Court Denies Smucker's PB&J Patent 388
lbmouse writes "The AP is reporting that on Friday, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit rejected an effort by the Jelly & Jam maker to patent its process for making pocket peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." While the company was only trying to patent the "crimping process" used to create a specific type of mass market sandwich, they had also "...asked Albie's Foods of Gaylord, Mich., to stop producing ready-made PB&J sandwiches for a school district".
OMG! (Score:4, Funny)
IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! [ebaumsworld.com]
Damn.. (Score:4, Funny)
Oh man (Score:2, Funny)
Re:dot dot dot (Score:3, Funny)
In a post 9/11 world... (Score:5, Funny)
Trouble (Score:5, Funny)
Thank You! Thank You! (Score:2, Funny)
Slow news day... (Score:4, Funny)
With a name like Smucker's (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Damn.. (Score:1, Funny)
next thing you know (Score:5, Funny)
The article, with my analysis... (Score:4, Funny)
One of a kind way to make PB&J sandwiches. I hate to tell these asshats, I was making PB and Strawberry sandwiches for ages. When I was younger I used to cut the edge of the bread off, but today I need the extra fiber.
Maybe I should patent that I whipe my ass with the paper going upwards and not downwards. Who knows, maybe I am the only one who knows how to whipe an ass.
Patent examiners at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office disagreed, saying the crimped edges are similar to making ravioli or a pie crust.
Fuck, here comes Chef Boy-R-D and his patent lawyers. Someone tell that 90 year old woman she is no longer lawfully allowed to make her family dinner.
Smucker asked Albie's Foods of Gaylord, Mich., to stop producing ready-made PB&J sandwiches for a school district, but the food manufacturer went to a federal judge in 2001 and then the patent office to invalidate Smucker's original patent. Albie's was "caught off guard, literally, because they didn't think you could patent a peanut butter and jelly sandwich," said the company's lawyer, Kevin Heinl.
Can my girlfriend patent the blow job? She is damn good. She swirls her tounge, head down, but the eyes looking up like a puppy dog. Like "oh dear daddy, I love you". Just like that. Nobody else does it like her. I'd like to get a nickle everytime your girlfriend gives you a blow job.
The patent office received 376,810 patent applications last year. It usually takes about two-and-a-half years for a patent to be processed. About 65 percent of all patents submitted are approved, Quinn said.
There were over 200,000 patents approved last year? Sweet Jesus. I really should get around to a but whipe patent.
"Very few patents are what one would call a 'pioneer patent,' meaning that the inventor discovered something very, very new that has never been discovered before," she said. "Most patents are given to changes to existing technology."
I'll dip the toilet paper in water. That's it.
"We bought a unique idea for making an everyday item more convenient (and) made a significant investment in the idea and in developing the innovative manufacturing technology that makes Uncrustables so easy to use," the company said.
I wonder how this ruling will effect the Pop Tart corporation?
Smucker's stock price fell 30 cents on Friday to close at $49.67 on the New York Stock Exchange.
I can hear Gordon Gekko yelling "Bud FOX, Damn you!". I wish we knew how this PB&J thing really played out.
Re:In a post 9/11 world... (Score:2, Funny)
In Soviet Russia, Crimps sandwich you!
Re:ooohhh... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:As an aussie (Score:4, Funny)
Yeah, they can be a PITA like that.
KFG
Re:Thank You! Thank You! (Score:4, Funny)
This just goes to show how liberal activist judges are legislating from the bench. How would a real judge- like Judge Scalia- [ucomics.com] handle this? He knows the Constitution is a "dead document", and would have invoked the original intent of the framers.
Peanut butter didn't even exist until 1890. The original framers of the Constitution lived in the 1790s and would have been completely befuddled by the creamy tasty goodness of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Ergo, it is nonobvious, patentable, and the court was unjustified in rejecting Smuckers' efforts to patent the device.
Re:As an aussie (Score:2, Funny)
Re:OMG! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The article, with my analysis... (Score:5, Funny)
What has our society come to... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What's next - patenting how Mom makes Hash Brow (Score:1, Funny)
They got a patent on putting PB on both bread slices instead of just one!
Whoa.. That's how I've always made PBJ's. Not because of seepage, but because I LIKE PEANUT BUTTER.
I could've been rich. I could've had a big mansion in LA. I could be bangin' 2 hot chicks at the same time *right at this moment*.
Instead I try and work hard and earn money from my clients by doing a better job faster.
What a chump I am, eh?
Re:The article, with my analysis... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I wish someone would patent... (Score:4, Funny)
I would like to be free to whack the USPTO upside the head, without IP encumbrance.
Re:dot dot dot (Score:4, Funny)
Who gives a flying fuck?
Re:next thing you know (Score:4, Funny)
She hasn't tried the "I don't have a business license" excuse yet?
Whose cuisine will reign supreme? (Score:4, Funny)
Somebody pass me a foie gras and salmon roe pocket sandwich, I'm hungry. Today's theme ingredient is Intellectual Property!
Good Idea (Score:2, Funny)
Except, peanut products cause me to um... die. Now if they could just keep that from happening, that would be awesome!
Re:In a post 9/11 world... (Score:5, Funny)
Hmm... or...
In an post-9/11 world, if the jelly of terrorism seeps through the bread of freedom, then the terrorists have already won!
Re:What's next - patenting how Mom makes Hash Brow (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"Uncrustables" (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What's next - patenting how Mom makes Hash Brow (Score:3, Funny)
Re:In a post 9/11 world... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:OMG! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:OMG! (Score:2, Funny)
more mom techniques (Score:3, Funny)
Gee, when I was a kid, my mom taught me to put regular butter on the jam side for exactly that reason. If only we'd known it was such an "innovative" idea, I'd be the son of a millionaire right now!
Or maybe it's the use of peanut butter instead of regular butter that makes it quite so new and innovative and inobvious? Yeah, substituting peanut butter for butter on a PBJ - nobody would *ever* think of that!
Anyway, I just had myself a patent-violating sandwich to, er, celebrate.
Re:Jam, jelly, preserves, marmalade (Score:4, Funny)
class fruit_derived_topping:
# etc.
No, in Python thats:
Sausage egg and jam, bacon egg and jam,
(Viking chorus) Jam! Jam! Jam! Jam! Jam! Jam! Jam! Jam! Lovely Jam! Wonderful Jam!