Amazon Seeks 1-Nod Ordering Patent 194
theodp writes "Amazon.com is famous for its patented 1-Click ordering system. But what about 1-Nod ordering? Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is seeking a patent on a system that would let people make purchases with a nod, a smile, or even a raise of the eyebrow. Bezos' invention — 'Movement Recognition as Input Mechanism' — envisions a computing device that could interpret certain facial expressions and enhance or potentially replace conventional input devices such as keypads and touch screens."
What will be next? (Score:5, Funny)
I'd like to see that... Now where is that patent application form?
1-Touch balls buy (Score:5, Funny)
I want to buy when I touch my balls.
And if I have an erection I want to buy with fastest shipping method.
Re:Online auctioning ? (Score:4, Funny)
SOLD!
Say no more . . . some bloke in the pub . . . (Score:3, Funny)
. . . was bothering me the other night "with a nod, a smile or even a raise of the eyebrow." And his inquiries if my wife was interested in "candid photography."
Was he infringing on Amazon's patent?"
WWSWHD? (Score:5, Funny)
I want to bet this system will be so sensitive it will lead to a lot of 'purchases', which will be defended in court with reasoning along the lines of: "our patented method can even detect the body language of subconscious wants and needs with over 99% accuracy, which is a higher success rate than our patented 'one click buy' button which has a slightly higher error rate because of accidental clicks."
>>> FAST FORWARD >>>
Year 2042 history books describing the rise of the Amazon mega-conglomerate identify this patent as the most important one in Amazon's history:
This of course would lead to the infamous landmark lawsuit of Amazon VS Stephen Hawking who had an Amazon pop-up on his wheelchair-computer and accidentally ordered everything on Amazon.com by staring blankly at the screen...
The argument of SWH's lawyers that he could not possibly operate a Segway for lack of motor control and thus had no use for it - and did not want to order it - was refuted by the Amazon legal team because, according to them, "the lack of motor control gave him the strong subconscious urge to walk an do all the things a walking man can do, and thus order a Segway".
After losing this exhausting case Stephen commented: "One cannot really argue with a mathematical theorem, but it is clear that intelligence has no long-term survival value.".
This legal tactic that set a precedent causing a new advertising phenomenon called 'drive by shopping'. Every pop-up ad from Amazon now has a mandatory purchase when you look at it, because they can prove 'without a doubt' you *want* to purchase the items they sell using their unique patented method...
Re:What will be next? (Score:3, Funny)
I suspect there will probably be a 1 hard on ordering system for porn.
Opera ASA has prior art (Score:3, Funny)
Introducing Opera Face Gestures [opera.com]
It's not my bag. (Score:4, Funny)
We see by your expression that you really like this Swedish made penis enlarger. One has been ordered in your name. Additionally, we have posted a "like" on your Facebook page as well as posting a Twitpic on your twitter account. Please smile again if you would like to cancel this operation.
Don't browse Amazon sitting at a cafe outside (Score:3, Funny)
Presently, your friend Bob comes walking down the street. "Hey Bob!" you say, waving and nodding. Your browser starts loading a new page. "Purchase confirmed." DOH!!
Re:What will be next? (Score:5, Funny)
Parent post made me LOL but unfortunately an ad saw this, misinterpreted it, and I now own an IBM z10 mainframe.
I'd cry but I'm afraid that Amazon would notice.
2-click patent (Score:5, Funny)
in other news... (Score:2, Funny)
In other news... Michael J. Fox has declared bankruptcy.
Re:Class action lawsuit possible? (Score:3, Funny)