Airport Scanners Can Store and Transmit Images 350
CNN is reporting on findings from a Freedom of Information request initiated by the Electronic Privacy Information Center that has revealed that, contrary to public statements by the Transportation Security Agency, full-body scanners can store and transmit images. "In the [FOIA] documents, obtained by the privacy group and provided to CNN, the TSA specifies that the body scanners it purchases must have the ability to store and send images when in 'test mode.' ... 'There is no way for someone in the airport environment to put the machine into the test mode,' [an anonymous] official said, adding that test mode can be enabled only in TSA test facilities. But the official declined to say whether activating test mode requires additional hardware, software or simply additional knowledge of how the machines operate."
Deja vu all over again (Score:2, Funny)
Wow, what a surprise! Just like electronic voting machines, I'm absolutely certain they are invulnerable to hacking.
Check the redactions (Score:5, Funny)
Further analysis of the documents finds some improperly-redacted material indicating that the test mode can in fact be entered with a sequence on the control panel, to wit "UP UP DOWN DOWN LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A START".
Invisibility Cloak (Score:3, Funny)
Need a shirt and pants that route x-rays around the body so when you step into the scanner, they only see a head and shoes.
Add: A fluctuating Eye of Sauron where your chest would be that the x-rays can see.
Cool! (Score:4, Funny)
They can add value by auto-updating everyone's FaceBook page with the latest scan and the new status 'clean'/'hilarious'/'needs liposuction'/'tumescent'/'en route to Gitmo' etc.
Re:amusing (Score:5, Funny)
This is the most invasive government search
Well, the 2nd most. The most invasive search requires rubber gloves.
Re:Invisibility Cloak (Score:3, Funny)
Unfortunately, the Eye of Sauron is a prohibited explosive device - all you need to do to set it off is have some hobbit somewhere to throw a magic ring into a volcano.
Re:Funny you ask... (Score:3, Funny)
Suddenly, I understand how this works.
"Nope, he hasn't got the balls to hijack a plane."
Re:Duh. (Score:2, Funny)
They probably record every single image generated by those things, and hold it at least until the passenger's flight is over. I don't see why they would do it any other way. It flies in the face of reason. I know they say otherwise, but I doubt they feel bad about lying to the general public. It's for the greater good, right?
The TSA does not lie to the general public, never has, never will. You, on the other hand, are an inch shorter than stated on your job application form and may continue to shrink, should you fail to retract your statement.
Problem Solved (Score:4, Funny)
just fly naked. If they don't like it, you can claim it's a security related measure.
Re:amusing (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dignity is an essential human right. (Score:3, Funny)
So you're saying that she looks like Alice Cooper?
Re:amusing (Score:3, Funny)
It isn't that fuzzy. I've been seeing reports on the wires about the scanner being refined enough to see male genitalia. These scanners won't last long. I bet one day, if they're put in place, we'll see web sites with some actor's dick showing or some other actress' tits in full view or some politicians little pee-pee and we'll see things change real fast.
That is why i'm going to make sure I 'chub up' before going through one...
Re:amusing (Score:3, Funny)
This is the most invasive government search
Well, the 2nd most. The most invasive search requires rubber gloves.
If only they would check prostates while they were at it, it would at least be medically worthwhile.
Re:amusing (Score:1, Funny)
I wonder if there is any law against going to the airport with half a pound of herbs strapped to my backside. That would confound the drug enforcers.
Me: "Hey, hands off bro, I'm working for the Colonel!"
TSA: "Wha?"
Me: "Show some respect. These are THE 11 herbs and spices"
At least I'll have a funny story to tell in the secret prison.
Re:Dignity is an essential human right. (Score:5, Funny)
Senator: "We must stop at nothing to prevent terrorist attacks!"
TSA1: "I can see your penis."
Senator: "Err....well...uhhhh..."
TSA2: "Your wife has nice tits, too."
Senator: "Now wait a just a minute..."
TSA3: "Mmm...barely legal T&A. Are you sure that daughter is yours?"
Senator: "May God smite you! I am outraged!"
TSA1: "Sir, you are behaving in an odd manner. I'm afraid we'll need to do a full cavity search."
TSA2: "The wife's mine."
TSA3: "Dibs on the daughter!"
Senator: "My God, what have I done?"
God: "Fucking idiot."
~X~