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Apple Lawyering Up On "Fake Steve Jobs"
Posted by
kdawson
on Saturday December 22, @10:25PM
from the end-of-the-blog-as-we-know-it dept.
from the end-of-the-blog-as-we-know-it dept.
An anonymous reader sends us to The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs for a developing situation. Daniel Lyons, a.k.a. Fake Steve Jobs, made a post earlier today revealing that Apple was offering him some money (in the wake of the ThinkSecret shutdown) to close down his blog. He said he was interested in taking it. A few hours later, Lyons posted again revealing that Apple's lawyers had contacted him angrily, saying the details of the deal were supposed to remain private. Fake Steve replied 'we either deal out in the open, completely transparently, or we don't deal.' A third post gives details of Apple's lawyers' next response, going totally medieval on him. Since then the situation has calmed down a bit.
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Firehose:Apple Offering 'Fake Steve' Cash to Close Shop by Anonymous Coward
Apple Lawyering Up On "Fake Steve Jobs"
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I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
It's also possible that fake Steve is being... fak (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (Score:5, Informative)
Re:It's also possible that fake Steve is being... (Score:5, Insightful)
If it's a joke, which it appears to be, I think Apple would be completely justified in going after him.
Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I really think it might be a good idea ... (Score:5, Funny)
Well, the Danes are certainly involved, but it's the pigs who are committed.
and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2... (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:and when he shuts down...the fake steve jobs 2. (Score:5, Interesting)
I remember back in the System 7/8 days when in a 0.0.x update they modified the CD-ROM driver to no longer work with non-apple CD ROM drives. All you had to do to "fix" it was go open the driver in ResEdit and change two bytes, but still.
Apple has always been about proprietary, closed in, locked down platforms. They've generally wanted to be Microsoft, but control the hardware too. None of this is new---nor should it be surprising.
Apple doesn't bother with this - it's a hoax (Score:4, Insightful)
But it sure gets danny a lot of free publicity. Danny is a pure fiction writer. Danny is laughing up his sleeve right now, because of the slashdotters he fooled.
god (Score:1, Informative)
thats enough for me to say NO to future purchase of any apple products!
Re:god (Score:4, Funny)
thats enough for me to say NO to future purchase of any apple products!
At least, until the iPhone comes out in lime green...
Re:god (Score:4, Insightful)
I agree. Whenever any Apple-using friends of mine trot out the line that "Apple is a better company than Microsoft", I just point out stuff like this.
sounds like some laws must have been broken (Score:4, Interesting)
Aren't US Banks and financial institutions legally obligated to protect your private information such as the terms of your mortgage and the details of your bank and investment accounts?
Re:sounds like some laws must have been broken (Score:4, Informative)
I'm just glad... (Score:3, Insightful)
I'm sure someone is going to mod me for flamebait, but I never understand the people who insist Apple is the greatest company of the fan of the planet when there is plenty of proof that Apple is a corporation (for better or worse) on par with most corporations.
Re:I'm just glad... (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:I'm just glad... (Score:4, Informative)
It is simple, people need heroes (Score:5, Insightful)
Humans are simple creatures, we need the world defined in goodies and baddies, that often means having to make the choice of the lesser of two evils, and not always getting it right.
Godwin time perhaps, in WW2 who are the goodies and who are the baddies? You have the axis and the allies. Well Japan and Germany clearly belong in the baddies groups, these are evil nations whose people have not a single redeeming quality. The role of Italy and and Austria is slightly more complex. Italy often seems to be able to shrug of the worsed of the holocaust.
But the goodies? The US of A? Hitler went to the east for lebensraum, the americans trekked to the west and killed the people already living there. What is the difference between a sign that says "Geine Juden" and "No Blacks"?
England? Talk about a country bend on taking over the world, it made an empire out of astraucities. The soviet union/russia? Well at least Stalin could never be called a racist, he had entire populations wiped out of all sorts. Equality of a kind I suppose.
Yet we must pick and in popular culture that often means we gloss over the "truth" to present one side in a better light. You might have noticed that in the recent WW2 tv series Band of Brothers absolutly no mentions is made of the US army policies regarding blacks or those with ancestors from Japan?
Part of the final solution was to deport jews to remote areas where they could be controlled/wiped out. Explain to me the motivations between Indian reservations and the rather diminsied population figures of native americans?
In WW2 there were only baddies, just that some at that particulair time were not as active as others and depending on your own background some weren't intrested in being very bad to you at that moment. Why string up a jew when blacks are so much more fun?
Yet we need to have a hero, and so we make one, by putting on blinders.
Steve Jobs is a figure in IT, there are many others, but he can be very closely linked to Bill Gates, an obvious baddy (although once seen as a hero freeing us from the evil IBM, a company that is now often seen as a goodie).
What really is the difference between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates apart from income? It is a well known part of computer history that it was Steve Jobs own (what is the word, incompetence, arrogance) that handed Bill Gates the PC market. Apple, IBM, Commodore, Atari etc etc all screwed up at a crucial point leaving Wintel to rule the market. A lot has been written about it already, including on slashdot.
But just imagine that Steve Jobs hadn't made what ever mistake it was he made and that Apple had come to rule the PC market, what then? Would it have been any better? Imagine that the holocaust had never happened, would the US be the evil country for its treatment of blacks, would it have continued like South Africa? How much did the realization of the holocaust change american opinion on its own treatment of a part of the population?
Apple has never been any more open with its software then Microsoft has. While MS software has always been bug prone, I have to say that the most crashy PC I have ever seen was running OS9. Supporting DRM, are we talking about Steve "Disney" Jobs here? Sony is often a villain when it comes to consumer rights, but when did Apple ever fight a legal battle FOR fair use?
But we need a hero, and so we make one, reality be damned. The sad part is that we got real heroes in IT, Stallman in front, but that person is WAY to much of a hero. People often insultingly try to compare him to Jezus but I personally see that as a rather important clue as to real heroes who truly stand for something. The person of jezus, if he was real, was a real pain in the ass for the powers that be, even his own followers. Really read the bible and you find a guy who was kicking against a lot of pedastals and upsetting people. Very confenient he was killed and that the pleps couldn't read and that the powers that be could tell their people what Jezus had RE
Control? (Score:5, Insightful)
I'm always confused by Apple on matters like this; a lot of these people are key in building & maintaining hype in Apple products. If Apple (apple legal?) had their way, it seems like there'd be... well... Apple.com and a few keynotes every year as the only way people would learn details of (and think of?) new products.
I'm a big Apple fan & I love their approach of using/contributing to open source software where it makes sense to improve their products - but their marketing and PR people seem at odds with their engineering attitude (especially with their solution-oriented attitude recently with iPhone, Apple TV compared to their key skill as a superb platform (NB. this point was blatantly stolen from Wil Shipley's blog)). I know PR people think about things completely differently from engineers but you'd think that was a company attitude, not just with the people making the magic
Actionable Items (Score:4, Insightful)
Since when was parody actionable?
Guys... It's probably a joke. (Score:5, Informative)
One from the real Steve Jobs:
RSJ just responded to my email, saying, "I think this is a joke."
I'm a bit annoyed by this, since I was defending you, and now look something of a fool.
I wrote a bit of an inflammatory email to sjobs@apple.com, and actually got a response.
Here is the text of the conversation (read bottom to top, of course)
I think this is all a joke. And I think you fell for it.
Steve
On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:35 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm not sure who I've reached here, but in the interest of finishing what you start, this is what I'm referring to:
http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/12/thanks-for-your-support.html [blogspot.com]
On Dec 22, 2007, at 5:29 PM, Steve Jobs wrote:
What, praytell, are you talking about?
On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:01 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm an admitted Apple fanboy, but I can't say I admire this. I would have thought you all would have appreciated the affectionate satire rather than being unaccountable assholes.
Gary Baldwin
Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (Score:5, Interesting)
You are mistaken. Steve reads his mail, and has been known to rebuke Apple VPs who don't. It's Bill Gates who has the team of flacks to filter his mail for him.
-jcr
Re:Guys... It's probably a joke. (Score:5, Interesting)
-jcr
a joke? (Score:3, Interesting)
I really do hope this is a joke, Apple doesn't have much to gain pulling a stunt like this...
Someday... (Score:2)
But Apple loves their lawyers and relishes their litigation. And I predict that soon they will go too far, and when they do they will experience a backlash that makes Sony hate seem like mild annoyance. The greater the love lost, the greater the hate that remains.
And people say Microsoft is evil? (Score:1)
Apple isn't good at winning? (Score:1)
Joke... (Score:2)
Ah yes, Dan Lyons... (Score:5, Insightful)
Not exactly a paragon of virtue himself... and not above conducting business in public when it suits him, and in private when he can get away with it.
This guy also thought SCO was a sure winner and wasn't very polite about the Linux community.
Right to privacy? (Score:1)
How can they even get this info? Aren't your financial details meant to be private, even in the US?
If I was him I'd be looking a suing Apple for threats/blackmail and also suing the investment comapnies for releasing that info to strangers. At least I'd move the money to someone else.
EFF? (Score:4, Interesting)
Assuming that this is true, this doesn't shed too good a light on the EFF. Isn't the EFF supposed to help bloggers that are being attacked by large corporations, regardless of what is posted on the blog and, in particular, of whether the person likes the EFF? At least, isn't that what people who donate to the EFF expect it to do?
Re:EFF? (Score:5, Insightful)
Do you really believe that? Parts of this hoax were believable, but the EFF part was obviously a joke.
If that doesn't tell you it's a joke... (Score:5, Insightful)
Shame on the lot of you. This is supposed to be a smart crowd here. Don't let your bias get to the point where you just look foolish. It's xmas, it's the weekend, but Apple lawyers are firing off quick replies that are increasingly brutal despite their previous emails all going directly public via FSJ? Come on, nerds, use your brains.
Re:EFF? (Score:5, Informative)
Speaking personally, I do prefer Daniel Lyons when he's writing fiction like this, to when he's acting as a journalist and penning articles talking about the dangers of anonymous blogs [forbes.com], and how you should shut them up by using the DMCA or by suing them [forbes.com]. That wasn't funny advice to give to businesses, and could have got them in non-fictional legal trouble real fast.
Not shocking (Score:1, Insightful)
As I've been accused of being a MS tool in the past, I will always maintain they are the lesser of three evils when compared to the other contenders that could have won out. Apple and IBM.
So while it's currently "cool" to think of Apple as the hippy-happy company. Realize they are anything but. Job's paints a pretty picture. Just realize he's going to tell you which room and which wall to hang it on. Or he won't let you buy it.
Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Is everyone on Slashdot a frigtard? (Score:5, Funny)
You're barking up the wrong tree. I expect stories posted here to be accurate for the most part. I'm not expected to be an expert on the stories, enough to call "BS" on them. You're post is utter crap. If this is a fake, the onus is on this site, not us that read this site.
It's a hoax. (Score:5, Informative)
Dan Lyons had me fooled, since he was not in character as FSJ, and really did sound scared. I sent an e-mail to SJ about it, expressing the concerns that any shareholder would have if this situation were true, and he replied.
He told me, quote:
I think this is a joke.
Steve
-jcr
I've said ti before and I'll say it again (Score:3, Insightful)
But then buying Apple products is the same except it starts with a new house and works it's way back to the dress, car, and kitchen appliances which can only come from the same company that built the house.
I am constantly amazed with the people who flock to Apple when they do the same thing at the hardware level that Microsoft does at the software level and that is product line lock in.
The major reason Apple lost the numbers war to Microsoft is that Windows and it's related products were allowed to run on any IBM PC clone while Jobs wanted to control every aspect of the Apple and sued out of existence the very people who were trying to clone an Apple and extend the user base of Apple and Apple-like products. Microsoft doesn't really care about pirated software in third world countries as long as the computers are running Microsoft products. They have a foot hold on future sales when the dust clears from law suits and the users are socialized into thinking that Microsoft is the only product they can use. As long as it's not Linux/x386BSD/Apple they are willing to tolerate pirating because it extends the base of users of MS technologies.
While Apple may make a better product overall (remember Mac OS is FreeBSD under the covers) they will always be only a niche market because Jobs is a worse control freak than Gates. --
Re:I've said ti before and I'll say it again (Score:5, Insightful)
Really? I run Mac OS X and Windows XP on my Mac, and if I wanted to I could have my pick of Linux or BSD variants that work on Intel on my Mac.
And since my iMac is really nothing but a glorified Intel-based laptop on a stand, I'm not exactly sure what part of the hardware locks me in. Perhaps it's these proprietary USB and Firewire ports on the back that only allow me to attach Apple-only peripherals. Perhaps it's the built in Pioneer DVD-RW that Apple nicknames the "Superdrive" that allows me to only burn on Apple branded discs to Apple-only formats. (If only I could manage to read ISO files, perhaps even go as far as to mount them as a new drive when I double clicked on them). If only Steve Jobs wasn't such a channel-controlling, OEM bullying monopolistic control freak...
Seriously, people (Score:5, Insightful)
(2) The EFF would never say that.
(3) If Lyons has a contract to continue the blog, then his employer would most certainly be fielding the lawyers, because if anything were actionable, they'd be liable too. (duh) So his "I've already paid a ton for a lawyer" was another giveaway.
What's hilarious is that Real Steve Jobs (or at least someone acting on his behalf) took the time to reply to a few angry readers who emailed him.
Nice posts though. FSJ rocks.
Remembering Dan Lyons (Score:1)
Slashdot has a complete absense of humor (Score:2)
Many of you would do well to remember that FSJ is a parody blog, sometimes at its finest, sometimes not so much.
Those of you kneejerk types can also rest easy in the fact that because FSJ is a parody blog, it doesn't have any actual news content or any "rumors" worth suing over either.
Re:Slashdot has a complete absense of humor (Score:5, Insightful)
Zip your lip about Apple! (Score:1)
A clarification or retraction is called for (Score:5, Insightful)
Apple does enough things that genuinely warrant criticism. Inventing a story like this, and publicising it as fact, is unconscionable.
This guy just pulled off the biggest April Fools (Score:5, Insightful)
Not only has he baited those of us who read the FSJ blog, but he has also baited every Microsoft fanboy and Apple fanboy who read his blog, who don't read his blog, and now Slashdot.
If the Internet ever gave out trophies, this guy deserves at least 5. Maybe 6.
Very interesting story (Score:2)
Publicity stunt methinks... (Score:1)
Have a look:
Fake Steve Jobs gets takedown letters from Apple... or not [engadget.com]
The point of the hoax (Score:2, Insightful)
I believe Fake SJ was attempting to point out how incredibly believable this scenario has become, due to Apple's declining public image. Five years ago, if someone had pulled a stunt like this, no one would have believed it. Today, people were emailing Real SJ, without any doubt that Apple would sue a satire. The absurd has become reality.
Strange... (Score:2)
Admit it: those of you who bought into it initially did so because you could totally believe lawyers doing something like that based on real stories in the past. It's not really all that unbelievable.
this is the perfect fight (Score:2)
Facepalm (Score:2, Insightful)
lawyers (Score:2)
Disclaimer: I deal with lawyers almost daily in my day job.
This is so typical of lawyer-thinking. It's unbelievable. For 20 years or so, managers are taught about "win-win" and "synergy" and "cooperative negotiatitons". Lawyers, meanwhile, are stuck in a "us against them" and "we must win" mindset. All of them (with rare exceptions).
I don't know what, exactly, it is about the study of law that turns you into that kind of human, but I know CEOs of large companies, senior managers, the lot - and the lawyers are more aggressive and stubborn than almost all of them.
So, in summary, if your dog is too nice and didn't eat the last wannabe-burglar, buy a lawyer and chain him in the garden, he is guaranteed to be more vicious.
Lyons is funny, in a trollish sort of way (Score:3, Interesting)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLpxX9vqr5c [youtube.com]
He says that intentionally introducing little errors (Lissabon vs Lebanon etc.) and watching the angry letters and corrections roll in is "better than sex".
The video is well worth watching, though, also for some other insights into how the business publishing world works (e.g., Icahn placing stories that paint a bleak picture of Motorola in order to get rid of Zander).
He may well have invented this entire legal stuff as a publicity stunt. If so, he may have crossed the line.
Extortion is the new growth industry! (Score:2)
The scox-scum made millions from their extortion efforts. Seems clear that msft is behind Acacia bogo lawsuit agiant Redhat as well. Looks like Lyons was offered some extortion loot as well.
With real estate in the toilet, and IT jobs getting offshored, and all. I think extortion may be the new growth industry.
Think about it: there is no down side. You have people pay you to not file nuisance lawsuits against them. How can you lose?
citations please .. (Score:2)
Real Dan Lyons can kiss my ass. (Score:3, Interesting)
How about fake journalist? Fake analyst? Fake intellectual?
The guy is firmly attached to the corporate teat, and things like
Linux scare him to death, because he can't figure out how to make
money on it. When Fake SCO came along, he started spouting anti-Linux
vitriol at every turn; here's just a sample;
"In other words, like many religious folk, the Linux-loving crunchies
in the open-source movement are a) convinced of their own
righteousness, and b) sure the whole world, including judges, will
agree."
http://www.forbes.com/2003/06/18/cz_dl_0618linux_print.html [forbes.com]
Of course, when it turned out we Linux supporters had it right all
along, Dan jumped off of the SCO bandwagon while it was hurtling
downhill at warp speed, and he nearly broke both of his ankles in the
process. His "apology" basically blamed Darl McBride, saying all Dan
did was repeat what Darl and company told him. Excuse me? You're
trying to pawn yourself off as a journalist, yet you take the word of
a litigious, all hat, no cattle wannabe cowboy, and then fail to
research the whole story?
If anything, Dan Lyons is an even worse shill than Rob Enderle - at
least Rob has the decency to reply to people directly, as he has done
with me on several occasions; Dan is too chickenshit to admit he was
wrong, on his own accord.
(I'd bring up the poor quality of his "blook" here, but that would
mean I'd have to detail all of the material he blatantly stole from
the regulars of the Yahoo SCOX message board, which I don't have the
time for right now; I will say that when you read the material there,
you've gotten exactly what you paid for; I don't see how Dan can live
with himself for trying to *charge* for it in print!) -saltydogmn on
Yahoo SCOX
P.S. Dan, if you're reading this, make sure to have Darl send me my $699/cpu invoice for running Linux on my computers; I have 3 of them, including this IBM laptop; 2 running Kubuntu, and 1 Xubuntu. Where should I send the check, and, more importantly, WHY? kthxbye
Cue real lawsuit in 3... 2... 1... (Score:4, Interesting)
It was all fun and games until he started flat-out lying about Apple and the EFF (just like he'd already flat-out lied about SCO and Linux). I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find either of them really suing them now, say for libel and defamation of character. Way to go, dumbass.
It's a joke (Score:2)
This kind of threat-making can completely invalidate the initial objectives of the suit, because the company might end up paying more than the defendant and lawers will be involved on a criminal case. A friend of mine once received a letter with this kind of threat ("look! this is how much your house is worth and you need to think about your children!") and the laywer ended up in prison, because his attempt to solve the issue with extortion instead of the law was considered as criminal.
If you're negotiating a legal case, you can't even TALK about how much a person's house is worth, if the house is not the subject of the suit. Laywers can't EVER sound like they're threatening to ruin your life because of [put random business-related issue here]. They can take steps to actually try ruining it, but they can't use that possibility as a means of negotiation. There are even specific laws regarding that situations, besides common extortion and blackmail laws.
What a bunch of... (Score:1)
FSJ has revealed the punchline (Score:2)
Apple parodies Bill Gates... (Score:1)
on their commercials (PC Guy) but finds any mocking of
the holy father as sacrilege.
How does it feel... (Score:1)
Title change needed (Score:3, Insightful)
DRAMA! (Score:1)
Has not anyone else noticed the tag ‘DRAMA’? It is a drama!
Jim H (Score:2)
Related Links (Score:1)
Compare prices on Apple Products
Compare prices on Legal Items
Wouldn't Illegal Items be more...fun?
A moral for our technical age (Score:2)
Then, slowly, it dawns on you that you just may have been had. So what do you do? You still hate Steve Jobs, so it must be true! Okay, so this isn't true, but they'd do that! They're much worse that Microsoft! They're all evil corporations! Linus forever!
This is not critical thinking, boys. When you hear a declaration of any kind, it should make you think: is that true? Do I know enough to say that's true? When it's an involved thing, like a story about Apple, lawyers, a columnist, the law, you really have to get down into the story and check it out. Of course, once you're in on the joke, it's perfectly clear how fraudulent, and how funny, the whole thing is. But like most good satire, the real subject is how and why people get "put on." The sadistic part is watching people running around here like chickens with their head chopped off. But it should be a warning to all you headless chickens. Learn how to make quick assessments of whether something's likely true or not, and how to figure out why you fell for the con. Because if you can get conned so easily, all your technical knowledge is nothing.
Re:Poison Apple (Score:2)
Yeah, contributing commercial OS source code to the OSS community is a terrible, terrible thing. Apple uses a lot of OSS code, but Apple gives back even more. The whole BSD layer, which includes a lot of superb library code developed at Apple -- not brought in from outside -- is available under APSL. Apple is also a major contributor to a number of other open source projects. My, what a terrible, terrible company. They really should steal OSS and not tell anyone else they're using it like the rest of the industry.
Re:Damn, you Slashdot commentards are dense! (Score:1)