5, Funny)
However, this comes from a man who's last words were "I drank what?!"
Re:Netflix (Score:5, Insightful)
There is no real positive here. This is just like sending naked photos of yourself to your bf/gf. It makes no damn sense to *give* someone blackmail material on you that can be copied easily and posted for the whole world to see if they get pissed at you.
You can't think of a single positive benefit of getting your partner sexually aroused looking at you? You don't think there's any relationship saved, intensified or even started by receiving or having erotic pictures of your partner? Long-distance relationships, temporary absences, love letters with a picture saying more than a thousand words? People have done that since the 19th century you know, shortly since they invented photography. Okay be the cynic and say the benefits don't outweigh the risks, particularly now that it can go all over the Internet but you'd be pretty blind to not see how it could help in courting women.
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I've seen this before. People share their Netflix passwords so they can leave it logged in at their S.O.'s house and they can have one account that they both share, to save money and watch movies together wherever they happen to wind up. It's usually someone's parents' account, too. Meh, I don't think it's a great idea, but there's your answer.
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Last I checked (before the Flixter debacle, for reference), sub-accounts were only allowed to manage the queue but not stream. Has that changed?
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As any good academic, I left it as an exercise for the reader.
But since you asked so nicely:
1) It could be considered illegal streaming by Obama, or at the minimum, a breach of the Netflix TOS to give away your account password.
2) Your "Recently Watched" queue might get you in trouble, depending on your SO. There's some pretty hot movies on Netflix, such as Room in Rome, which is basically two naked women chatting and making out for 1.5 hours. I thought it was well-acted. My wife didn't.
3) If you are a pers
Teens do a lot of dumb stuff. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Teens do a lot of dumb stuff. (Score:5, Informative)
It isnt expunged when you turn 18. It is sealed but still exists and can be accessed depending on the circumstance.
Re:Teens do a lot of dumb stuff. (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Teens do a lot of dumb stuff. (Score:5, Funny)
Teens do a lot of dumb stuff
Yeah but there is a difference between normal teen stuff like having unprotected sex and stuff that can cause serious harm in their later life like sharing passwords.
Re:Teens do a lot of dumb stuff. (Score:5, Insightful)
What stops you from changing password upon break-up?
What stops you is the other person logging in and changing your password before you can.
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You give them password to the account. Not the email's password. Like the xkcd goes, "at least I didn't give her the root password".
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o <----- joke
empty
space
here
o <----- you
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I was an out cast partially because I had an Internet account of my own, with Email. When I explained why I liked it they just looked at me if I was from outer space.
Oddly enough By my Sr. Year things started to change and the Internet stated
Re:Teens do a lot of dumb stuff. (Score:5, Funny)
When I was a Teen, and I shared my Password as a form of intimacy I would have gotten a response at best "Your such a Nerd!" (Back then a Nerd wasn't good)
Yeah. Offering Sysop access to my dialup BBS never got me laid.
Re: (Score:3)
Then you were offering it to the wrong girls. ;)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Yea, might have worked with the right guys.
Forbes says don't do it! (Score:3)
Yes, thanks Forbes. I'm sure all five of your teen readers will heed your sage advice
Re:Forbes says don't do it! (Score:5, Insightful)
Teens that read Forbes probably have neither the time nor the ability to forge an intimate enough relationship in the first place
TOS (Score:3, Insightful)
Plus it's usually a thundering Terms of Service violation.
Re:TOS (Score:5, Insightful)
XKCD (Score:5, Funny)
XKCD covered this years ago http://xkcd.com/215/
Re:XKCD (Score:5, Informative)
you realize there is additional text when you hover the mouse over the picture right?
Re:XKCD (Score:5, Insightful)
I can't remember my husband's passwords (Score:5, Interesting)
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Re:I can't remember my husband's passwords (Score:4, Insightful)
Why did you exchange passwords in the first place? There's never a good reason to share passwords. If it ever seems like a good idea to share a password, that's a symptom of a poorly developed user permissions system.
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Maybe because they're married? My wife and I share a lot of our passwords. iTunes, so that we only have to worry about one account... Banking, so that we can both access the account to pay bills, transfer funds, etc. Unless you're one of those couples (like one of our couple-friends) who keeps their money separate, you almost *have* to share passwords on some accounts.
For teens, or unmarried dating adults, I don't see much of a case though.
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How could a long string of words and symbols be hard to remember? I mean, most of us here are like your husband, but what kind of string are you talking about? What's an example?
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
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WTF? Really?
Re:I can't remember my husband's passwords (Score:4, Insightful)
She's married, asshole. And if she weren't, I'm sure she didn't come to Slashdot to be facetiously and pseudonymously hit on.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Why not? People certainly don't come here for the deep, unique, insightful commentary or the thoughtful and understanding replies. Sure, perhaps in Soviet Russia ... but not here, where all things exist in moderation. :-)
Re:I can't remember my husband's passwords (Score:5, Funny)
My gallantry is bigger.
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Or maybe they clicked on your nickname and saw your email. As far as I know, there are few females called "eric".
Luggage combination. (Score:3, Funny)
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hunter2
Can we just encourage old vices instead? (Score:5, Funny)
I'd much rather my kids be having sex than sharing passwords.
Re:Can we just encourage old vices instead? (Score:4, Funny)
What, between themselves? :)
PERV!
Remeber kids, stay safe and legal! (Score:5, Interesting)
Remember kiddies, using your ex-boyfriend's social networking password can be a felony!
Heck, even using your current boyfriend's passwords with his permission may be a felony in certain circumstances, especially if a financial transaction, medical-history-information, or intentional deception of anyone is involved.
Re: (Score:3)
The money you deposit to a bank is no longer yours, you're now an unsecured creditor.
Actually, in the USA deposits are 100% insured up to $250,000, so you're in no way an unsecured creditor.
How stupid (Score:4, Insightful)
And in other news...divorce [divorcerate.org] continues skyrocketing,
Seriously kids, realize that your significant other can lock you out of your own accounts on breakup, and you can't recover everything via your phone #, pretty sure like... netflix, email providers that aren't google.
Re:How stupid (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:How stupid (Score:4, Insightful)
Yeah, you don't want to be in family court and have a penis. It's not going to work out well for you.
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Years ago, a girl I loved dumped me after 7 years of relationship and a few months later, her sister's ex-boyfriend contacted me and gave me her e-mail address password.
Reading her e-mails was... informative. I found out that she'd been cheating on me and her other boyfriend with some other men (complicated, I know!), and other nice things related to her present job. She and her sister shared lots of... amazing things in e-mail exchanges.
It was an informative reading because it basically opened a somewhat s
Mistake in the summary (Score:5, Insightful)
'We all need an illusion of whatever scraps of privacy we have left, and your email is just that.'"
Because we sure as hell don't have any privacy left anymore.
Sounds ripe for emotional abuse (Score:4, Insightful)
Giving your significant other power over your socialization and friendships on this level just seems like it is going to give even more power to those who abusively control the other partner in their relationships. Not to mention the wonders that will occur if you break up with someone and don't change your password before they upload not-so-flattering pictures and send them to all your friends.
Children acting childish... (Score:5, Insightful)
Moreover, it's more a manifestation of a lack of trust. I don't care that I don't know my girlfriend's Facebook password... because I trust her. The only boyfriends/girlfriends who want each other's passwords are those who don't trust each other: they want to check up on what the other one is posting/saying. They don't trust them enough to let them have privacy or private conversations. I've seen this happen (my sister once had a jealous boyfriend who thought she was cheating on him and thus demanded access to her email and Facebook passwords so that he could check for himself... the relationship did not last).
Overall, this whole "if you loved me you'd give me your password" is infantile. The appropriate response is: "If you respected me you wouldn't ask for it."
Re:Children acting childish... (Score:5, Insightful)
The problem there is you just posited a perfectly reasonable adult argument.
Teenager brains don't (typically) work that way. There still viewing the world through a flood of hormones and lack of experience.
In the perfect world, we would come up with a system to allow the teenager brain to interact with the real world without too many bad outcomes.
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Children acting childish... (Score:5, Insightful)
That would be the difference between A asking B for their password, and B offering A their password. The first instance is a sign of distrust. The second is a sign of trust.
No, the second is a sign of a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of healthy human relationships, trust, and individuality. It is pure co-dependence. It's a form of emotional hedging which leads to emotional blackmail -- "I gave you my PASSWORDS! How can you DO this to me!"
It's kids being naive stupid fucks, that's all.
I used to keep two very big secrets from my wife. Those secrets put a terrible strain on our relationship. Eventually, I came out with it, I was met with understanding and forgiveness, and our relationship improved tremendously. I now hold no secrets from my wife, but I sure as hell do not give her my passwords nor does she give me mine. It has nothing to do with trust, it is about PRIVACY. If she wants to know something about me she can always ASK ME.
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Stop being so cynical. I gave my GF my Facebook password because it felt good that I can trust her with it and vice versa.
When you get married, you share finances which requires a lot more trust than any Facebook account. I know some couples who share email accounts too just out of convenience.
If I am so worried about someone using Facebook to blackmail me, I would just change the password ahead of time. It's really no big deal.
At least..... (Score:5, Funny)
At least you can change the password... pretty hard to return virginity.
Might as well. (Score:3)
If the Feds have access to it, you might as well give your girlfriend access. At least that leaves nothing for the Feds to blackmail you with.
My ex wanted this. (Score:5, Insightful)
She wanted to monitor my email and everything. Very nosy. I refused and she bitched about not trusting me. Turns out she was a cheating whore and just assumed that I had to be getting some on the side as well. She needed to verify because she could not trust because she was herself untrustworthy and insecure about it. Sharing passwords does not show trust, it shows lack of trust.
Re:My ex wanted this. (Score:5, Insightful)
I have learned this same lesson but not quite as painfully.
A thief thinks everyone else steals.
A manipulator thinks everyone else manipulates.
An adulterer thinks everyone else cheats.
I'm sure the reason is part rationalization, part acting out whatever misbehavior caused them to develop those harmful habits.
Thanks for the spoilers warning (Score:3)
I was planning on reading Romeo and Juliet this winter.
Now it looks like I don't have to.
Assholes.
By the way, Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father, and Bruce Willis was dead for the whole movie.
Re:Thanks for the spoilers warning (Score:5, Funny)
Damnit, I was planning on watching Die Hard this weekend.
Now it looks like I don't have to.
Jerk.
One more learning experience (Score:4, Insightful)
my wife and I do this (Score:5, Funny)
My wife and I do this. I keep her passwords on a sheet of paper in the safe. She reads mine before going to bed every night (I believe she's on chapter 2, "Routers and Switches").
Spouses (Score:4, Interesting)
But the spousal relationship is unique, ethically and legally. I wouldn't normally do that with any other person except as an exception, and I would change passwords afterwards.
Teenagers are dumb. (Score:4, Insightful)
My wife manages a teen drop-in center. Oh, the crap I hear about... Anyway, their relationships average about a week, and their definition of "trust" is "stay away from the opposite sex or I will go publicly and aggressively crazy." This illustrates a need for classes about how to avoid codependency and what abuse and manipulation in a relationship looks like. But all the middle and high schools are almost solely focused on studying their students up for the standardized tests, so once again, thank Bush for fucking up society.
breach of trust - with the other correspondent (Score:4, Insightful)
You "trusting" your partner with your password because you do not mind sharing what you say is one thing. I'd suggest it's unwise, it's highly prone to misunderstandings and perhaps more an indication of lack of trust than actual trust (where sharing the password wouldn't be necessary). But, that's your prerogative.
But the thing is you're now breaching your trust with the people emailing you. You're sharing what THEY say, and you haven't even had the opportunity to make a judgement first.
Actually I'd say breaching your trust with others is about all you're doing. You know that you have given your partner access, so you're not going to write anything you would not want them to read. But other people emailing you do not necessarily know that, they think their correspondence is private. At an absolute minimum people trust you to use your judgement before you share their information with your partner.
OMG DON'T DO IT! (Score:3)
Holy crap teens want to do something to establish intimacy! WHATEVER IT IS IT MUST STOP!!!1!
For realz all of my account password resets point at my email account! Like banking! And billpay! And paypal! And my credit cards! These teens are setting themselves up to ruin their HUGE and HIGHLY INVOLVED financial structures that they don't have.
Whatevs. TFA has no actual criticism other than your messy breakup might be messy. Whoa drama in teen romance LOOK OUT.
If sharing passwords creates the intimacy and allows teens to forgo ACTUALLY DANGEROUS behavior then go for it. Beats the hell out of getting a tattoo. Just change your password when you break up. Before your SO changes it out from under you...
It takes seconds to create a new email account (Score:3)
Sharing email account passwords isn't nearly as big a deal as people here seem to think.
And I find the hostility to the idea of expressing trust and intimacy rather unsettling.
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It takes seconds to create a new email account
And years to get all your contacts to use it.
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And we're talking about teenagers, who've probably had an email account for only a few years at most, and generally don't have lists of business contacts.
Passwords are like underwear (Score:3, Interesting)
Passwords are, it is said, like underwear.
http://www.umflint.edu/its/units/initiatives/publicity/password.htm [umflint.edu]
If you are willing to share your underwear with a partner, why not your password?
In my case, I was dating a woman who had been cheated on and had trust issues. I made sure she had access to my email and a tracking location on my phone. She says she never checked up on me, but I hope the gesture was appreciated.
No! Bad Teenagers! (Score:4, Funny)
Change password? Problem Solved? (Score:3)
I know, I know, TFA was more about the "dangers" of letting your significant other know all your secrets. I reject this too, I don't have any secrets. My friends and family can ask anything and I'll give an honest answer. 99% of the problems in this world come from people trying to defend their own ego and self-image, when you should really just accept that you are who you are and that is fine, people make mistakes, and we are each the result of our environments.
Unsafe passwords anyone? (Score:3)
Re:Savages (Score:5, Funny)
"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
Ayn Rand
Sounds like that woman had a lot of issues. Hope everything worked out for her.
Re:Savages (Score:4, Interesting)
Ayn Rand was right when she said that eventually, the people who are productive will abandon the masses who rely upon them. Only mistake she made was, it's the capitalists with their silly green tickets who are going to be abandoned.
Re:Savages (Score:4, Insightful)
"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." Ayn Rand
Ah yes because every man is an island unto himself, no? A tribe does not need privacy because everybody in the tribe depends on each other for survival, you can't depend on those you don't trust, you can't trust those you do not know, you cannot know those who are private.
Civilization only requires privacy because there are far too many people to know meaning you can only trust and depend on very few people. What is more fundamentally human? We evolved to live and survive in tribes not cities, how many feel at place and purposeful in society as compared to those who live in tribes? Do you really feel that Rand was a happy fulfilled person?
We can decry the actions of these teens as stupid, naive and foolish and we would probably be correct, but consider that the things a teenager most desires above all else is autonomy, purpose, and belonging. Sharing is a primal instinct that we instinctually do and emotionally require to feel close and secure to others. Civilization is a cold bitch, and it is hard to feel like an accepted member, much easier with a clique of friends that you wish to share everything with.
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but consider that the things a teenager most desires
Why did you give her your password? Boobies and vagina.
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At first it seems like a brilliant quote, then you see who said it and realize that it's only brilliant when taken out of the original context :-(
Re:Email is private? (Score:4, Insightful)
The fact is that there are social conventions afoot: for example that my friends don't bug their houses and that my employer hasn't installed secret cameras (some of these conventions are in fact backed-up by laws). As such, even though someone ~could~ intercept my communication, it is presumptively private and people who circumvented that would be accused of violating my privacy.
Similarly with networks. It's certainly possible for my friend to keylog their computer, or make copies of all traffic that passes through their router. But most sensible people would assume that this is not happening, and that doing so would be an invasion of the privacy of others.
So, email is private. That doesn't mean it's un-interceptable (neither is postal mail: it's trivial to grab someone else's mail and read it). But those who intercept it are violating privacy. (Of course if privacy is important to you, then you should take extra steps (e.g. encryption). But communications that you target towards a specific person are presumptively private.)
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people who actually have a right and a need to know those information
Whoawhoawhoawhoawhoa. Whoa.
Exactly what the hell are you saying?
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What I loved is when some dumb kid put down MY e-mail address when creating his MySpace account, and I started getting his messages. All I needed to do was click the "I forgot my password" link and enter my e-mail address to change the password on his... er.. my account.
I wonder if his friends enjoyed the messages I sent them as much as the spam his friends sent me :)