David Cameron 'Orders New Curbs On Internet Porn'

First time accepted submitter fustakrakich writes with news reported in The Telegraph of new anti-pornography regulations ordered by UK Prime Minister David Cameron: "The new measures will mean that in future anyone buying a new computer or signing up with a new internet service provider (ISP) will be asked, when they log on for the first time, whether they have children. If the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be, according to a newspaper."

This Will Certainly Work

[retroworks]

Finally, internet pornography will be thwarted, and David Cameron will go down in history.

Re:This Will Certainly Work

[wonkey_monkey]

and David Cameron will go down

But we won't be able to see the video.

Just kids?

[Roger W Moore]

I'm actually surprised that it just asks for kids. Given their established record I would have thought the question should really be "Do you have any kids or MPs in the house?".

It's secretly just a plan to improve education

[Art Challenor]

A brilliant move to improve public computer education in the UK. Now kids will have incentive to learn networking, system administration, and generally how the internet works in order to defeat the feature. A much better, practical lesson, than they'd ever get in formal classroom training - and it's free to the governemnt.

And normally, you'd be able to ask the nerdy Linux kid to fix your computer for you, but what interest would they have in porn?

Re:Sorry kids...

[Vinegar Joe]

I'm afraid that your first sexual experiences will have to be with a trusted friend, family member, or respected community authority figure, rather than the internet...

Well a Catholic priest is the traditional authority figure to fill this role.

In Britain it's been Jimmy Saville and the BBC.

Re:Sorry kids...

[Stan92057]

My first sexual experience was with a magazine called Playboy. For kids of this age it will be a misspelled word that will give them there first experience.

Re:What happens.. non standard OS?

[ifiwereasculptor]

Linux is a tool for child porn! Ban it!

Barring that, it would be just loads of fun. In a world where I can't even buy an airline ticket without having to fire up IE and the so-called "support" of pretty much all companies get throughly confused when I say I don't have Windows, It'd be great to say "sure, take me through the legally required steps of securing my computer against evil, evil porn. By the way, I use OpenBSD. Go."

Re:Just kids?

[ifiwereasculptor]

I'm surprised it's just a question. You can just lie and be done with it. A simple "no" should be enough, but if you want to completely avoid suspicion, try "well, if I had children of my own available, I wouldn't need internet access, would I?".

Re:Sorry kids...

[Larryish]

I called Mr. Cameron on the telephone and asked what was behind it all.

Mr. Cameron says the new curbs are actually a safety measure to keep all that Internet traffic from running over the cyber-street-walkers.

Safety first, I always say!

Re:Loveley, to live in a Republic!

[TheP4st]

With a UID as low as 137 I would not rule out old age.

Re:Sorry kids...

[snspdaarf]

In fairness, the nation had been wondering who'd take up the "think of the children" mantle now Sir Jimmy Savile is no longer with us.

Gary Glitter?