NSA App Ideas To Popularize Spying and Big Data 78
reifman writes "Perhaps the reason the NSA's surveillance programs are so unpopular with Americans is that we haven't seen any of the potential consumer benefits that spying and big data can provide. Here are ten ideas for the productization and monetization of the NSA's spying infrastructure to inspire Americans to consider the bright side of the dark arts." In case anyone doesn't notice, these suggestions (at least most of them) are presented tongue-in-cheek; a truly secure email system, though, is another story.
Re:Computer says no.. (Score:5, Informative)
Re: NSA App Ideas To Popularize Spying and Big Dat (Score:5, Informative)
Ideas to sell this?
Check out the Gruen Transfer's videos. They ran with this idea a few weeks ago and asked two Australian ad agencies to compete for the production of the best ad to support ASIO spying on Australians,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JinOn0fu-u0 [youtube.com]
Re:Unpopular? (Score:4, Informative)
Cached Version of Page Here (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Computer says no.. (Score:5, Informative)
Re:Unpopular? (Score:3, Informative)
I know its a bit of an over reaction to draw the connection, but that is the same thing that scared me so much about The Holocaust. Something clearly preventable, and obviously bad being done by a government, but very few of the citizens are doing anything about it. Our american students are sitting in their history classes being told how the Germans failed to prevent the Holocaust, and thus we need to be careful about such things, while our government is doing blatantly immoral things (of drastically less severity) that no one is caring about. I don't care if congress has a 10% approval rating; just saying you don't approve isn't going to stop this (especially given that its another branch of government doing a power grab.
Oh, the low approval rating is a good match for the parliament at the times of the Weimar Republic. That was the basic situation giving the National Socialists the ability to push through the PATRIOT act, excuse me, I mean the Ermächtigungsgesetz putting aside major parts of the constitution. They subsequently implemented the CIA, excuse me, the Gestapo which would kidnap and kill people without due process. They had concentration camps in Guantanamo, excuse me, in Poland, where they used "enhanced interrogation techniques" to figure out more political enemies to assassinate and intern in order to protect the state from the attacks of international terrorism and al-Quaeda, excuse me, the Jewish world conspiracy.
here is TFA (Score:5, Informative)
it's just a blog post so...
Ten Ways to Make NSA Spying Popular with Americans
posted by REIFMAN OCTOBER 20,2013 in FEATURED, HUMOR
With a more entrepreneurial focus, the NSA could easily counteract the current unpopularity of its surveillance programs and eliminate concerns over the cost of its multi-billion dollar programs.
Here are ten services the NSA could offer to make its spying more popular with Americans and offset the costs of its massive data collection:
1. Make flying easier. Since the NSA knows who the terrorists are, it can generate proceeds from “Not a Terrorist” badges which allow the wearer to bypass security screenings. For an additional fee, it will text you ahead of time if you’re booked in the middle seat between two lumberjacks.
2. Simplifying tax time. Since the NSA knows everything about our finances and credit card transactions, it will file your return with the IRS. Never be audited again.
3. Data recovery. Lose your phone? The NSA will restore your contact list. Hard drive fail? No worries, the NSA will rebuild it from the cloud.
4. Avoid annoying people. The NSA’s new mobile app will help you identify and avoid specific people. Is that chatty coworker in the restroom? Know before you go. Never run into your ex again.
5. Find your teenager. Kid out past curfew? AT&T and Verizon won’t help? Don’t guess. The NSA’s mobile app will pinpoint your teenager on a moment’s notice.
6. Private investigations. Is the guy you’re dating married? Is your spouse having an affair? There’s no need to hire a private investigator. The NSA will monitor the activities of those around you and email you if there’s anything you should know.
7. Improving relationships. Need to playback that conversation with your partner from 3 days ago where they’d agreed to cancel dinner reservations with your mom? No problem, the NSA audio cloud (built in to iOS and Android) will make it easy to retrieve.
8. Unlimited remote access to data. Out of dropbox space? Need a file from home or from your ex-boyfriend’s computer? No problem, the NSA’s cloud file store has it.
9. Access to medical records. Need to lookup an x-ray for your doctor? Want genetic testing reports on your date? The NSA mobile app has that too.
10. Truly secure email services. Using email encryption is hard, a surveillance-free email service would be super popular right now.
If you have more ideas for the NSA, with the hashtag #NSAapps.