Facebook Patents Pokes-Per-Minute Limits 143
theodp writes "The USPTO lowered the bar again on Tuesday, granting U.S. Patent No. 8,296,373 to four Facebook inventors for Automatically Managing Objectionable Behavior in a Web-based Social Network, essentially warning users or suspending their accounts when their poking, friend requesting, and wall posting is deemed annoying. From the patent: 'Actions by a user exceeding the threshold may trigger the violation module 240 to take an action. For example, the point 360, which may represent fifty occurrences of an action in a five hour period, does not violate any of the policies as illustrated. However, the point 350, which represents fifty occurrences in a two hour period, violates the poke threshold 330 and the wall post threshold 340. Thus, if point 350 represents a user's actions of either poking or wall posting, then the policy is violated.'"
Well I'm going to patent this poke then. (Score:4, Funny)
Total Garbage (Score:5, Funny)
No wonder the USPTO is overloaded. If this is the garbage that qualifies as patent worthy.
I'm going to patent ass-wiping thresholds now. Once you've wiped your ass 10 times in one sitting and you're still not clean then something has gone wrong...
Genius (Score:5, Funny)
Man, that is some hard core stuff right there. Is there anyone frequenting Slashdot with genius-level IQ that could possibly break down this unbelievably complex, non-obvious behavior and explain it to the rest of us? This is what having billions of dollars of capital can do for you - bring the brain power to a company that is required to make these kinds of amazing discoveries. What I'm looking forward to are the physics and mathematical papers that can expand on these newly found principles and constructs. It's really the stepping-off point to marvelous things for humanity. In fact, I do believe this may even bring us a step closer to the Grand Unified Theory.
Re:Well I'm going to patent this poke then. (Score:2, Funny)
POKE 53280,0
What are you going to do now, huh?
Slow down cowboy (Score:4, Funny)
We might know of some prior art somewhere...
Re:Total Garbage (Score:5, Funny)
Hah, Mark "Fucking" Zuckerberg here. I've already patented ass wiping thresholds, as well as asses and assholes. In fact, since Steve "Rotting Corpse" Jobs finally bit the big one, I'm even closer to cornering the asshole patent market.
Look and be in awe of my might patented asshole!
Re:Genius (Score:4, Funny)
Limit of Pokes per minute (Score:5, Funny)
At what point does pokes per minute turn into a tickle fight?
Finally (Score:5, Funny)
It is about time someone solved this poking problem! I am sure NASA will be licensing this technology right away!
Slashdot Patent Violation Test (Score:5, Funny)
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke.
Nope, Slashdot is not in violation of the patent. Investigation closed.
Re:Well I'm going to patent this poke then. (Score:4, Funny)
Slow down, Cowboy (Score:5, Funny)
Slow down, Cowboy. You seem to have filed too many frivolous patents. Come back in 15 minutes.
Re:Genius (Score:5, Funny)
Okay, then what is needed is a patent for limiting the amount of sarcasm in a commenting system. I'll lay the groundwork:
For example, the point 360, which may represent fifty units of sarcasm in a five hour period, does not violate any of the policies as illustrated. However, the point 350, which represents fifty units of sarcasm in a two hour period, violates the sarcasm threshold 330. Thus, if point 350 represents a user's actions, then the policy is violated.
Now it can never be said that I didn't contribute to Slashdot in a positive way after all these years.
Blizzard was even earlier. (Score:3, Funny)
Orc peons in Warcraft II had a poke limit in 1995.
Re:Total Garbage (Score:5, Funny)
I've already patented ass wiping thresholds, as well as asses and assholes. In fact, since Steve "Rotting Corpse" Jobs finally bit the big one, I'm even closer to cornering the asshole patent market.
You can't patent asses and assholes. They're human interfaces with rounded corners. Apple would sue your ass off!