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The Courts Government The Almighty Buck The Internet News Loses Class action Lawsuit 454

Posted by timothy
from the and-nelson-laughs dept.
Anonymous Blowhard writes "I found out today I am a member of a class that just beat in New York Supreme Court!! The suit was filed by Michael Zurakov because pointed his newly registered domain(s) to 'coming soon' web pages. Mr. Zurakov receives $12,500 for the harm caused by while members of the class can look forward to a settlement of $5 off their next domain renewals. will also pay 'reasonable Class Counsel attorneys' fees and costs in an amount not to exceed $642,500.00, subject to Court approval.' If you want to exclude yourself from the class, giving up any settlement and not being bound by its terms, you have to opt-out."
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  • by Jonny Royale (62364) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @07:24AM (#6919637) Homepage Journal
    ...and all I got was a $5 off coupon.

    $650,000 in court fees, huh? Guess we know who the lawyers were fighting for.
  • by andih8u (639841) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @07:28AM (#6919662)
    Now I can sue apache for that horrible advertising page that informs me I've successfully installed the apache server and welcomes me to my new home in cyberspace.
  • by nacturation (646836) <nacturation AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @07:46AM (#6919729) Journal
    ...and all I got was a $5 off coupon. today announced their fees are increasing by $5 for new domain registrations and renewals.
  • by RestiffBard (110729) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @07:57AM (#6919771) Homepage
    my most humble apologies on behalf of all Americans. A great many of us, sadly, are twits.

    We're also responsible for labels on hair dryers warning that you not use them in the shower.
  • by Gr00ve (30611) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @08:00AM (#6919793)
    I agree. This is truly ridiculous.

    They should be suing whoever sold them the alcohol.

    I bet there wasn't even a warning sticker saying "Caution: Drinking alcohol may cause accidental horizonalism".
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @08:01AM (#6919798)
    ...and we'll give you a coupon worth $0.00 off your next purchase of any Apache Software Foundation product.
  • So, let's suggest I purchase some acid. This company, they screw up, I purchased 10% acid (enough to burn through my skin in 1 minute) but they packed in 100% acid (enough to burn through my skin in 10 seconds).

    I decide to carry this dangerous item using my genitalia. Being a moron, I crush the relatively fragile carrier with my thighs and spill this acid all over myself. Rather than being able to wash this stuff off and avoiding sexual pleasure for a week, I have to be hospitalized.

    Do I get to sue also? No, I clearly misused a product that, either way, wasn't labelled to be used in that manner. If it were labelled "Please spread this item on your genetalia", I'd have a pretty good case. But it wasn't.

    If she sued because the correct usage of the product harmed her, THAT'S FINE. She could sue for 3rd degree mouth burns. That would be fine with me.

    You do NOT get to sue, in my books, for ANY unintended usage of a product that turns out to be dangerous. Otherwise what happens when one of my $29.99 power supplies gets used in a heart monitor? Do I get sued for it failing at the wrong time and KILLING a patient?

    Certainly not. That's misuse of the product. And at least in that case, it was doing something related to proper use of the product. In this lady's case, the item in question wasn't even NEAR where it belonged. This woman assumed the coffee would only cause some burning if she crushed the cup, not a lot. If she assumed none, then honestly, she's really dumber than some of the unfortunate bedridden, braindead people waiting for death at various hospitals not visited by Dr. Kevorkian. At least their natural reactions cause them to shy away from hot items.

    Jesus, how can you be so stupid to take a risk of even some burning?

    "Damn, lost my ring in with the boiling carrots. Well, I think they've only been on for a minute, I'll just reach in there and get it." "Oh, shit, I burned myself because this stove heats up faster than my usual one. I HAD BETTER SUE FRIGIDAIRE FOR MILLIONS RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE I'M KING DUMBSHIT! Or should I phone emergency... so hard to decide."

    >The woman who spilt it was hospitalized for 8 days and suffered 3rd degree burns on 6 percent of her body

    I'm sorry she's an idiot and drinks beverages (hot, cold, lukewarm, of any type really) with her vagina. However, someone that stupid really needs hospitalization for something; I'm just glad they caught her before she did more serious damage to herself.
  • by DaneelGiskard (222145) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @08:10AM (#6919859) Homepage
    *uh* ... *thinks* ... that's a catch question ... right? *sweats* ..errr



    Now if you would have included into that question, it would have been _really_ tricky...
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @08:28AM (#6919972)
    In NY, the appeal court is called the "District Court", and the Supreme Court is known as the Small Claims Court.

  • by Oddly_Drac (625066) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @08:51AM (#6920147)
    "You have to opt out to exclude yourself from a class action suit?"

    Use the handy 'remove' link at the bottom of the filing.

  • by _Spirit (23983) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @09:01AM (#6920232) Journal
    The funniest thing that happened when I clicked that link was that I got a popup saying I was the 50000000 th visitor and that that had won me a prize. I thought this was supposed to be a new domain ? 49999999 previous visitors sounds more like a "used" domain.
  • Re:Sigh (Score:2, Funny)

    by Zaiff Urgulbunger (591514) on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @09:30AM (#6920469)
    Funny thing is, he saw the advert for the lawyer on his "coming soon" page!!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @10:23AM (#6920947)
    Enough flaimebait. Bring on the jailbait!
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 10, 2003 @12:56PM (#6922497)
    If supreme does not mean "highest" here, maybe it means "comes with guacamole, cheese, and sour cream"?

Imitation is the sincerest form of plagarism.