Nintendo Apologizes to SuicideGirls

As a follow up to the unfortunate incident on Wednesday, thanks to emfra (and others) who pointed out that BoingBoing has Nintendo's Apology Letter to the SuicideGirls site up. They even went so far as to offer up a free game system and game to the site owner. So alls well that end's well...but not before Penny Arcade had a chance to comment.

Can someone repost?

[Isca]

Some of us are behind firewalls at work :)

Nintendo

[MyLongNickName]

Sounds like Nintendo did the right thing after messing up. Time to forgive and forget.

Oh wait.. this is Slashdot :)

I said it before...

[marktaw.com]

This was a stealth marketing ploy on the part of Nintendo.

"Hey, hot goth chicks like Nintendo games, how can we publicize this fact? I know, let's send them a nasty letter from our lawyers and 200,000 geeks will start to associate hot goth chicks with Nintendo."

And you all fell for it.

well after RTFA

[JeanBaptiste]

and checking out the suicide girls website...

I'd like to know why Nintendo's Lawyers are looking at goth-porn. That would seem far more damaging than a goth-porn site mentioning they like Nintendo games.

but what do I know.

Dear Nintendo,

[Anonymous Coward]

I like to dress up as a woman in public and tip custard over my head. Then I come home and play Mario 64 for 3 hours, I really need some professional psychiatric help.

Yours faithfully,

A.Nutter

Dear Nutter,

Yes you do need help. Mario 64 is crap.

Yours faithfully,

Your shrink

I have mod points, and wanted to mod this...

[John Murdoch]

But "Obviously wearing tinfoil hat" isn't one of the mod options.

Re:well after RTFA

[frankthechicken]

Maybe they were doing some research for a future Mario adventure, Princess Peach always seemed to me to like the darker side of life, what with her constant "kidnapping" by Bowser, and her penchant for chains, whilst being locked up in Bowser's "dungeon".

It's funny 'cause it's true.

[Spamlent Green]

That's great -- my sister-in-law actually is a trademark attorney, and once spent her days doing nothing but writing C&D letters... I immediately sent the link to the PA strip to her.

Re:I said it before...

[D-Cypell]

Nintendo Marketing Guy #1: "Why dont we create an elaborate ploy to associate hot goth chicks with Nintendo?"

Nintendo Marketing Guy #2: "GREAT IDEA!! Thats much better than Magic Mushroom munching italian plumbers.... get the lawyers on it"

Seems fairly sensible to me!

The letter?

[slimak]

Does anyone else need to moderate the reposted letter? I can post it here again in case any of the many above posts have the moderation maxed out at +5. Normally I don't repost articles, but there seems to be large demand (or at least supply) for this one. Please advise.

E-mail address?

[Dracolytch]

What, slashdotting wasn't enough, so now we're including their e-mail address so we can mailbomb them too? I mean, I know we're a secret socity trying to destroy the Internet one website at a time... But come ON! That's just EVIL.

~D

I hope not too late...

[koi88]

I hope Nintendo's apologies don't come too late.
You know, these emotionally labile personalities (suicide girls) take these things to heart...

Don't do it! Life is so beautiful!

Re:well after RTFA

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe the webmaster of SG should offer Nintendo a free corporate subscription to the site as a sign of good will? :)

So... will Nintendo pay SuicideGirls for...

[dnaumov]

... all the traffic this little incident has caused? SuicideGirls has now been slashdotted TWICE within a week :)

This just in...

[Anita Coney]

Today the State Bar Association moved to disbar Attorney Christie Hamilton for conduct unbecoming of an attorney.

A spokesman for the Bar Association was quoted as saying, "Apologize?! If lawyers start giving apologies for simply doing their jobs, our entire legal system will collapse as everyone will simply get along rather than continue pointless and expensive litigation."

Re:website

[spellraiser]

In addition, we would appreciate it if you could provide us with contact information for RuneLateralus ...

Aha! It's all actually a part of the evil ploy! They want to know his address so they can dispatch black-clad agents to abduct him for nefarious purposes! Don't fall for it guys! Run away! Run
+++ATH
NO CARRIER

Response

[LittleGuy]

Dear Nintendo:

This law offices represent SuicideGirls. Ever since your letter of apology, they have experience a dangerous swing of confidence and self-respect. As a result, they can no longer see themselves as 'SuicideGirls' and prefer the term 'MildlyDespondentWomen'.

We are asking for a settlement of one billion dollars for emotional non-stress, lack of pain and suffering, and character assassination.

And a pony. a Shetland Pony. /s/
Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

Re:Nintendo

[Anonymous Coward]

You should stick to the jokes you get depressing when you get serious....

Re:I hope not too late...

[HideEverFree]

Do you mean "emotionally labial"? :)

Nintendo game system of their choice?

[Moloch666]

Just to really throw them off, I would ask for an original Nintendo system.

Re:well after RTFA

[dash2]

Cease and desist at once!!!! Yours, Nintendo.

Re:I said it before...

[ArbitraryConstant]

I think it's a conspiracy. One assumes at least some of the 200k geeks will pay to see the hot goth chicks naked. They both benefit.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Why stop there?

[Hoi Polloi]

Why stop there? I'm setting up a website with some pornstars and references to the following:

Subaru
REI
Nintendo
Sony
Dell
Bank of America Loan Dept. ..etc

Of course it could backfire and I'd end up instead getting an apology letter from a pornstar with an offer for free...you know.

The best part of that apology...

[Alzheimers]

is imaginging poor Christie Hamilton, a member of the Consumer Service Department, specificly offering a free console to the online identity "RuneLateralus". She didn't even try to pretend it was a real name by putting a space between the two words!

"Is that Rune or Ms. Lateralus? Ohh....ooook...."

You almost get the feeling that if Christie had asked what level her half-elven ranger was, she wouldn't have to stop and think before answering...

Slashdot/SG connection?

[Anonymous Coward]

It seems stupid that Nintendo would send the site webmaster a video console in exchange for making a legal mistake, so this all seems fishy to me. Furthermore, slashdot has posted numerous [slashdot.org] stories [slashdot.org] with direct links to SG in the past. Naturally, they allow enough time in between stories to make the scheme less obvious.

This would make a good Slashdot poll.
"Does SG pay Slashdot for this advertisement?"
o Yes
o Probably
o CowboyNeal gets free nookie

Re:Nintendo game system of their choice?

[SendBot]

I would ask for an original Nintendo system.

Complete with the little robot guy to handle the gyroscopes! That thing was awesome!

Touching Is Good

[marktaw.com]

Nintendo Says 'Touching Is Good' in Sexed-Up DS Ads [reuters.co.uk]

Teaser spots start on Monday, playing up the dual-screen device's touch controls. A woman's sultry voice invites the viewer to come a little closer and get a feel.

When you're a kid you're always told you can't touch anything, said Perrin Kaplan, vice president of marketing at Nintendo of America. Touching is good. You're grown-up now, so read it how you want.

Print ads appear in young men's magazines Maxim and Blender, with a buxom woman holding a DS model and advising, How to Score! ... Start listening to her needs, playa!

Industry analysts said Nintendo's ads should draw young adults who are keen on gadgets and the image they project.

The Game Boy Advance has always been a kids platform, said Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Michael Pachter. The DS is going to move up the age scale ... and they are going to put some more mature content on there,

Tell me again that the hot goth chicks connection isn't intentional.

In related news...

[MrNemesis]

...namechecks of the Suicide Girls appeared all over Nintendo's global website. Nintendo are hoping SG will sue, and then retract and offer free samples of their products by way of condolence.

punish Sony

[Anonymous Coward]

I say the Suicide Girls should punish Sony and / or their lawyers.

I suggest a spanking.

[queue scene of Monty Python's Castle Anthrax, but with less 'innocent' looking girls]

Re:Can someone repost?

[AvantLegion]

P.S. - You may pick up your free game systems at Nintendo of America headquarters in Redmond, WA.

Please bring the girls.

Re:Dear Nintendo,

[Fade_to_Blah]

*GASP*

I can't believe you said Mario 64 is crap!

Re:Can someone repost?

[NeoSkandranon]

Also known as: HOWTO get fired for circumventing your organization's IT policy

Re:Fairly obvious what happened

[julesh]

So, where can I get a nakedness-sensitive spider of my own? :)

Damn!

[Anonymous Coward]

I know it screws up the schemas of the slashdot crowd, but there's really not this global conspiracy to screw you personally.

Damn.. and I thought I was going to get laid!

Re:Not perfect

[d34thm0nk3y]

I know it screws up the schemas of the slashdot crowd, but there's really not this global conspiracy to screw you personally.

Well, really, there is, it is just that Nintendo is playing a smaller part than originally thought. hehe

It's a trick!

[spiritraveller]

Don't trust them Suicide Girls!

It's just a ruse so that they can get RuneLateralus's home address and sue him directly...

DON'T DO IT!

(I'm joking, but if it were the RIAA or SCO instead of Nintendo, I wouldn't be.)

Re:Dear Nintendo,

[jacoplane]

You forgot to post your adress so they can send you a free gamecube!

Re:I said it before...

[CommanderData]

Nintendo Marketing Guy #3: "???"

Nintendo Marketing Guy #4: "Profit!"


The joke's been done before but I couldn't resist :)

Re:Can someone repost?

[michrech]

While not targeted at children directly, try dlsreports.com.

I mis-typed this once in front of my boss and ended up with a picture of a vagina on my screen.

Luckily there were no customers in our shop at the time.

Going to the site now returns a 'search' page instead of the porn site it used to be. Maybee dslreports.com had it taken down?

Re:Can someone repost?

[Aqua OS X]

Might be cool... if you have an overwhelming desire to become cross-eyed and enjoy being shot in the face with red lasers. :)

Holy crap!

[Anonymous Coward]

Nintendo is actually run by reasonably nice people!

A megacorporation being nice is like the seventh sign. I'm packing my bags and getting the fuck out of Dodge.

Re:Nintendo

[fossa]

Let's assume that you need at least one eye to successfully poke the eye of another. After poking a single eye, the eye-poker is now one-eyed, having given an eye for justice, but can still poke. The eye-poker's eye won't be removed until he is caught. This is the key point, and it allows the one-eyed (or two-eyed) eye-poker to poke as many eyes as she can until someone stops her. So it is possible for a clever eye poker to poke many more eyes than her two eye quota that she would at first appear to be limited to. (Let's ignore for a moment the question of punishing a multi-poker who has but two eyes to lose). Thus, it is certainly possible for everyone to go blind in an eye for an eye world if we allow for an eye-poking rampage.

Or maybe you just shouldn't take everything so literally.

Re:Makes perfect sense to me

[Anonymous Coward]

The Pretzel failed.

Re:Just to summarize

[Kris_J]

Heck, I sent me GF a link to this, she was looking up some girls' on SG and found their profiles rather cool, wanted to sign up herself.

Dear Penthouse, I don't normally write letters like this, but...