Verizon Defends Doubling of Early Termination Fee 319
I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Verizon is defending its decision to double its Early Termination Fee from $175 to $350 after being called to account by the FCC. They claim it's because the higher fees allow them to offer more expensive phones with a lower up-front cost (PDF), and they also say that because they pro-rate the fee depending on how much of your contract is left, they still lose money. Apparently doing something about the Verizon customer service horror stories isn't as good a way to retain customers as telling them that they have to pay several hundred dollars to leave."
Crippling Early Termination Fee (Score:5, Funny)
Verizon CEO: No matter, every customer signed a contract with more words than the US Constitution which means they either didn't or are unable read it. In that contract, we reserve the right to increase our crippling early termination fee. So we'll juice that up to lock in size and by the time most customers can leave, we'll have an answer to your latest model.
Verizon Shareholder: I approve.
Verizon Customer: Why does my ass hurt?
Re:Customer care (Score:5, Funny)
Verizon will go any lengths to protect their customers, even if it means killing them.
"This is an automated message notifying you that on the ... two five of ... November of ... 2009 your husband did conspire to change carriers with willful and malicious intent. Regarding this matter, he has been terminated in order to assure you continuous service. We apologize if you experienced any problems with your service during this technical adjustment. You will receive an invoice shortly for the professional handling of your husband and his disposal. Please remit payment by the end of ... December of ... 2009 to avoid further late charges and fees. To return to the main menu please press star, to talk to a Verizon funeral representative please stay on the line ... "
Re:Careful, they're going to covertly sign you up (Score:1, Funny)