Feds Propose National Database of College Students

Dore writes "The Department of Education wants to collect personally identifiable information on all college students, including name, address, birth date, gender, race, and SSN. Privacy is assured. The No Child Left Behind Act, which holds primary and secondary schools accountable prompted this line of thinking. Now colleges should be held accountable. If you made it to college, you were not left behind, and further attempts at monitoring citizens should be."

... Now that Napster is Gone

[Crispin Cowan]

Now that Napster (the good one :) is gone, they need a way to track college students again :)

Crispin

renamed

[jrap]

No Child's Personal Information Left Behind

What?

[Oxy the moron]

The US federal government has proposed creating a national database to track people?? STOP THE PRESSES!!

I mean, really... do we NEED to track every little thing someone does? How about a national database for tracking when everyone uses the restroom. We could put little sensors on all toilets to track how often they're flushed!

Good thing the Republicans are in charge

[Anonymous Coward]

See! With the Republicans in charge, we can be positive that States and Localities will gain strength and that the federal government's power is limite....oh, wait. Never mind.

Huh?

[Civil_Disobedient]

If you made it to college, you were not left behind, and further attempts at monitoring citizens should be.

Does this sentence make sense to anyone else around here? Or rather...

This sentence make sense to anyone else around here does?

Fine...

[spidereyes]

As long as

1. It's searchable by name, location, major and gender
2. It includes pictures
3. You can rate each person

zerg

[Lord Omlette]

It makes sense, when you think about it. How many people who voted for Bush could possibly be affected by this scheme?

Re:What?

[Anonymous Coward]

Cool! Can we embed rfid tags in everyone's ass to identify them too?

Re:What?

[bluprint]

How about a national database to track everytime someone's information is tracked. Oh, and we'll need one to track every time someone tracks someone who is tracking someone. I think that should cover it.

Re:Foreign Students

[gorbachev]

I propose every foreign student where an emblem in their chest marking which country they come from. It would make it easier for the government to track these people. After all, what if even one of them is a terrorist?

US students, of which nobody will ever be a terrorist, should be tracked for other reasons like to figure out what will become of them once they grow up and whether the investment on them has paid off. I propose we implant an RFID tag under the scalp of each US student. That way the Government could easily scan them at every opportunity.

It is important that we know what young people do with their lives. After all, they could become terrorists some day! Or eat children! Or even, heaven forbid, violate copyright laws! We MUST know what they're up to.

Re:Whoah!

[Anonymous Coward]

Just wait until they tie your slashdot user account to your college record! They'll report to your college that you can't spell outrageous ;-)

Re:What?

[McNally]

I mean, really... do we NEED to track every little thing someone does? How about a national database for tracking when everyone uses the restroom. We could put little sensors on all toilets to track how often they're flushed!

We could call it "No Behind Left Behind."

no professor left behind

[dankelley]

At the university where I teach, there is an employment rule preventing dicrimination based on physical or mental ability. Yup, I said mental ability. Welcome to this side of the academic looking glass.

Obligatory suggestion for new law

[blueg3]

No Citizen Left Unwatched

Coming soon to a Congress near you! (Only available within the US.)

Re:National Database for Only Foreign Students

[Le Marteau]

Oh, man, that is the WORST attempt at flamebait I have EVER seen, and I have seen alot.

You fail it. Better luck next time.

Re:goal

[77Punker]

Some of those foreigners are pretty suspicious. Take my roommate, for example. He's from Japan and speaks very little English. He hangs out alot with a Jamaican that lives across the hall. He's Japanese, yet he never plays my Gamecube. Not only that, but he's never played DDR! Something is strange here...he's not fitting my stereotype...

What if...

[flyingsquid]

... the government promises not to do anything bad with the list?

Re:What?

[fbjon]

Yes, but does it run linu... oh wait, it does!

Yes, but...

[Guppy06]

"collect personally identifiable information on all college students, including name, address, birth date, gender, race, and SSN."

What about a "appeared recently in 'Gilrs Gone Wild?'" flag?

Re:Good thing the Republicans are in charge

[Anonymous Coward]

Shhhh... half the rubes here don't want to be forced to admit they voted republican.

Re:National Database for Only Foreign Students

[Zhe Mappel]

The national database should be used for only tracking foreign students, especially those from China

Yes, I agree. With China economically ascendant and the US hooked on Asian debt relief, it will be helpful to know the names of our future bosses.

My mom had me fingerprinted as a kid

[drinkypoo]

And my fingerprints have both arches and whorls, and as such are supposedly the easiest type to differentiate. She thought she was doing me a favor, what if someone snatched me (a beautiful little while child - no really I was cute as hell when I was little, something bad must have happened) and sold me to the turks or something!? But basically now I can never commit crimes without gloves. Curse it all! Hopefully no one will start collecting dna samples on a regular basis any time soon or I'll really be screwed.

Re:no professor left behind

[Excen]

So you're saying Dubya could teach English at your institution?

Dear Federal Government

[Jameth]

Please, leave me here, behind. I feel safer when you're in front of me.

Sincerely,
Jame

Re:Privacy is assured.

[demachina]

Right on.

In America we spend money on vaccines for small pox and Anthrax and we don't have enough flu vaccine.

In America we are going to spend hundreds of millions on a nationwide grid of biochemical warfare sensors.

In America we will spend $200 billion and counting on a misguided war in Iraq instead of on education and research.

In America we overturn the theory of evolution in favor of creationism and try to claim the Grand Canyon is a few thousand years old and was created by the great flood.

I always wondered what it would be like to live in the Dark Ages.

No WONDER you didn't get any results

[thegnu]

It's supposed to be:
bust='34' and cup_size='b'

It just doesn't make any sense to do it any other way.