Australia Creates Cyberwarfare Unit 60
An anonymous reader writes "Australia's Federal Government computer emergency response team and other spy agencies are teaming up to create a cyberspooks unit to counter threats from other countries, the nation's chief lawmaker said last night. In a speech referencing Stuxnet and GhostNet, Attorney-General Robert McClelland said the unit would protect sensitive Australian Government and business information from espionage by the nation's foes. Recently new powers were handed to spymasters to deal with the enhanced security threat that the Greens party said were 'excessive.'"
English, motherfucker! Do you speak it? (Score:1)
Recently new powers were handed spymasters to deal with the enhanced security threat that the Greens party said were 'excessive.'"
Because when the Greens party says an enhanced security threat is excessive, you know the new powers won't be able to deal with it unless we hand them spymasters!
(Is a apymaster kinda like a viewmaster, you know, those old stereoscope-wheel gadgets?)
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Recently new powers were handed spymasters to deal with the enhanced security threat that the Greens party said were 'excessive.'"
Because when the Greens party says an enhanced security threat is excessive, you know the new powers won't be able to deal with it unless we hand them spymasters!
(Is a apymaster kinda like a viewmaster, you know, those old stereoscope-wheel gadgets?)
I was handed a new spymaster; it's much better than my old one and I am now comfortable in knowing that I am a new power. My old spymaster only took 35mm film -- with this new one I can gaze into a fictional world with such clarity and definition that you'd think it was real.
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I should also note that recently I've taken up the habit of wearing my panties and bra on the outside of my clothing, so my "new power" status is unsurprising even though I am a male. I also agree with the Greens that the enhanced security threat are excessive.
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This in a thread titled "English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?" - Irony, thou art a merciless bitch!
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Ruh-roh... (Score:1)
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Ya know our Republicans won't be able to stand for being outdone by the Aussies in developing methods to control the flow of information over the Internet...
Langley, Virginia,
October 23, 2013.
Office of the newly formed American Cyberwarfare Unit.
Spymaster: Well gentlemen, to help in the formation of this new unit, we've asked some of our allies to share their knowledge. / points to heavy set man in shadows.
Spymaster: Special Agent Bruce of Orstralya.
/ man in wearing a blue singlet, acrubra hat and blue jeans walks into the light, in his right hand he's holding a can of beer.
Agent Bruce: G'day Yanks, yer government has asked me here to talk about ya new
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OK. (Score:4, Funny)
Those darn Kiwis.
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So that would be a cyberdefence unit, not a cyberwarfare unit or in this case as clearly delineated a cybersecurity unit. Whereas other country have been hyping attack, clearly the message was one of defence and providing computer security related expertise and investigation resources to state based police forces.
By definition that would make the Australia computer security team opposition to the US security team who wish to exploit security gaps to attack other countries rather than just being focused o
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Defence is one facet of warfare, they aren't mutually exclusive. Do you think you're Noam Chomsky or something?
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"the unit would protect sensitive Australian Government and business information from espionage by the nation's foes." Those darn Kiwis.
We had to do something, our usually top notch Cricket team has been an abysmal failure of late... Lets not even mention the rugby team (3 blokes trying to push two blokes up one blokes arse).
Hat image (Score:2)
Just so we're clear:
Is the hat going to be the image for all Australia stories, whether they be about encryption, M$, Telus, the National Broadband initiative, kangaroos, etc.?
Does any other country get the same treatment?
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Is it an Akubra? I always thought it looked more like one of R.M.Williams' leather hats.
In other news, my Dad and I are on a mission to lose at least one Akubra in every major international airport. So far we've hit Frankfurt, Dubai and Dallas. Any help would be appreciated.
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I've complained about that image before. But I got cut down: everyone just told me I was being overly sensitive.
But seriously. Other countries don't seem to get that treatment. The image is ludicrously stereotyped. And frankly, to an Australian, it seems a rather bizarre choice: yes the Akubra is an iconic piece of Australiana associated with those living on the land and our pioneer forebears, but it's not the ~first~ (or second or even tenth) thing that springs to mind if you're going to pick a stereotyped
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I take it as an opportunity to laugh at how silly the yanks are.
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Their main role will be to have sockpuppets on all the major news and social networking sites. When a big Rugby\Cricket match is coming up between Australia and England, Australia and New Zealand, Australia and South Africa, Australia and Wales...... they can spam the sites talking us up.
Foreign powers aren't the problem (Score:5, Insightful)
Robert McClelland's problem isn't countering cyber-threats from other countries.
His office has trouble understanding cyber-threats from other countries.
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*UGH* How pitifully hysterical (Score:3, Informative)
Bunch of school girls jumping up on their chairs when they see a mouse. If they could only see themselves.
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While political entities are not free of common human foibles, it is generally safer to view them as actors value-rationally emulating the set of outputs that is most likely to get them what they want, rather than assume that their outputs actually correlate with their internal states...
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Yes, the politicians are the clever ones. Actually it's the voters playing the part of the school girls as they fall for every trick in the book. Exactly the desired effect...
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I'm creating a cyberwarfare unit too! If anyone wants to join, you get to pick your own cool "handle". Please respond with your name and favorite pizza toppings.
Can I be Neo, please? And the toppings are chilli con carne, spicy pork and extra garlic and jalapenos. (I prefer to work alone, BTW).
First Proposal: (Score:2)
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His ideas on racial equality, education for everyone, an end to poverty, an end to war and apartheid protests got ASIO very interested.
As 'friends' they sat in on his meetings about organic gardening and took lots of notes.
Legal reforms might have exposed some of this in the 1990's, but I guess they want their powers back.
Expect many more local sneak and peek options and strange comput
The road to fascism (Score:1)
Looks like the framework is being pout place to make sure we all remain loyal to the Australian government (and the financial interests it serves), or else.
If the reader thinks we are really under threat from terrorists look up "false flag operations". Do these people sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting for terrorists give them the chance to introduce this type of legislation?
Grammar and Yanks... (Score:1, Flamebait)
and when you lot say "you could care less"; it's completely wrong... just parse the sentence folks... it should really be "you couldn't care less" as in you already care very little about something and it isn't possible to care any less...
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I'm pretty sure in America, a child would come home and say "I went to school today". They don't say "I went to THE school today".
Yet Americans say "the hospital" and "the university"! The latter is particularly weird since a university is an educational institution just like a school is!
Two points:
1. In the case of schools, hospitals and universities, there are more than one. Saying 'the' implies that there is only one.
2. Regardless of whichever is grammatically 'correct', at least the UK/Australia/NZ/etc
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Be kind to folk from the US. Their dialect of English broke away from the mainstream a long time ago, and they have kept many forms and regional linguistic quirks from the time of their first settlement by English-speaking people. We in the south (AU/NZ) have kept closer to conventional English, despite colourful usage and NZ vowel shifts...
Awsome! Cybernetic soldiers! (Score:2)
Would the Cyberwarfare Unit be equipped with cybernetic limbs, eyes and be able to jack in to the 'net?
Or should it really be called an Internet Warfare Unit, that employs non-cyborgs to protect and attack over the internet?
Terra my arse (Score:2)
This group will play a valuable role in ensuring that Australians get all the censorship they could ever want. May not be setup with that intention, but it's difficult to imagine the Australian government doing something that is entirely unrelated to censorship.
Yep! (Score:1)
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A video on why "cyberwarfare" is bullshit (Score:1)
http://vimeo.com/3519680 [vimeo.com]
It's about an hour long for anyone who's interested.
TL;DW version: no country is going to waste time developing attacks and trying to coordinate with physical attacks when they can be disarmed by Microsoft releasing a patch. Besides, if you want something DoS'd, it's much easier to just blow it up; that way the admins can't just reboot or restore the damn thing and have it up again within minutes. Most importantly, even if you've managed to cripple a country's networks -- includi
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Well of course cyberwar would be accompanied by brutal, physical meatspacewar. The two would go hand-in-hand. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss cyberwarfare when basically all of our modern systems and infrastructure depend on computers and the Internet.
There's a quite a number of countries that have been practising and executing cyberwarfare for years. They just deny that they do it.
Digital Rabbit-proof fence? (Score:2)
What else can you expect from the geniuses that proposed the national evil filter...