Thou Shalt Not View The Super Bowl on a 56" Screen

theodp writes "For 200 members of the Immanuel Bible Church and their friends, the annual Super Bowl party is over thanks to the NFL, which explained that airing NFL games at churches on large-screen TV sets violates the NFL copyright. Federal copyright law includes an exemption for sports bars, according to NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy, but churches are out of luck. Churchgoers who aren't averse to a little drinking-and-driving still have the opportunity to see the game together in public on a screen bigger than 55 inches."

So...

[rakuen]

If I have a 60" TV, and no one is around to watch it, does it violate copyright?

Re:CAUGHT!

[Wonko the Sane]

We've just prevented a very serious crime, people.

Which crime: exposing more people to football, or exposing more people to religion?

Oh yay

[ObjetDart]

Religion and football...two things that I couldn't possibly care less about. I hope they obliterate each other in a spectacular orgy of litigation.

Pffft. This is easy.

[Associate]

All the churches need are liquor licenses. They can sell communion wine and hot wings. Insta-church-sports bar. Eat that NFL. No one fucks with the Jesus.

Just another reason that ...

[ScrewMaster]

I'm glad I've never had an interest in organized sports. Such naked greed needs to be recognized by the medical profession as the mental illness that it is, and treated as such.

You heretics

[4D6963]

The real WTF is, people in the USA watch football in churches? How the fuck is that not somehow blasphemous?

Re:Superbowl

[Jugalator]

I heard it's something about sports they're crazy about in the USA, even more than the world cup in soccer, believe it or not! It's supposedly about bowling. :-p

Re:You heretics

[Stanislav_J]

The real WTF is, people in the USA watch football in churches? How the fuck is that not somehow blasphemous?

In some parts of the U.S., football is the dominant religion.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[Goldberg's Pants]

HAHAHA! Where is their God NOW?!

Thank god...

[jadin]

This is to keep church members from seeing 56 inch nipples.

Praise God

[blue l0g1c]

God obviously endorses the NFL. Look how many players are praying to him before, during, and after every game. It's a poor move on the NFL's part to slight Jesus in this manner.

Re:Pffft. This is easy.

[rishistar]

Exactly why he died a virgin.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[servognome]

HAHAHA! Where is their God NOW?!

At the bar I guess.

The simple solution?

[crossmr]

Is it still a 56" TV if there is a 1/2 inch strip of tape or something around the edge of the screen?
God invented duct tape for a reason.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[MarkRose]

At a bar, watching the game. Why else would they want to show the Superbowl at church? To bring God back, obviously.

Re:Why can live sports events be copyrighted?

[frieko]

Or in the case of a Patriots game, the whole thing is fixed! /cheap shot

Why does nobody else play American Football?

[MrSteveSD]

Both of Britain's main sports (Football and Cricket) are played quite widely internationally, yet American football does not seem to have taken the world by storm. I suppose one consolation of this is that the US always wins, but wouldn't it make more sense to concentrate all those resources on games that are more popular internationally?

Come to think of it, the other main US sport, Baseball, is not hugely popular around the world either. According to Wikipedia it is less popular than volleyball and table tennis. Maybe the US is onto something here. Perhaps we can copy this idea in Britain. We need to ditch the sports we keep losing at, like soccer, and invent a new one that nobody is interested in. Then we will finally be world champions :)

Simple Solution: More TVs!

[JasperDyne]

All the sports bars have multiple smaller TVs scattered throughout their premises. The churches should just borrow/rent/buy a few dozen 50" TVs and scatter them strategically throughout their halls. Maybe clergy can suggest that parishoners tithe their forthcoming Gommint "Save the Economy and Buy Stuff Now" checks to the task. In your face, NFL! Anyone know of a good dip recipe that goes with communion wafers?

Re:Cops? No. Lawyers, yes.

[Skim123]

Would they prosecute, though? What are their damages? Would it be worth the negative PR?

It's easy for me to say this, but if I were one of the elders of that Church I would encourage the congregation to watch together anyway. I'd call the NFL's bluff. Jesus was a pretty rebellious and rock the boat sort of guy. He didn't back down from the Roman's or Pharisees, he told people how it was, associated with unwed women and whores, and scared those in power. It's hard to imagine that a guy who was so brazen to cost him his life would balk at the threat of a lawsuit. He'd watch the game with his brethren, dammit!

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[OptimusPaul]

What!? As an american it is our duty to watch the super bowl. And as good god fearing men we are obligated to, that's why it's on Sunday. Now come on people let's follow the rules, there is nothing better than a day of bowling, especially super bowling... now when is it on?

Re:Oh yay

[c6gunner]

Apparently you're the kind of person who would have done nothing when the Nazis went to the ghettos and started their genocide, because they weren't coming for you. THis isn't about football or religion, but something worse.

I was reading your comment, thinking how you're getting such a raw-deal by being modded "Flamebait".....and then I hit this part:

I'll leave it to you to try and figure what that is, although I kind of doubt you lack the mental equipment that sort of introspection will require.

And then I giggled. And laughed. And almost fell out of my chair.

I think you only got modded flamebait because there's no "+1 OMG That's Hilariously Ironic" tag :) Remember, proof-read twice, post once. You'll avoid looking like a silly bastard.

The end result?

[Weaselmancer]

I'd call the NFL's bluff. Jesus was a pretty rebellious and rock the boat sort of guy. He didn't back down from the Roman's or Pharisees, he told people how it was, associated with unwed women and whores, and scared those in power.

And got crucified for it.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[CopaceticOpus]

Sweet, maybe their God and mine will patch things up over a few drinks!

Re:Why does nobody else play American Football?

[amRadioHed]

We need to ditch the sports we keep losing at, like soccer, and invent a new one that nobody is interested in.

I though that's what cricket was for.

Re:The end result?

[fahrbot-bot]

And got crucified for it.

That's why Jesus never went to college. Got nailed on the boards.

I say: throw the book at them

[nguy]

Church-going folks overwhelmingly voted for the corrupt Republicans that allowed copyright to take on these excessive forms in the first place. I say: throw the book at them. Sue them for criminal copyright infringement. Maybe once they get a taste of their own medicine, they'll think twice before voting another Bush into office.

NFL wants fewer people watching ads

[blitz487]

Obviously, the NFL wants fewer people watching their game and the advertisements. I will help them out by not watching the game or the ads.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[sempernoctis]

In local news, the Super Bowl party at Bill's house has also been canceled. Legal experts on the matter advise everyone watching the Super Bowl to do so in a room by themselves with the door locked to prevent any further violations.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[timeOday]

Being mostly ads, the Super Bowl is an instruction manual for the "economic stimulus" handout we're all running up our credit cards in expectation of.

Re:Good luck with that, NFL

[dabraun]

As an American it is my duty to watch the super bowl commercials. On Youtube.

As for the event itself ... When is that? What sport is that? I just know it's a source of funny commercials that should show up sometime in February.

I see a loophole

[jollyreaper]

Federal copyright law includes an exemption for sports bars, according to NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy, but churches are out of luck.

So what sets churches apart from sports bars, alcohol? So long as the churches have some water, I think I know a guy who can solve their problem.

Re:Ah, I read a different article where they were.

[OECD]

Do you go to the bathroom during commercials? Thief!

Re:Why does nobody else play American Football?

[dghcasp]

... invent a new one that nobody is interested in.

I think you Brits already have the market cornered on weird sports nobody else is interested in. Let's see, there's:

• Bog Snorkelling [wikipedia.org] - Basically, swimming 60 yard laps in glue. World record: 1 min 35. Video [youtube.com]
• The Eton Wall Game [wikipedia.org] - Spend half an hour pushing schoolboy's faces into a wall. In the rest of the world, this would be called "Bullying," but you have rules and teams, so it's not.
• The Gloucestershire Cheese Race [bbc.co.uk], where people who apparently can't afford to buy cheese instead risk their lives chasing a 7 lb cheese down a hill. Video. [youtube.com]
• And, of course, you Brits invented Extreme Ironing, [wikipedia.org] combining "the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt." Video of people ironing shirts at the south pole [youtube.com]