MS Seeks Patent On Virtual Fuzzy Dice

theodp writes "Microsoft just published a patent application for an adaptive heads-up user interface for automobiles. It covers, among other things, virtual fuzzy dice that appear to move with automobile movements."

Air freshener

[mattb112885]

Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.

I'll say!

[ClayJar]

Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.

I'll say. I can virtually smell you from here. :D

I have some...

[Anonymous Coward]

I have some fuzzy dangling things that they can try and patent.

What will they patent next...

[downix]

I can't wait till the virtual dancing hula girl arrives.... She could probably even dance to show you the direction to turn when plugged into your GPS.

Wonder if they will assist..

[CIANCHAMBLISS]

First Clippy, now Dicey?

Patent Coverage?

[OctoberSky]

Does this patent cover anything that sways when hung from a virtual car and virtually sways?

I'm really concerned about the virtual nutsack I have hanging from my virtual trailer hitch on my virtual truck.

Re:queue microsoft crash jokes

[mwvdlee]

Will there be a GPS-based clippy that gives directions to places you don't want to go?

Prior art

[Kazymyr]

I have had fuzzy dice that move with the car movements for as long as I can remember. And it's a mechanical device too, not your fancy digital dice. Now excuse me, I gotta go put holes in some punchcards.

Re:I have some...

[Anonymous Coward]

You can't patent man-breasts.

Virtual....

[JeremyGNJ]

I cant wait to get one so I can have...

My own....
Virtual......
Jesus

WTF? Dice? Nobody will pay for that!

[Colin Smith]

A huge finger on the other hand...

 

I don't care if it rains or freezes...

[Internet Ronin]

... as long as I got my digital Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car.

Re:queue microsoft crash jokes

[Kazymyr]

Gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"

Re:I have some...

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, I suspect Mr. Ballmer has already claimed that particular goldmine.

Re:Another driver's distraction!

[Anonymous Coward]

Virtual displays? Who needs 'em? Why, when I was young, you were lucky to have a windscreen at all, let alone a roof over your head. And these fancy 'automatic' transmissions. Who needs 'em? And now they have six, seven, even eight speeds! Why, we only had three, four of you counted reverse, and you had to select them yourself using a stick that came up through the floor boards. Why, the clutch was so heavy, my left leg was near twice the size of my right. And power hydraulic brakes, we had good steel links running to our drum brakes and they worked fine! Sure they would fade out on a long hill and leave you hanging on the horn hoping nobody pulled out in front of you while you zipped through town, but we liked 'em just fine! Intermittent wipers? We had 'em! Those old vacuum motors were about as intermittent as you could get! Stomp on the gas going up a big hill and the manifold would drop to zero and wipers would just freeze, leaving you charging up the hill with water streaming across the windscreen, if you were lucky enough to have one, the whole world a blurry mess. Of course, if you didn't have a windscreen, you could just wipe your glass goggles with the chamois back of your driving gloves, if you were lucky enough to have them.

Re:queue microsoft crash jokes

[Andrewkov]

"You appear to be in an accident, air bags are about to deploy. Cancel or Allow?"

So... What's Next?

[blcamp]

A patent on Virtual Flying Chairs?!

Re:I have some...

[CrtxReavr]

If you'd wipe better, you wouldn't have so much prior art.

-CR

Re:queue microsoft crash jokes

[somersault]

Heh.
"You appear to be crying out in pain, do you wish help writing a complaint to the manufacturer?"

"You appear not a DMV certified driver, HUD functions will be limited to wanted stars and health levels"

Re:Obviousness Criteria

[sqldr]

Hopefully this will fail the new obviousness criteria

I, on the other hand, hope that all of microsoft's other patents fail, and this is the only one they're left with in their entire portfolio. Fluffy dice.

Re:What will they patent next...

[morgan_greywolf]

Virtual bobbing chihuahua head. It detects when someone is tailgating and then, while bobbing up and down, it flips the driver the bird.

Re:Horn

[MrNiceguy_KS]

Don't forget Virtual Middle Finger! (tm)

Re:Wow, virtual fuzzy dice. How useless

[goldenrod3]

Better combustion technology, efficiency etc. blah blah, that would be far too sensible! How about a fast, small footprint, reliable, secure operating system with a clean, responsive interface? Instead we have Vista!!

Re:Finally...

[Alioth]

There'll be DRM, so it should really be "Where will we allow you to go today?"

Re:Great

[slashname3]

The other issue is that we finally get to experience the punch line to that old joke, stopping the car every 100 miles to reboot it.

And just think of all the accidents when the blue screen of death obscures the entire windshield...

Can they ....

[PPH]

...display virtual loose bits of paper, assorted junk and fast food wrappers that slide back and forth on my dashboard as I go around corners?

Re:Great

[Locutus]

Didn't you know that they had promoted the designer of Microsoft BOB to the auto research department?

LoB

Based on Vista?

[Micah_H]

You are attempting to brake at a stop sign. Cancel or Allow?

Fuzzy Dice Prior Art...???

[tmasman]

Um, isn't that already in use in a ton of other games already?
I know I saw it in Crazy Taxi (on the Dreamcast)...

Ug... This patent crap has gotten out of hand.
We should just scrap the whole pile of fuzzy dice & start over with a shorter available protection period & an easier means of shooting down invalid patent apps to begin with.

Re:Virtual....

[Zordok]

If it's virtual, how can you "reach out and touch faith"?