Omniscience Protocol 356
solidox writes "There is a new RFC discussing the Omniscience Protocol.
It proposes that every computer be installed with an OP Client which would allow law enforcement ('Good guys.') and copyright holders (RIAA, MPAA) to remotely destroy the computer of any user who has been involved in copyright infringement ('evil-doer'). The client will be completely undetectable and unremovable by even the most skilled hacker. It also must be able to report to the server at any time. 'The OP must be able to communicate through uncooperative firewalls, NATs, and when the computer is disconnected from the Internet.' So if your computer randomly blows up in the next while, you can put the blame on this."
Old News! (Score:5, Funny)
(Call me before they go gold with the omega release, though...)
Re:goddamn, this isn't FUNNY, it's STUPID! (Score:3, Insightful)
Except that a picture isn't speech. Even if you don't believe that line, the pictures would be of the commission of a felonious assault, and I believe, illegal. Since that is a stretch, let's step away from the actual subject. Photographers, to use their pictures, must have the consent of everyone in the picture to distribute it. Unless the rape vic
Scariest thing I have every read (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Scariest thing I have every read (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Scariest thing I have every read (Score:2)
No! First an RIAA spy program on my computer in clear violation of the 3rd Amendment, and now MY MOTHER? Sick, sick world...
Re:Scariest thing I have every read (Score:2, Funny)
Read the RFC (date) (Score:2)
Re:Read the RFC (date) (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hello? Check the date (Score:2, Insightful)
go along with the joke?
Or, as a certain AC around here is fond of saying:
No shit, sherlock!
Re:Hello? Check the date (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Scariest thing I have every read (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why? (Score:3, Funny)
Happy April Fool's Day. D@mn I'm dumb...
Re:Why? (Score:2)
Re:Why? (Score:3, Funny)
The government would never allow this. No way.
Re:Scariest thing I have every read (Score:3, Funny)
Hail the computer! The computer is our friend!
Remote Destruction (Score:5, Funny)
This statement reminded me of the "hacker" from the movie The Core [imdb.com], who asked for an unlimited supply of hotpockets and Xena tapes. But I've seen this post before, or is it deja vu? Fact is, any system that can be built, can be bypassed, so I don't know what the hell he's talking about.
Re:Remote Destruction (Score:2)
But if it's not undetectable, it can't be removed. Pretty scary stuff, if you ask me. Undetectable software should be illegal.
Who cares about the RFC.. (Score:5, Funny)
Finally! (Score:5, Funny)
communicate disconnected from the internet? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:communicate disconnected from the internet? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:communicate disconnected from the internet? (Score:2)
Set up a repeating fire tesla coil device, such as a stun gun or camera flash with the leads exposed, and place if very near your computer case. It must arc constantly to be effective. I have a friend who uses a jacob's ladder for this purpose, but I haven't tested that solution. You may have to provide additional ventilation to prevent ozone buildup.
Conspiracy alert! - the feds are on to this idea and have wor
Re:communicate disconnected from the internet? (Score:2)
I found the most effective way of keeping the RIAA and evil government officials out of your computer is to wrap the whole thing in about 1000 to 3000 turns of insulated copper wire the more the better. then take both bare ends and tie it to a modulated voltage source, the MAINS voltage that the PC runs off of will do best as it's the same frequency that the Evil doers will be using so effectively cancelling out what they do. now powering up t
Why? (Score:3, Funny)
Misprint (Score:5, Funny)
I think they actually meant:
"to remotely destroy the user of any computer who has been involved in copyright infringement"
Me Scared? (Score:2)
1. In a free market force everyone (100% of all people) to use a protocol. Um I will make and OS that doesn't use it.
2. Make a protocol where only the good guys can do damage. Um I am a bad guy working for the good guys, now what.
3. Undetectable and Unremovable if someone can install it, it can be removed. Its is only magnetic bits.
4. Goes threw any firewall. Ummm it is still bits I can still block any that I don't expect.
5. When the computer is disconnected from the internet?
Re:Me Scared? (Score:2)
2 is simple: If you have access to a destruction server, you are by definition good guy.
3 is possible with help of 1, if by "uninstallable" you mean "cannot be uninstalled without rendering the complete machine inoperable, except by changing hardware".
4 is possible if you control the firewall. See 1.
5 is avoidable through 1 again: Just have your DRM bios render the machine
sigh (Score:3, Insightful)
The only news on
Re:sigh (Score:2)
OK, Here [bbspot.com] you [bbspot.com] go [bbspot.com]!
Re:sigh (Score:2)
Will this be based on RFC 3514? (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc3514.html
It's going to be a loooong day. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's going to be a loooong day. (Score:2)
Simply patheticc. (Score:2, Flamebait)
This is the most imaginative idea someone could come up with for an April fools joke?
You are kidding, right?
Re:Simply patheticc. (Score:5, Insightful)
It's actually called Palladium, and Microsoft is rolling it out together with Longhorn. The necessary hardware modification, in the form of TCPA or the Phoenix DRM bios, are already around the corner.
Re:Simply patheticc. (Score:2, Funny)
They don't need Palladium for that (Score:4, Interesting)
And btw, Palladium is all they need to force the issue, because Palladium prevents you from installing the kind of software that would counteract that -- because it might cause problems with copyright. This includes Linux, afaik -- you honestly can't expect me to ask Microsoft to sign every kernel build I make?
Unless these "features" can be turned off, for the record, I will use this machine until it rusts before I buy something which will not let me run Linux.
Mod on April Fools Day (Score:2)
Re:Mod on April Fools Day (Score:5, Funny)
Gullible: adj, easily fooled.
(And they told me "gullible" wasn't in my dictionary)
Not funny (Score:2)
I think a senator even supported this idea.
Re:Simply patheticc. (Score:2)
Re:Simply patheticc. (Score:2)
Re:Simply patheticc. (Score:2)
oh please (Score:2, Funny)
Maybe its just me, but this sounds like a pile of crap. Aside from the fact that its just a ridiculous concept...name something that can be installed that even a skilled "hacker" can't edit, work around, or completely remove.
Evil Bit (Score:2)
Re:Evil Bit (Score:2)
Oh crap!!! (Score:2)
Wait, April Fool's? *phew* I got scared there, now I can take care of some business to kick off the day
Now I trust that the federales won't REALLY go after me today, cause that would be evil
Comment removed (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:SPAM Mails are more believable (Score:2)
Re:SPAM Mails are more believable (Score:4, Funny)
Re:SPAM Mails are more believable (Score:2)
Re:SPAM Mails are more believable (Score:2)
Infringing Copyright (Score:2)
Power lines and other shortcomings (Score:5, Funny)
So I doubt this RFC would gain adoption without those things.
Re:Power lines and other shortcomings (Score:5, Funny)
NEVER. (Score:2, Funny)
Hah! (Score:5, Funny)
wow (Score:2)
it has to be believable for it to work, maybe next year everyone will try harder.
Good And Bad (Score:2)
This 1984, only 20 years later, but much more real, and much more sinister. In terms of protection of civil liberties, the world is heading south so far, it won't be long before it emerges back from north.
And there are other issues too. What if this falls into the hands of the "Bad Guys" they seek to destroy. What if it malicious crackers e
Heh. (Score:2)
Cool! (Score:2)
Someone Mod Me Offtopic (Score:2, Offtopic)
Everyone take a clue: if your joke isn't believable, subtle, or even remotely funny, don't submit it.
This stuff is just plain stupid.
Oh really (Score:2)
If you believe that is doable I have some oceanfront property in Colorado I'd love to sell you...
C'mon, get more creative than that (Score:2)
Solving the Internet connection problem (Score:2)
That Blamed Evil Bit (Score:2, Funny)
Quit posting these april fools jokes. (Score:3, Insightful)
You down with OPP? (Score:2)
I used to have an alpha of this on my system (Score:2)
The best part has to be... (Score:2)
sob@harvard.edu?
Yeah...
Best April Fools Joke (Score:2)
4/1 TCPA Relabeling (Score:2)
Great!
Let's go for it, just as soon as the levels of trustworthiness and responsibility become equal to the level of power.
Missing the Point (Score:2)
A Little Slow (Score:2)
Have we learned nothing?
My God (Score:3)
hostile servers (Score:2)
Now THAT was a prank (Score:2)
For those of you new to slashdot, April 1st is normally a "non-stuff that matters" day around here. Today is all about nerds playing jokes on the uninformed.
My favorite joke was the Parrot Prank [oreilly.com] which involved everyone's favourite publisher O'Reilly [oreilly.com]. T
Good one (Score:2)
While they make a good case about how impossible it is to determine legal jurisdiction and determine the existance and nature of legal violations, the technical issues that they raise with this RFC would mostly be solved by pervasive DRM. Eventually, every PC, every NAT/router box, etc will have embedded DRM, and you won't be able to stop the deployment and invisibility of something like OP with DRM (with keys controlled by all the wrong people) in your way.
If this weren't an April Fool's Joke... (Score:2)
The funny thing is ... (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, So What? (Score:2)
So what? You're describing Longhorn. It's been posted about 4 million times on Slashdot. Big deal, by then Linux will rule the desktop. And as long as Microsoft has their greedy little incompetent fingers in there, my mamma could hack it using only her Palm Pilot and Froogle.
I'm not worried.
Re:Yeah, So What? (Score:2)
Re:Yeah, So What? (Score:3, Funny)
hmmm (Score:2)
(examines garish bait)
(swims away)
Modded -1, too extreme to be convincing.
Good Thinking (Score:3, Insightful)
BAD IDEA
Here's the entire thing graphicly explained (Score:2)
for those that can't find their orthopedic hats, [antifork.org]
Anyone else find it odd/humorous... (Score:2)
Of course, only S.O.B.s would try to write this protocol, but...
Bad. (Score:2)
Now if my computer explodes, I plan to sue you for not only hacking, but vandalism and terrorism.
Had you not done this, I would have just assumed that exploding computers were due to freak environmental conditions!
Bad idea (Score:2)
Please... (Score:3, Funny)
-Shadow
Re:Please... (Score:4, Funny)
April 1st RFCs (Score:4, Informative)
There is a long tradition of April 1st RFCs - see Wikipedia's entry [wikipedia.org].
I thought this one was quite funny - note, by the way, that it doesn't propose that every computer be installed with an OP client, it just proposes the requirements for a protocol enabling that. The requirements are impossible. That's kind of the point, I thought. I suppose you'd have to RTFA to get that though... :-)
Evil Bit? (Score:2)
Full list of april fools jokes (Score:4, Informative)
Some highlites:
livejournal.com [livejournal.com] - on userinfo pages, "Friend"/"Friend Of" -> "Stalking"/"Stalked By"
www.gpf-comics.com [gpf-comics.com] - Comic mirrored.
smh.com.au [smh.com.au] - Yum-cha trolleys with "L" plates
www.clutchfans.com [clutchfans.com] - Patrick Ewing returning to NBA
www.freeciv.org [freeciv.org] - Freeciv ANSI client
www.rav4world.com [rav4world.com] - Closed? Should have announced that TOMORROW!
www.retrocrush.com [retrocrush.com] - Nude pics of Jaclyn Smith
westcoaster.net [westcoaster.net] - Roller coaster site turned into teen girl site
www.meowpawjects.com [meowpawjects.com] - Sock people forced webmaster to take website down.
miceage.com [miceage.com] - Disney merges with Walmart
www.badgerbadgerbadger.com [badgerbadgerbadger.com] - Badgers replaces with zombies
skepdic.com [skepdic.com] - Skeptic's Dictionary closing
fool.com [fool.com] - Buffett buys Krispy Cream
launch.com [launch.com] - Britney Spears & Jason Alexander To Renew Wedding Vows
MetaFilter.com [metafilter.com] - Turned in to a Wiki for the day
www.ddrkc.com [ddrkc.com] - owner sold site to a user that is unpopular
brownpau.com [brownpau.com] - March for Web Standards
www.beyondunreal.com [beyondunreal.com] - ut2k4 production suspended
globetechnology.com [globetechnology.com] - Microsoft Solitaire
www.modernwiccan.com [modernwiccan.com] - Randomized Color Scheme
bbs.fuckedcompany.com [fuckedcompany.com] - Site shutting down
www.diary-x.com [diary-x.com] - looks like diaryland!
theprp.com [theprp.com] - Music site to "Previously Ridden Ponies"
mpx200.org [mpx200.org] - Pocket PC with 2Gb system memory/Smart Drunk Pocket PC application
www.macosxhints.com [macosxhints.com] - triple G5 Powermacs
www.slyfx.com [slyfx.com] - AOL buys slyfx
palminfocenter.com [palminfocenter.com] - Palms for toddlers.
www.carniola.org [carniola.org] - fake news story
eikenes.alvestrand.no [alvestrand.no] - Considering porn spam to be in a separate dialect to everything else
defunctgames.com [defunctgames.com] - Pimps At Sea fox xbox
Lame... So obvious (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:I smell shenanigans (Score:2)
We've got a quick one here, fellas!
Re:Lame... (Score:2)
Re:Oh purlease (Score:3, Funny)
I think it's the people who feel a need to comment on Slashdot on such a thing ... oh wait ...
Re:let's not exagerate (Score:2)
One word: BIOS
If it were non-flashable firmware, you'd be hard-pressed to remove it. More to the point, it could be built into a dedicated microcontroller monitoring the system, or maybe into the north/south bridge chips.
Before you scoff, just think how the hell you'd know if "they" did do that, until the day your motherboard mysteriously overheats...
Re:oh I see... (Score:2)