Pakistan To Scour Google, Yahoo For Blasphemy

sv_libertarian sends in this excerpt from an AP report: "Pakistan will start monitoring seven major websites, including Google, Yahoo, and Amazon, for sacrilegious content, while blocking 17 other, lesser-known sites it deems offensive to Muslims, an official said Friday. The moves follow Pakistan's temporary ban imposed on Facebook in May that drew both praise and condemnation in a country that has long struggled to figure out how strict a version of Islam it should follow. ... 'If any particular link with offensive content appears on these websites, the (link) shall be blocked immediately without disturbing the main website,' [said Pakistan Telecommunication Authority spokesman Khurram Mehran]."

Only one way this can end

[0racle]

Hilariously.

Allah Akbar.

Maybe the will outsource it

[DnemoniX]

I wonder if they will ship this out to a call center in Mumbai. Now that would be funny.

"Thank you for calling the blasphemy hotline, this is Steve, how may I direct your call?"

hey religious nuts!

[Lord Ender]

  0     <- Mohammed
-|-
/ \

Come censor slashdot!

P.S.  I secretly rub bacon in all the other ingredients at Subway.

Re:Maybe the will outsource it

[MightyMartian]

"Thank you for calling the blasphemy hotline, this is Steve, how may I direct your call?"

Caller: I would like to report a picture of Mohammed with a man's penis in his mouth.

Steve: I see from your caller id that you are calling from the United States.

Caller: Yes, what does that have to do with it?

Steve: I'm afraid kind sir that it is not illegal to show pictures of your prophet performing fellatio on another man.

Caller: This is an outrage! If I was in Pakistan, already six suicide bombers would be dispatched to deal with this blasphemy.

Steve: If you like, I could transfer you to our Public Relations department. Just last week it forced the retirement of a cartoonist and the editing of a South Park cartoon.

Caller: Will there be a fatwah? Or at least the severing of some body part?

Steve: No, I am afraid that is illegal in the United States. But you can be assured the headline on tomorrow's New York Times.

Caller: So this is what has become of jihad. Very well, but want at least one simpering liberal to defend my outrage, and perhaps an Evangelical Christian to call for the banning of homosexuality.

Steve: That will be no problem, sir. Transferring you now...

Re:Muhammad

[Evildonald]

The faith may be entire fantasy, but there are some good hygiene and food preparation tips in there if you don't have refrigeration!

Re:Ah My

[cyber0ne]

My thoughts exactly. If Facebook is stronger than your religion, then your religion could use a little strengthening. It reminds me of when a guy at a church I used to attend said that he saw The Da Vinci Code in the theater and it "challenged his faith." I suggested that he challenge his faith more often, it could really use the exercise.

Re:Ah My

[MightyMartian]

The only thing the Da Vinci Code and that awful sequel challenged in me was my ability to suspend disbelief. What gawdawful dreck.

Re:This is what happens

[Anonymous Coward]

There's an old saying: Give an Islamic radical an inch and he'll beg you to stick the other seven in.

FTFY

Re:Fulltime Job

[rainmouse]

So if we can introduce Muhammad shaped icons into call centre systems they would have no choice but to move all the previously outsourced British tech support back into the UK and generate thousands of jobs.

Gonna be pissed when they find my stick Muhammad

[SlappyBastard]

0-|-=

Shhhh . . .Stick Muhammad is sleeping. Don't wake him up with your freaky religious intolerance. He'd be disappointed by your unwillingness to be happy to just conquer and tax people you don't agree with.

Re:Fulltime Job

[ragefan]

Just wait until they learn about Rule 34.

Re:This is what happens

[ThisIsAnonymous]

Bending over backwards to "accommodate" someone will get you killed in Pakistan. You can only "accommodate" in the missionary position.

Inoffensive websites

[bmo]

Here is a list of inoffensive websites. This is a comprehensive list which will encompass every single website that is not insulting to Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Shintoism, Republicans, Democrats, Randroids, Scientists, Fantasy Writers, Raisin Smugglers, Budgie Smugglers, and Serial Murderers:

http://127.0.0.1/ [127.0.0.1]

There. You will never be offended.

Pakistan: We are laughing at you.

--
BMO

Re:Fulltime Job

[enjerth]

With enough offensive stimuli, some are likely to suffer from premature detonation.

Re:Ah My

[geekoid]

Pakistan has Glenn beck to? those pore bastards.

"Scour"?

[halcyon1234]

"Scour"? It's the fucking Internet. How hard can it be? Start here! [lmgtfy.com] Let everyone know when you're done, ok?

Islamic Paridise

[pseudorand]

Great idea Pakistan. I think the only practical and effect way to do that would be to just block the entire Internet. Reminds me of Weird Al's song...

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be

Re:"Scour"?

[Col Bat Guano]

Apparently it's quite hard, as you spelt "Blasphemy" wrong... :-p