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Canada Education Government

Elementary School Bans Students From Touching Each Other 336

Posted by timothy
from the this-one-is-about-your-rights-offline dept.
theshowmecanuck writes "A school in British Columbia (the province that now even California can call flakey) has just banned elementary school students from touching each other during recess. You know, one of those times for play and more importantly learning how to socialize (which itself includes touching). CTV News reports: 'A ban on touching during recess at a B.C. elementary school has shocked parents, who call the new no-touch policy "ridiculous." For most kids, recess is a chance to run around and goof-off with their friends, but a new ban on touching at a school in Aldergrove could put a damper on playtime. School administrators at Coghlan Fundamental Elementary School in B.C. have banned kindergarten students from touching each other during recess.'"
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Elementary School Bans Students From Touching Each Other

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  • by cortcomp (2798707) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:48PM (#45360127)
    How do you know who's "it"?
  • Three Sea Shells (Score:5, Insightful)

    by SirDrinksAlot (226001) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:51PM (#45360175) Journal

    Now instead of Raffee they'll be listening to jingles and learning how to use the 3 Sea Shells.

    Demolition Man's setting was too far south obviously.

  • Good news! (Score:5, Funny)

    by smooth wombat (796938) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:53PM (#45360219) Homepage Journal
    have banned kindergarten students from touching each other during recess.

    But touching themselves is still allowed. Huzzah!
  • by istartedi (132515) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:53PM (#45360221) Journal

    Contest to see who can be the most ridiculous. "Tag! You're it."

    • by Minwee (522556)

      I know I have heard this before [snpp.com]...

      "You're it."
      "Now you are the one who is it."
      "Understood."

      "Well, I've got to hand it to you, Seymour: this no touching policy has created the perfect distraction-free environment, thus preparing the children for permanent positions in tomorrow's mills and processing facilities. Hah!

      "Best of all, with less than a minute to go before I leave, absolutely nothing has gone wrong --"

    • by seyyah (986027)

      Contest to see who can be the most ridiculous. "Tag! You're it."

      Rob Ford.

      We win.

  • by MAXOMENOS (9802) <maxomai AT gmail DOT com> on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:53PM (#45360227) Homepage

    Are they trying to create an entire class of socially maladjusted kids? Because that sounds like exactly what they're doing. It's not like you can easily learn the subtleties of touch later on in life. Even a year gap can get you labeled a creep and carry nasty, debilitating consequences for decades.

    • It's not like you can easily learn the subtleties of touch later on in life.

      "The subtleties of touch" sounds like a feminist Leisure Suit Larry sequel.

    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      They're not trying to create an entire class of socially maladjusted kids, they're trying to save themselves from being sued again by the already existing and grown up class of socially maladjusted kids (who never grew up, but had kids of their own anyways). These rules are almost always a reaction to a screaming nutjob parent overreacting to their brat getting pushed/hurt back after they attacked some other kid. On the rare occasions that they aren't, they're a reaction to a screaming nutjob parent who's
    • by J'raxis (248192)

      Are they trying to create an entire class of socially maladjusted kids?

      Yes [johntaylorgatto.com].

    • by roc97007 (608802)

      Are they trying to create an entire class of socially maladjusted kids? Because that sounds like exactly what they're doing. It's not like you can easily learn the subtleties of touch later on in life. Even a year gap can get you labeled a creep and carry nasty, debilitating consequences for decades.

      Agreed. I think another poster had it right -- the creepy, antisocial kids we grew up with all became school administrators.

  • by mark-t (151149) <`markt' `at' `lynx.bc.ca'> on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:57PM (#45360273) Journal

    Parents are upset about it.

    It's an overreactionary policy by the school, nothing more.

    If my kid were in that school, I'd tell them to ignore the rule, and tell the teacher or principal that reprimands them that their dad told them to ignore it because they thought it was stupid.

    • Challenging the power of petty bureaucrats will likely get you a visit from Child Protective Services. They are more likely to take your children than admit the rule is stupid.

    • by tompaulco (629533)

      It's an overreactionary policy by the school, nothing more.

      Undoubtedly an overreaction due to some hoverparent threatening to sue the school. I think this is a case where they should tell the parent to take their child to another school or to homeschool.

      • Undoubtedly an overreaction due to some hoverparent threatening to sue the school. I think this is a case where they should tell the parent to take their child to another school or to homeschool.

        Homeschooling by idiotic parents is tantamount to child abuse. OK, that describes most home schooling.

  • Cooties (Score:5, Funny)

    by stewsters (1406737) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @04:57PM (#45360279)
    This is the only way to slow the spread of Cooties. Tell your kids the risks. Get tested.
  • by Saethan (2725367) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:01PM (#45360335)
    Pat-a-Cake Pat-a-Cake, Baker's Man... "You're suspended!"
  • by Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:05PM (#45360399)
    I would like to say this is one of the stupidest ideas I have ever heard.
    Sadly it isn't even in the top 10. So i will just say that whoever came up with this idea is a moron.
  • by aevan (903814) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:06PM (#45360429)
    Children could still sneak out of sight and have body contact. They could 'trip' and fall into each other (faking it, the little bastards-my nephew loves faking falls). This is a start, but clearly falls short of its goals.

    What's needed here is a way to keep them contained and safe, both for their own good and the good of the other children. Perhaps a start could be a resistance device fitted on the ankles to limit their speed (after all, high speed injuries are more dangerous). Maybe similar ones for the arms to prevent flailing arms injuring other people, or accidentally throwing objects at each other. I was originally going to propose having it by the forearms, but that still leaves elbows as threats - so instead have an entire jacket purposed for this effect. It could double as a uniform for ease of identification of students, maybe in a bright recognisable colour in case they wander off.

    Once the children are properly protected, you then need to move onto securing the environment. Additional padding for those inescapable falls, having all objects edges rounded and no sharp objects around, would be a good use of taxpayer money for classroom renovation. Only then can we ensure they are properly cared for and educated, to grow up into strong, well-adjusted, outstanding members of the administration. It's a miracle we every survived this far as a race without these critical safe-guards, but not one we should take for granted.
  • by meerling (1487879) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:11PM (#45360505)
    All children will be issued a polymer bubble that they must use when at school. Exiting your bubble is not allowed, without express permission of a teacher, the school nurse, and either the principle or vice principle. To insure that sufficient physical activity is performed, once an hour at the sound of the buzzer, the students will roll out to the P.E. field and run laps. To aid in the proper identification of each student, they will be issued a school jersey with an individualized number in large clear writing. The student that finishes first on each run will be allowed first drink at the giant water bottle. Parents are encouraged to participate by watching these 'races' and encouraging their favorites and partaking of our Parimutuel betting. We are currently working to secure a deal with several sports channels for broadcasting of these activities. All of which are expected to aid in our fund raising, and as such, will reduce the need for our bake sales down to only 3 per year.
    Thank you, and please support our school.
    • There has to be somebody from the USA involved... Are they sick of all the stupid headlines never talking about Canadian idiots?

      Perhaps this is more clever - a way to ban everything normal and then SELECTIVELY apply the rules - copying what is done with US law.

    • by Bengie (1121981)
      Lots of kids drown each year; water is also banned from school grounds.
  • revolt (Score:5, Interesting)

    by roc97007 (608802) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:17PM (#45360589) Journal

    When my daughter was in high school, the school district announced at one point that they were going to ban all public displays of affection, no matter how casual. It became known as the "no-hugging rule".

    Although I don't know what the reaction was at other schools, at my daughter's school "hug-ins" and hugging sessions were organized via facebook and texting. Kids would have massive group hugs during recess, designated "hug monitors" would hug everyone who went by in the hallway, (daughter was one such) and hugging became the common greeting. A few days into it I asked daughter how it was going. She said the principal had made an announcement that they were not going to adopt that particular guideline.

    Point is, change can be wrought, even by children. If all (or most) of the kids held hands at every recess on every day, what could the authorities do? Suspend the entire school?

    This kind of thing only continues when the people don't stand up to it.

  • I think there are way too many lawyers and like-minded people who try to solve things be throwing regulations at them without even trying to understand the consequences.

    I'm all for smart regulations that try to regulate systems optimally, but this is way too much, far beyond worrysome and not even funny !!

  • Instead of the Pledge of Alligance to the striped colored cloth on a stick, student could act and sing Divinyl's 1991 video.

    "..when I think about you, I touch myself...."

  • A school in British Columbia (the province that now even California can call flakey)

    Not very Canadian of you - eh?

  • by sl4shd0rk (755837) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:33PM (#45360893)

    Because this doesn't seem like tech news

    • Just because it isn't tech related, doesn't mean it's irrelevant for nerds. Most of us either did too much touching or too little as children, and grew up the way we are as a result of that.
  • by Laxori666 (748529) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @05:52PM (#45361169) Homepage
    ... is the only 100% proven effective way to stop the spread of cooties! Finally someone is taking the necessary measures to rid our country of this abominable abomination. I for one am welcome our overlords for finally being those someones that think of the children.
  • by TheNastyInThePasty (2382648) on Thursday November 07, 2013 @06:05PM (#45361363)

    "NO TOUCHING!"

Nothing succeeds like success. -- Alexandre Dumas

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