HP and Yahoo To Spam Your Printer 397
An anonymous reader writes "As many suspected when HP announced its web-connected printer, it didn't take long for the company to announce it will send 'targeted' advertisements to your new printer. So you'll get spammed, and you'll pay for the ink to print it. On the bright side, the FCC forbids unsolicited fax ads, so this will probably get HP on a collision course with the Feds."
The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
...is a coupon for ink.
Re:Dont Know (Score:5, Funny)
Tray 3? (Score:5, Funny)
You think if they started advertising for penis enlargement that they'd start going for my 11x17 tray just to prove a point/overcompensate?
Re:Spammers will LOVE this (Score:2, Funny)
I don't think this is what you have in mind, but I am reminded of an occasion on a British Snail train in the early '80s, when a hung-over colleague vomited noisily and copiously into a stockbroker's briefcase. Way to make yourself popular...
Re:The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
Is that the one with the paperless restroom stalls? Guess that's what the iPad is good for.
Re:The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
You insensitive clod! I use my printer to get hard copy of pr0n before I fap. It cuts down on the amount of screen wipes I go through in a month.
Re:The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
I've still got dickloads of toner
That doesn't sound like very much.
Re:The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
The first planned spam is a coupon for ink.
And not just any coupon for ink. It'll be an 8x10 solid black rectangle -- overprinted with cyan, magenta, and yellow, of course -- with a tiny paragraph in white letters praising the deep, rich blacks the printer is capable of producing. To get to the actual coupon, which will be on the second page, you'll have to buy fresh ink cartridges so the document can finish printing. Naturally, the coupon will also be small and composed of white text on another 8x10 overprinted black rectangle, along with a second promotional message extolling the printer's ability to reliably churn out image after image.
If anyone from the HP marketing department is reading this, I'm available for any openings you might have. Just give me the address of your web-accessible printer, and I'll send you my resume. In eight inch high Helvetica UltraBlack, one letter per page. As a token of my sincerity. You'd better include a fax number, too, just in case you run out of ink.
There are some things you need paper for... (Score:5, Funny)
there is not a single thing that REQUIRES paper in todays age.
A paper aeroplane? Try that with your laptop you'll have to get a new one.
Re:The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, but you can usually extend it if you shake the cartridge.
Re:So let me get this straight .... (Score:4, Funny)
and put the little paper wasting fucker through the wall.
In my house you won't put a printer to any wall. Most are made of real bricks. And even the few light walls are made plywood tougher then a printer casing.
Re:The first planned spam... (Score:5, Funny)
there is not a single thing that REQUIRES paper in todays age.
But i don't know how the use the shells! How am i going to take a crap now?
Re:Spammers will LOVE this (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Dont Know (Score:4, Funny)
Or, you know, you actually pay thousands of dollars minimum to fight it in court, all the while HP is bleeding you dry through court costs and still continuing to spam your printer.