New Revenue Model For Low Budget Films: Lawsuits 162
conspirator23 writes "A 64-year-old retired English teacher is being sued by a copyright troll for illegal BitTorrent downloading of a motion picture. Perhaps it's not all that shocking in the current era. That is, until we learn that rather than protecting something like Game of Thrones, the plaintiff is accusing Emily Orlando of Estacada, Oregon of downloading Maximum Conviction, a direct-to-video action flick released earlier this year starring Steven Segal and ex-WWE wrestler Steve Austin. Voltage Pictures is demanding $7500 from Emily and 370 other defendants. If all the defendants were to pay the demands, Voltage would gross over $2.75 million, minus legal fees. Who needs Kickstarter?"
As you might expect, Mrs. Orlando had never heard of BitTorrent before receiving the legal threat, and she lives in an area with dynamic IP assignments. This is the same company who has been going after file-sharers by the thousands since 2010.
OK already (Score:5, Funny)
EA is only the second worst company.
Who's Steven Segal (Score:2, Funny)
Shouldnt it be the other way around... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So Simple... (Score:5, Funny)
2: Get little old lady to do something illegal, causing lawsuit by other party
3: Counter-sue, win damages awarded by sympathetic jury
4: Profit!!
or maybe the simpler version
1: Become little old lady
2: Profit!
Really? (Score:1, Funny)
Becoming a fake police officer wasn't enough, Steven? Lightning Bolt Energy Drink couldn't satiate your thirst? Ear-fucking naive concert goers with your rhythmic sitar didn't get you off? Now you have to bring lawsuits against innocent old grannies who have never even heard of you?
If this were a limbo contest you'd be taking home the god damn gold medal, because no one is gonna get lower than you.
Re:Can't wait for there to be case law (Score:5, Funny)
Oooo! Oooo! Me... I'll shoot a lobbyist! We should declare a season... find someone who'll stuff and mount them for our living rooms!!! Why yes, I bagged this fine specimen wandering the hall right around Speaker Boehner's office. He tried to scrabble down a stairway and boom! Funny thing is he's lobbying for the NRA!
Re:So Simple... (Score:4, Funny)
Convince a good lawyer to take this as a class action.
Sorry. Class actions were deleted from your list of acceptable legal remediations by the US Supreme Court after determining that it gave individuals too much power over corporations. Please submit to binding arbitration instead, Citizen.
Sue for court costs, his own legal fees and emotional damages.
Emotional damages? "Your honor, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't work. The idea that someone could accuse me of downloading something on the internet was just so shocking. I couldn't even go out in public, out of fear others might view me as... as a (breaks down sobbing) downloader."
I can't imagine jury anywhere on the planet that wouldn't give the win to the little old lady.
Your imagination sucks [arstechnica.com].
Use this as a model for said trolls and when it becomes clear that we are hoisting these parasites on their own petards, perhaps they'll go away!
You there, troll! Go away. There. I've just rid the internet of one of its most hated archetypes. I'm gonna step out now for a bit of tea. I expect we'll see no more of those people now that the smack down has been given.
Re:So Simple... (Score:4, Funny)
A good lawyer [imgur.com]??
Please, Mr. Segal (Score:5, Funny)
Defendant: "Please Mr. Segal, we don't want any trouble..."
Segal: "Well you better save your receipt. Because you just bought some."
(neck snapping ensues)
Mad tv reference: http://youtu.be/mXx3_ykUpfY [youtu.be]
Re:Hurt Locker? (Score:5, Funny)
Hurt locker was also a huge turd. It beggars belief how it could win anything at the oscars, perhaps excepting the oscar for the biggest piece of contrived shit of the year.
I thought that's what the Oscars(TM) are.
* Biggest piece of contrived shit of the year.
* Biggest leading male piece of contrived shit of the year.
* Biggest leading female piece of contrived shit of the year.
* Biggest piece of contrived shit costumes of the year.
And so on. All awarded at the biggest piece of contrived shit awards ceremony of the year. But maybe I'm thinking of some other awards show.
Re:Hurt Locker? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dear lawmakers (Score:5, Funny)
Guy on 127.0.0.1? That guy has the best taste in porn, music, and movies. Problem is, it's all a bunch of stuff I already have.
Re:Hurt Locker? (Score:5, Funny)
Now, 'Redacted' ... that was a good movie ....
Come now. Don't be coy. Tell us what the name of the movie was. There's no need to censor it.