TSA Saw My Junk, Missed Razor Blades, Says Adam Savage 609
An anonymous reader writes "The TSA isn't the most respected of governmental agencies right now, but at least it comes by the poor reputation honestly. The lack of standards, inconsistent application of searches and policies, and occasional rude agent all combine to make flying an unpleasant experience. It's often derided as 'security theater,' which describes the experience of Mythbuster Adam Savage before a recent flight. Savage was put through the full-body scanner, and while he joked that it made his penis feel small, no one seemed to notice the items he was carrying on his person. The video tells the rest of the story."
TSA Security Theater (Score:5, Funny)
Next, on TSA Security Theater we have the story of the man who manages to bring 12 inch razor blades through security checks. Coming up... Savage Blades.
Anthropomorphalicism (Score:5, Funny)
and while he joked that it made his penis feel small
But how did it make him feel? Stop anthropomorphizing penises, they hate it when you do that!
Re:Still getting over penis-shock. (Score:5, Funny)
I'd like to think that the women in a strip club are slightly more distracting than the average flying American.
Hell, I'd be trying to look away from the scanners, not stare at them.
I'm joking, I have a squigly line. (Score:4, Funny)
Modded off-topic? Bizarre. Grammar jokes are the heart and soul of Slashdot.
I think you misspelled "grammer".
Obvious What Happened (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Still getting over penis-shock. (Score:3, Funny)
As much as you'd like to stop looking, you can't turn away. The horror!
Re:Security Theater, a comedy in 5 acts. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The "enhanced" procedures are useless (Score:5, Funny)
Another of the obvious plots: shoot up (or toss bombs, or suicide-bomb, or carbomb, or...well, you get the point) a Black Friday opening line or three on the east coast at a big box store.
That's not effective terrorism. No one will know if it was a terrorist attack or someone just wanted to thin the line to get to the linens department before the good stuff was picked over.
Re:I'm joking, I have a squigly line. (Score:2, Funny)
Modded off-topic? Bizarre. Grammar jokes are the heart and soul of Slashdot.
I think you misspelled "grammer".
Nope, he got it right. You got it wrong :)
This being modded "informative" instead of "redundant" signals dreaded times.
Re:TSA Security Theater (Score:0, Funny)
That would be "Due to", not "Do to".
I apologize for the previous AC, who is an idiot. I do, however, think that random groping, assisted by the TSA, can only lead to harmony, and so, I commend the TSA for this, and say: Grope away!
Re:Still getting over penis-shock. (Score:3, Funny)
As much as you'd like to stop looking, you can't turn away. The horror!
See, the terrorists have won.
Re:Anthropomorphalicism (Score:5, Funny)
Modded off-topic? Bizarre. Grammar jokes are the heart and soul of Slashdot.
No, posters that think they're being clever while confusing grammar with semantics are the heart and soul of Slashdot.
Re:The "enhanced" procedures are useless (Score:3, Funny)
Well, it's not like they've tried strapping explosives to themselves and walking into a big crowd of people, so he doesn't want to give them that idea.
I'm not surprised they missed the razor blades... (Score:5, Funny)
...they are a cutting edge technology after all.
Now I have an even greater fear (Score:3, Funny)
I just imagined my home owners association running airport screening, and it sent chills down my spine. You know, maybe the TSA isn't so bad, after all.
Re:And let's just clarify a few things. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:TSA Security Theater (Score:5, Funny)
You don't really need a weapon at all. Just turn on any electrical device that gives off an RF signal while the plane ascends. Then watch that fucker go up in a firey fireball of death!
Re:The "enhanced" procedures are useless (Score:5, Funny)
The terrorists will be mobbed and trampled.
"HE'S got a BOMB!!!"
OMG!!! Can I get it giftwrapped?
I NEED three. Does it come in blue?
I was here first, go find your own bombs!!!
Re:TSA Security Theater (Score:1, Funny)
Of course they give you a knife: they're just not going to give you any ammunition for it.
They'd never give you a loaded knife. That would be needlessly dangerous.
Re:TSA Security Theater (Score:3, Funny)
Who needs to smuggle on your own knife; buy a first class or business class ticket and get a nice, sharp, big knife given to you!
That airline steak was probably the most dangerous item on the plane. The last time I had steak on a plane, I though t it had a higher density that depleted Uranium. Great for anti-tank munition. Whack someone on the head with that, and they would have gone to meet his or her maker.
a 9" total length metal butter knife,
Brilliant! So, you hold up the butter knife to the Land of Lakes chick on the butter package, and scream, "Nobody moves! Or the Native American gets it!"
"Um, does anyone know how to do that trick, where the chick looks like she is dropping her tits out?"
Re:TSA Security Theater (Score:5, Funny)
ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented as the conclusion of a fallacious argument.
Whenever I see your sig I want to change it to:
ad logicam Claiming a proposition is false because it was presented using a web camera.
Re:The "enhanced" procedures are useless (Score:4, Funny)
The only Authority figures I recognise are my wife and my own reflection. Anyone else want authority over me better be prepared to do what my wife does or they can fuck right off.
Re:TSA Security Theater (Score:2, Funny)
The last time I had steak on a plane
I think you mean 'motherfuckin' steaks on a motherfuckin' plane'