Congress Sends Anti-Spam Bill To White House

sunbird writes "At just after 5 o'clock EST, the House concurred to the Senate's amendments to the Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003 (or "CAN-SPAM") (bill in PDF format: here or here). Although the bill will prohibit certain tactics (such as hiding return addresses), critics state that the bill does not go far enough (see this press release). The bill will provide criminal penalties for violations of its provisions (up to five years behind bars), but will not allow private parties to sue spammers. News reports indicate (SF Gate or Forbes) that Bush intends to sign the bill. Prior Slashdot articles are here: 1 2 3."

Re:This legalizes spam

[Vainglorious Coward]

That's why it's called the "CAN-SPAM" act. No trickery with naming there, nosir.

The United States Anti-Spam Bill

[EinarH]

We the Congress of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect spam heaven, establish Protection, insure domestic Annoyance, provide for the miserable defence, promote the general Chaos, and secure the Blessings of Financial Freedom to ourself and our Contributors, do ordain and establish this Anti-Spam Bill for the United States of America.

just caught this on CNN

[edrugtrader]

supposedly the bill was placed on the president's desk a few hours ago, but he threw it out thinking it was garbage.

Spam them

[anthony_dipierro]

Here's a list of the email addresses of all your Congressman. Maybe someone can whip together a script to send them an email asking them to repeal this law, every day until they opt out or repeal the law. Extra karma points for randomizing the title among non-misleading possibilities. Then we just gotta get every single slashdotter to run the program.

Re: [the ideal troll for this thread]

[adrianbaugh]

All it will take you to succeed with your inventive and novel product is to bring it to the world's attention. May I suggest a marketing campaign designed to target your audience rapidly and with discernment. I realise that commercial e-mail campaigns have had only limited success in the past, but feel that your product would make an ideal subject for such a campaign, blending the futuristic worlds of computer technology and biochemical research.
Remember: 1 hundred million emails can't be wrong. If we send a billion, someone might even buy something!
(It's funny. Laugh.)

contrived acronyms

[cabalamat2]

What we really need is a law to ban all laws with contrived acronyms.

what was that again?

[tloh]

the dyslexic in me read "Congress Sends **** Spam **** To White House". I wonder if Bush has as much use for penis enlargement pills as Clinton might have. Do you think Cheney would be interested in helping a nigerian banker's widow move 6 million USD out of africa?

okay, I have to go back to my boring life now.

Re:EST?

[Anonymous Coward]

I think there's some people in England that do.

Spam Bill

[isomeme]

Congress Sends Anti-Spam Bill To White House

...White House Spam Filter Deletes It.

(Yes, as a matter of fact I did steal that from The Onion, why do you ask?)

Re:How can a private party not sue?

[Russ Nelson]

Is that from the Constitution or something? They repealed that back in 1865. Where have you been?
-russ

How to get Bush to take REAL action against spam

[still cynical]

Tell Cheney they've discovered oil where spammers are located. Watch the bombs start falling.

Re:just caught this on CNN

[Feztaa]

From: [e-mail]
To: [e-mail]
Subject: T1RED 0F SPAM? PASS THIS B1LL TODAY, YOU WON'T R3GRET IT!

WE PR0MISE A REDUCT1ON IN SPAM WITH1N 0NE WEEK, OR YOUR MONEY B4CK!

ALSO, GET LARGER PEN1S, FULLER LIPS, BIGGER BREA5T, BETTER ER3CTIONS, AND IMPROVE YOUR LOVE L1FE!

Re:This legalizes spam

[DickBreath]

Of course this legalizes spam.

Why do you think they call it the CAN-spam bill?

Why didn't they call it the

1. Anti-spam bill?
2. Stop-spam bill?
3. Castrate all spammers bill?

This Is Actually GREAT News!

[Dynamic Ranger]

You might think spam is a curse, but if this bill actually stopped spam, just think how many companies would see down-spiraling sales due to decreased advertising audience. That would bad news for the economy; for shareholders and employees alike.

By passing this law, the hopefully spam-jammed internet should create increased demand for bandwidth and therefore increase sales in infrastructure hardware as well as spamming and anti-spamming software. IANA economist, but that should boost the stock market pretty good!

Finally, far be it from my to suggest slashdotters are unpatriotic, but would it kill any of you to actually BUY something from an email advertisement? Why not do your part to keep your country's economy moving?

Also, don't we owe some gratitude to the legislators who have our index funds' best interests at heart?

Re:just caught this on CNN

[bopo]

Based on those keywords, I imagine that got forwarded on to [e-mail].

Re:This legalizes spam

[pitchpipe]

"And as much as we wish to make anything we find uncomfortable illigal" I find your spelling of the word illegal uncomfortable, therefore it should be made illegal. ;)

Re:Another Law

[Anonymous Coward]

I suspect you're a troll, but assuming you're not...

You Are a FUCKING MORON!!!

Re:contrived acronyms

[fluxrad]

Yes. We must pass the "Funding Unintelligable and Congressional Keywords Against Collaborative, Resourcive, Onerous, Nefarious, Yellow, Meaningless, and Solutions" bill!

Citizens of the US: We must make the "FUCK ACRONYMS" law a reality!

My Unsubscribe / Opt-Out Reply Is

[Anonymous Coward]

500 megabytes in length. Now that spammers have to start using valid return addresses, maybe they'll start receiving and honoring my unsubscribe request.

Congress mass mails Anti-Spam Bill To White House

[mr_z_beeblebrox]

In a bizarre bit of twenty first century irony, Congress has begun using zomby computers all over the internet to flood the white house with copies of the anti spam bill.
"The president said I am tired of people e-mailing me about penis enlargement etc.... I want to receive something substantial about reducing spam. I guess we misunderstood him to mean that was what he wanted in his inbox" said Tom Daschle.
"The worst thing about this e-mail is that the last line says 'The president of the United States hopes that you will send this to 75 of your closest friends' That guarantees we will see this for a long while" states Dick Cheney.

Re:This legalizes spam

[That's Unpossible!]

I tolerate advertising on billboards and on TV because it (allegedly) keeps prices down and pays for other things. Spam has none of these benefits.

Sure it does ... keeps those prices on bandwidth and hard drives down due to all the demand!

(You gotta look at the bright side.)