RIAA Now Targets Pirates' Parents

cecil36 writes "In a follow-up to the subpoena silliness by the RIAA, the Associated Press is now reporting that the RIAA is now issuing subpoenas to family members of suspected online music swappers."

The family that shares together stays together...

[Anonymous Coward]

IN JAIL.

Don't make your kids angry...

[Burlynerd]

What an excellent way for a rotten, rebellious brat to get his parents in trouble for spanking him!

While your after the parents...

[unixwin]

Dear RIAA,
Kindly go after the school the kids are in, the district and the State they live in, oh hell even sue a few Congressmen and Senators and the U.S. Government while your at it.. !!

Kind Regards
A Clueless bum

How about a CD party?

[HanzoSan]

We can throw our CDs into the habor!

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Bluebeard:

[Anonymous Coward]

Please turn over the doubloons previously designated as the "college fund."

With apologies to Spaceballs

[Matey-O]

RIAA: You're my father's Brother's Uncle's Sister's Roommate's Cousin.

Dude: What's that make me?

RIAA: Nothing, but we're suing you anyway.

Many Parents are Pirates

[sulli]

you insensitive clod!

Social Security Coverage

[SkiddyRowe]

My Dad downloads music, sometimes more than I do. Does that mean the RIAA will go after my grandpa? What'll they settle for, half of his pension check each month?

Re:SO what happens when Laura Bush is sued?

[freeze128]

You're going to tell me that Bill Gates' Daughter downloads MP3s from Kazaa? HA!

If Bill gates is the Richest man in America, then his daughter is the most SPOILED BRAT in America.
She wouldn't download MP3s, she would *BUY* the CDs.
She mentions to Daddy that she likes the new smashmouth disc, and Bill hires Smashmouth to play at her slumber party.

Re:SO what happens when Laura Bush is sued?

[jedidiah]

Nevermind Laura Bush.

What happens when the RIAA tries to sue a relative of some crime family? Someone wake up next to a decapitated horses head.

Suing for file sharing?

[Anonymous Coward]

The recording industry said Pate's daughter was offering songs by Billy Idol, Missy Elliot, Duran Duran, Def Leppard and other artists.

Christ, I'd consider suing her for bad musical taste, probably have an easier time making that one stick too.

War On Piracy?

[PontifexPrimus]

Over the coming months this may be the Internet's equivalent of shock and awe, the stunning discovery by music fans across America that copyright lawyers can pierce the presumed anonymity of file-sharing, even for computer users hiding behind nicknames such as "hottdude0587" or "bluemonkey13."
Does this mean there will be heavy civilian casualties, lots of property damage an eventually guerilla warfare with nothing much gained?

Rebellion

[Anonymous Coward]

From the article :

Pate said that he never personally downloaded music and that he so zealously respects copyrights that he does not videotape movies off cable television channels.

It's a wonder his daughter only downloaded a bit of music. Her father's obviously some kind of loony and you'd think her reaction to that would push her the other way.

Ack!

[fluxrad]

The recording industry said Pate's daughter was offering songs by Billy Idol, Missy Elliot, Duran Duran, Def Leppard and other artists

She shouldn't be fined for pirating music. She should be fined for her taste in music.

Once again, this shows that...

[Faeton]

... nothing is more powerful than "I'm gonna tell your dad!" - Chris Rock

Re:War On Piracy?

[El]

And in the end, no Weapons of Music Distribution will be found?

Re:Of course

[M$ Mole]

Also, it is NEVER up to the accused to prove innocence

Ah, how cute...they're so cute before reality hits.

A sad, sad site ...

[slagdogg]

Wow, the effects have been brutal ... I snapped a pic of one of those affected at lunch today:

Click Here [derekslager.com]

Thank God It's Not What I Thought

[Nom du Keyboard]

Father: What's that on your computer, son?

17-year-old-son: Some movies of barely legal teens doing everything with barnyard animals that I downloaded off the Internet.

Father: Thank God it's not MP3s. For a moment I'd thought you'd really gotten us in trouble there.

Re:I heard in Facist Italy

[Anonymous Coward]

Have you ever seen how people in Rome drive?

Re:Of course

[scovetta]

Except in the case of the DMCA/RIAA. Then we're all guilty as sin. Period.

The RIAA and Warcraft 3: the college relation

[phloydphreak]

The relation: Strategy. The RIAA has realized that most individuals over the age of 50 are ignorant of the filesharing ideology; we can relate that to a nice bunch of peasants. Now, how does one scare peasants? With a firestorm/blizzard combination. The Blizzard consists of subpoenas of, say, 600 people (probably college kids). Everyone saw this one coming, its an old strat. The parents' thought process went something along these lines, they are only targeting the big distributors, and my college student cannot be downloading that much music. Suddenly the RIAA comes out with the expansion pack and a firestorm insues. Now the parents can be sued, and they will be forced to check into their children's downloading habbits. The entire strategy is to exploit the peasants. All the peasants have to do is to realize that there are only 2 heros in this game, against alot more peasants. The peasants wont mine gold for either side if the combo is used. Because in real life, the peasants realize that they are the only ones who really get screwed. "I used to think" -I could be wrong --Radiohead--

Re:HA HA HA!

[Llyr]

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of a filesharing network?

Do you want fries with that FUD?

Re:How about a CD party?

[Telastyn]

or better yet, the microwave!

Re:Suggestion for action...

[Anonymous Coward]

The way returning music should be:

Customer: "I would like to return this new Metallica CD"
Best Buy: "Is it opened?"
Customer: "Yes, that's the only way it would fit in my CD player."
Best Buy: "Why are you returning it?"
Customer: "Because it would be cheaper to buy a can of chili, feed it to my dog, and listen to him fart out better quality music."
Best Buy: OK sir, here's your $15 back."

In a connected story...

[Packet Fish]

In a connected story today, the New York Times is reporting that RIAA attorneys will be issuing warrants for the arrest of anyone found to be aiding and abetting file swappers later this week at a joint press conference. As one of the recording industry attorneys put it:

"...we're seeking anyone who may have given these criminals the tools, skills, or abilities to commit their crimes. This will include the teachers who taught them to read and write, any government road worker responsible for upkeep of roads that allowed these criminals transit to locations where they obtained their equipment, and any doctor involved in their pre-natal, birth, or childhood healthcare."

...film at 11.

Re:It don't mean a thing...

[Dutchmaan]

Mom: (Blank stare)

Dad: (Slightly blanker stare)

Lawyer: "I'm sorry, it means your daughter is a terrorist... and will be shipped off to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba as a Digital Combatant.

We'll be sending you the bill for our settlement and fees.

Re:Of course

[gunix]

Well, I'd say, arrest all parents for not giving the children a proper childhood!

Re:Of course

[el-spectre]

Well, physics kill them, but I'm not gonna drag Sire Newton into this too :)

Re:RIAA contact info

[Luigi30]

"Welcome to the Springfield Police website. Have you committed a crime?" *Homer clicks no* "You selected no, meaning you committed a crime, but do not want to confess. A paddy wagon has been sent to your home."

Re:any wifi owners contacted?

[the idoru]

when my neighbor gets his letter, i'll let you know.

Pirates Patents Interview..

[rat7307]

RIAA: You son has been stealing Music from our artists

PIRATE DAD: YARR!!! He is such a little scallywag YARRR.... I'll have to make him walk the plank!


Well, thats what I thought when I saw the title.....

Here's a dumb quesiton...

[AnimeFreak]

If I play a CD in my house, and let my friends listen to it, would I be infringing on the RIAA's IP? What if my friends remember the song and play it in their heads constantly?

New threat for naughty kids...

[KC7GR]

"Eat all your vegetables, Percy, or we'll tell the RIAA that you've been file-sharing again!"

OVerheard in every connected trailer park

[Vampyre_Dark]

I don't know what y'all are talking about, my son is Billy Jim Bob, not GoatLick69.

Re:RIAA contact info

[krishy]

here is the number
1 800 223-2328
1 800 bad-beat


So now can we do what the Russian minister [slashdot.org] did yesterday?;)

Re:Of course

[some damn guy]

You should be automatically found a compliance and be forced to stand trial along with your murderous buddy.

I suppose that would go for attempted murder too. It would sure be nice to have a law like that pass... and then have someone break into my house and nearly kill me with my own gun.

That would just be my luck.