Teen Suicide Tormentor Outed By Anonymous 550
MightyMartian writes "From the CBC: 'The tragic story of B.C. teen suicide victim Amanda Todd has taken another bizarre twist as the internet hacking and activist group Anonymous has named a man the group says was the girl's primary tormentor. Todd, 15, of Port Coquitlam, British Columbia, died last Wednesday, a month after posting a haunting video on YouTube that cited the sexualized attack that set her down a path of anxiety, depression and drug and alcohol abuse.' This raises a whole nest of issues surrounding the presumption of innocence and vigilantism. Should the police and the courts be given the appropriate amount of time to determine if there is sufficient evidence, or if a crime has in fact been committed, or is Anonymous right in short-circuiting what might in fact be a lengthy process with no guarantee that anyone will face charges?"
For great justice... maybe? (Score:5, Insightful)
If you're going to try to punish someone for a crime (and make no mistake, naming the man is meant to be a punishment), you'd better make damn sure you get the right person.
For all the problems of the legal system, it is decent at that -- far from perfect, but probably better than some random anonymice.
Outing is not the best solution (Score:4, Insightful)
Anonymous could have blood on their hands if the outrage becomes a lynch mob. I have no sympathy for the man, but the internet is a kangaroo court.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
Atheism leads to this.
I'm pretty sure you don't need to believe in God to consider rape and murder unethical, immoral, and just wrong. In fact, plenty of people have pointed out (repeatedly) the fallacy of assuming that one needs God and/or religion to be good, so there is no reason to say more on that topic here. Go forth and Google.
The culture of consent and contraception, leads to this.
I'm not sure what the "culture of contraception" is, but I am pretty sure it does not lead to this kind of behavior, either. In fact, I strongly suspect this behavior - in general, minus the Internet - predates the widespread availability of contraception.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:4, Insightful)
Atheism leads to this.
What does Atheism have to do with any of this? Because I don't believe there's an invisible man in the sky means I don't have any morals?
this is intolerable (Score:5, Insightful)
If Anonymous has material evidence that points to the guilt of a particular individual, they should turn that evidence over to the responsible law enforcement agency, not go public and taint both the investigation and public opinion. The detectives may have had the opportunity to seize evidence before the person knew he was under suspicion, or set up a sting operation. They'd also have the chance to clear the individual if he's innocent without the mess of threats of violence I presume this guy is now going to get.
Presuming this person is eventually charged and tried, Anonymous releasing this information can complicate the job of the prosecutor, having the opposite effect intended.
On the other hand, if this person is innocent, Anonymous just released a shitstorm on this poor guy that's going to be nearly impossible to get rid of until the police charge someone else.
I don't see any situations where Anonymous' action result in a more positive outcome than would have come about through other choices.
Yes and no (Score:5, Insightful)
Should the police and the courts be given the appropriate amount of time to determine if there is sufficient evidence, or if a crime has in fact been committed
In theory yes, but the problem with bullying is that the legal system doesn't protect it sufficiently .. there is this double standard. The exact same behaviors that would be considered criminal just a few years later is dismissed as 'normal' (and you're told to 'ignore it') at school level. This is primarily when vigilantism becomes attractive - when the formal justice system fails to protect victims.
What should happen is that more forms of bullying should be criminalized, and the penalties should be harsher - e.g. physical assault should be treated more often as an adult crime and teens should be tried as adults for committing physical assault. And as with committing crime as an adult, there should be harsher consequences that follow you through life. Currently when leaving school, there are no negative consequences for bullies at all - not even a modicum of shame in the workplace (this is why I support more 'name and shame' efforts for even past bullies).
Unfortunately, much like battered wife syndrome, without formal recourse, desperate victims are sometimes forced and driven to either tragically commit suicide, or occasionally, take out their own tormentors in the worst cases (e.g. some school shootings). At least in the latter, if there is a silver lining, it's that there is some manner of repercussion for the perpetrators - that is what is sorely needed.
I'm worried that someone asks (Score:5, Insightful)
Is this serious? Is someone on /. really wondering if it is better to let the police and the judiciary sytem decide if someone committed a crime and who it was, or just let anonymous (!) people do justice on their own?
Are people really nostalgic of the good old days of lynching etc.?
Revenge? (Score:5, Insightful)
What Anonymous is doing is called revenge. Revenge is not justice.
No honor among trolls? (Score:2, Insightful)
And should we trust Anonymous on this one? What if they are just covering for one of their own?
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Outing is not the best solution (Score:5, Insightful)
"I have no sympathy for the man, but the internet is a kangaroo court."
That is an insult to Kangaroos..
The internet is a unruly mob distracted by the latest shiny.
Due Process (Score:2, Insightful)
The primary issue with due process is that it is set up in order to preserve the life of an innocent person, at the cost of letting 9 guilty people go free. When you find yourself at the end of a legal cannon, you will be very happy for every line written that the system must jump through in order to prosecute you, legally.
Unfortunately, the worst of us know how to use this system to benefit themselves, and so as the web is drawn tighter, they simply make themselves more slippery until eventually the spiders are trapped and only the flies know the way out of the web. The genie is out of the bottle for these, crooks, though so a hard reset of the tort system won't fix anything. We're stuck with what we have and it is ever-worsening.
In comes vigilantism. They don't worry about things like "alleged" or "possible" -- they deal in terms of black and white -- guilty or ignored. You don't want to be at the end of a vigilante cannon -- as they lack all accountability, you lack the security of knowing that you will escape unscathed if you prove yourself to be innocent.
As with any red-tape law, before you criticize it, you must ask yourself "If a very bad political power wanted to come after me, can this law potentially be used to protect me?" The answer is almost always a sorry "yes"
Re:Revenge? (Score:5, Insightful)
It's more of a tragedy, that despite this great connected world, the girl was not able to find help, or help was not able to find her, before things went that far.
Revenge won't help her now.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
This is rape and murder [blogspot.com]. Maybe not by society's definition. Maybe not by the liberalized culture that thinks tricking a 14 year old into baring her breasts on the internet is just good clean fun. Or that consent is always equivalent to permission. So as much as I consider what anonymous has done to be vigilantism; one cannot say that this man, or the teenage boy, or any of the rest of this poor girl's tormentors are innocent.
It's all tied together. Society's rejection of morality and ethics leads to this. Atheism leads to this. The culture of consent and contraception, leads to this. The only thing left to do is learn from it instead of repeating the same mistakes as the hippie generation.
Emphasis mine... you were doing so well up until this point. Straw man fallacy. Atheism does not lead to this. Amorality leads to this. It is 100% possible to be an atheist with morals. In fact, I can list thousands of amoral things organized religion has done to the world. (Inquisition, Jihad, etc.) Your argument is bullshit.
Consent and contraception leads to healthy, happy relationships without unwanted children to screw things up. Those allow you to adequately plan for your child's future, save up for their lives, and be prepared for when they actually arrive. With consent and contraception, you have the opportunity to provide a better, properly planned life instead of one that leads to divorce, single-parent homes and priests molesting children. (See? I can straw-man too!)
Remember: Treat your religion like your penis. Don't whip it out every chance you get, and please don't jam it down my throat. Because that would be gay. And we all know what you extremist religious types feel about gayness.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
This is rape and murder [blogspot.com]. Maybe not by society's definition.
So then it's not rape and murder.* What other definition actually counts for anything?
Maybe not by the liberalized culture that thinks tricking a 14 year old into baring her breasts on the internet is just good clean fun.
Also not by any level-headed person including those who do think that tricking a 14 year old into exposing herself is a hideous thing to do.
From the page you linked to:
Thus, homosexuality is rape. Thus, one night heterosexual stands are rape. Thus, premarital sex, even with "consent", is rape.
Confirmed: you are an idiot. Doubly so if you actually wrote that and don't just agree with it.
Society's rejection of morality and ethics leads to this. Atheism leads to this. The culture of consent and contraception, leads to this.
No, no, and no. You know what leads to this? Humans. We are all (including the Pope, no matter what the Catholics are told to believe) fallible. We do some shitty things sometimes, and just as many of those things have been in the name of a god as not. Grow out of talking to your imaginary friend and take some collective responsibility along with the rest of us soul-less animals.
Also, find a friend to get laid with. It's awesome!
*Disclaimer: I do think that what happened to this poor girl is terrible and those responsible should face the full force of the law, such as it is. I just decided to focus more on this poster for being a cock-womble.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:1, Insightful)
You wouldn't believe how many women consider consensual one nighter as rape when it involve alcohol (even when both are affected). They somewhat think that remorse is equivalent to being forced to,
Re:this is intolerable (Score:5, Insightful)
I don't see any situations where Anonymous' action result in a more positive outcome than would have come about through other choices.
The folks who identify themselves as Anonymous don't care. If they cut off income for thousands of merchants just to send a message to MasterCard, they call it a victory.
The actions of Anonymous aren't based in righteous concern for society. Rather, they're displays of overwhelming power trumping society's established systems, with a thin veneer of altruism to stave off any guilt.
Anonymous members aren't educated in ethics. They don't have any consequences for destroying someone's life. Anonymous enjoys the power of crowdsourced intelligence and abilities, without the responsibility that comes from actually caring for everyone fairly. An appropriate analogy is a newly-empowered dictator. He enjoys the support of the people because he's popular, and now he can kill anyone he wants for the good of the country.
Then the irony comes... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:It's all tied together (Score:2, Insightful)
And particularly please don't traumatize kids with it.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:2, Insightful)
Its a lot easier to be moral when you don't have to follow the teachings of stone age goat diddling, child molesting, genocidal maniacs aka Christians, Muslims and Jews. Read the bible sometime, see the sick and twisted shit that they worship.
Comment removed (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:this is intolerable (Score:5, Insightful)
How about the situation where a prosecution cannot be successful now. A clear line of defense is- all your evidence was planted by a group of hackers upset because I made an indecent comment about them or the recently deceased. We already know they "hacked" into things to get the information and make their declarations. I'm betting that most all evidence against him outside of a confession could be tossed aside as not reliable now. No one from anonymous would be likely to come out and admit it was them and ensure the evidence is legit.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:3, Insightful)
This rape is commanded and approved by the deity and major priests.
Don't get me started on what they do to "suckling babes" who don't follow the religion. It's not pretty. The character Yahweh is one evil, psychotic, amoral, sadistic, narcissitic bastard and/or he considers humans to be about as important as we consider ants. I have no problem kicking over an ant hill.
Then again, I don't talk to them and control their affairs on a personal basis either.
Re:this is intolerable (Score:5, Insightful)
From Wikipedia:
"The French Revolution (French: Révolution française; 1789–1799), was a period of radical social and political upheaval in France that had a major impact on France and throughout the rest of Europe. The absolute monarchy that had ruled France for centuries collapsed in three years. French society underwent an epic transformation, as feudal, aristocratic and religious privileges evaporated under a sustained assault from radical left-wing political groups, masses on the streets, and peasants in the countryside. Old ideas about tradition and hierarchy – of monarchy, aristocracy, and religious authority – were abruptly overthrown by new Enlightenment principles of equality, citizenship and inalienable rights."
Now, do you think that the upheaval of the aristocracy was sugar cookies and lemonade for the economy of France? What about all the merchants employed by the Aristocracy? How evil of those revolutionaries to do such a thing to the Aristocracy because it affected merchants!
Re:Yes and no (Score:5, Insightful)
And all adulteresses should be forced to wear a scarlet "A"!
Children are not fully-formed adults, we can't treat them as such. They do not have full control over their lives as adults do. If you believe that children should be treated as adults than whatever age you believe that begins they should be allowed to drink, smoke, gamble and vote.
You can't have it both ways.
Re:Anyone else having a hard time feeling sorry? (Score:4, Insightful)
Sure, "you own your own actions", etc, but for some of these kids the internet is their entire community or peer group, it is much more difficult to shrug off.
It's amazing what a few years out of high school will do to restore one's perspective-- don't kill yourselves, kids, it really does get better!
Re:It's all tied together (Score:4, Insightful)
That's not Christianity; that's Puritanism, which is (or was) a distinct sect within Christianity, heavily influenced by asceticism, which is a non-religious philosophy. Americans probably have a higher correlation between Christianity and Puritansim, as many of their initial settlers were Puritans getting the hell out of England, but it's still a false equivalency. It's like saying that all atheists believe life came about due to extra-terrestrial contact, just because Erich von Däniken is an atheist.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
b) if a girl shows her breasts, she is a slut and a whore and should be ashamed of herself and do whatever it takes to have no one find out about it,
More generally, I'm also perplexed by the social double-standard where men who have (had) multiple sex-partners (or are sexually aggressive, for lack of a better word) are "studs", but women are "sluts". Seems like a bunch of misogynistic bullshit from insecure men to make women feel second-rate. (I'm a guy, by the way.)
Re:this is intolerable (Score:5, Insightful)
Problem there is that evidence was (considering the source) almost certainly obtained through illegal action. (hacking) This cause three immediate problems. 1. most legal systems spoil evidence that has been obtained through illegal actions, 2. it may make assembling an unspoiled jury (that has not been exposed to the tainted evidence) difficult, and 3. it may make the same evidence, obtained through legal means, more difficult or impossible to bring to court.
The laws concerning spoilage of evidence are made to protect the innocent, but are most frequently called upon to protect the guilty. That's the unfortunate part of it. To protect the 1% of the innocent, the 99% of the guilty must go free. Love it or hate it? You'll probably hate it, until you're the 1%.
Re:For great justice... maybe? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:For great justice... maybe? (Score:5, Insightful)
What Anonymous did is no different than -- and just as wrong as -- police parading accused (often not even arraigned) criminals on "perp walks" for the television cameras, and splashing the names and faces of accused rapists across TV, print and radio.
Re:Yes and no (Score:4, Insightful)
Hint: The reason children bully isn't because they simply don't and 'can't' understand they're doing something wrong. We also already expect children to understand it's wrong to murder, rape, stab, steal and more. It's hardly a stretch to say, OK, physically punching someone is wrong. We also teach them that various wrong things are wrong, whereas bullying we do not - we simply shrug and say 'kids will be kids' - you seem to honestly bizarrely and absurdly think that the only available options are 'scarlet As', and doing absolutely nothing like we do now. (If I were to venture a guess, I'd guess you bullied someone at school ... in which case of course you'd feel that way.) I won't even being to address the idiocy of your 'scarlet A' comment .. don't waste our time with straw men, thanks.
when's the cutoff point? (Score:4, Insightful)
My 2yo and 3yo sons regularly bite/scratch/beat on each other. In adults this would be assault and battery (possibly even aggravated assault). Are you proposing that they should go to jail?
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
That kind of person scares me. What happens if they ever lose their faith? They'll turn into raping, murdering lunatics since God was the only thing keeping them decent.
"Anything done out of fear has no moral value"
Re:It's all tied together (Score:3, Insightful)
You're right, I probably wouldn't believe whatever you tell me about that.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
But what we are talking about here is perception, how humans see individuals of both sexes that engage in "promiscuity", for lack of a better word. That has not only social roots as biological roots. Men do not and will probably never see a promiscuous woman as a desired partner, because instinctively we want them to carry our genes and not somebody else's. Women on the other hand will always carry their own genes, and so they instinctively look for other things in their partners, usually strength and dominance, which are usually traits of men disputed by many women, thus making male promiscuity actually instinctively attractive.
Re:Then the irony comes... (Score:5, Insightful)
No, she wasn't stupid. She was a child. There's a term for acting stupidly due to youth. Innocence.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
They're not calling the women sluts because they had sex. They're calling the women sluts because they disagree with them, want to silence them, and character assassination often works.
Aspersions about their sex habits are the tool, the motive is power.
Re:It's all tied together (Score:5, Insightful)
being raped is no longer shameful but something for women to take pride in
i'm supposed to behave and be diplomatic in my responses, but for anyone to form the thought you just wrote requires a special combination of being a fucking moron and a sick douchebag all in one neat steaming pile
The society is to blame (Score:4, Insightful)
From TFA:
A national child anti-exploitation group, cybertip.ca, says it received a tip almost a year ago about Todd.
A concerned citizen contacted the organization last November to report that images of Todd were being circulated online, said spokeswoman Signy Arnason.
"We did receive one report, and that was passed along to law enforcement as well as child welfare," Arnason said Monday. "It was not a report from her, but it was a report from a concerned citizen."
So ... the girl was tormented by an adult who posted her topless images on seedy sites and that so-called "national child anti-exploitation group" got a tip and what they did?
The spoke-woman claimed that they have passed that tip to the "law enforcement" as well as "child welfare".
That was when that little girl was still being tormented by that sick adult, and what happened?
Nothing !
Neither the police nor the child welfare nor that "national child anti-exploitation group" did anything to protect the girl.
She was so tormented, so helpless that she chose to end her life.
Whose fault was it?
The society !
All of us have turned into zombies.
When someone got tormented, we just did what we do - passing the buck.
Like what that "national child anti-exploitation group" did.
All they did was passing the buck to the police and then ... nothing.
What's the use of having a "national child anti-exploitation group" when they don't do nothing??
I'm not in any shape or form related to the anonymous but I do applaud what they have done in this case.
They have done what the police, the child welfare system and the national child anti-exploitation group have all failed to do - to flush that sick motherfucker out in the open.
Re:The society is to blame (Score:5, Insightful)
What if they are wrong?
Re:For great justice... maybe? (Score:5, Insightful)
Given that this is being done by Anonymous, I think it's fairly clear that they don't trust the government. Asking people who don't trust the government to depend on it to provide justice is, well, a bit unreasonable.
This doesn't mean I think they were right to do what they did. I'm not well enough informed to have an opinion. I *suspect* that they rushed to judgement, without sufficient evidence. OTOH, I've seen little that persuades me that the government is even interested in justice, though they *do* generally prefer that you follow their rules. (Unless it's to their advantage to have something to hang over your head.)
Re:For great justice... maybe? (Score:3, Insightful)
You'd also better make sure you're trying to punish them for a real crime, and the right crime. What this guy did was sleazy, and to an extent illegal, but it was not rape, it was not murder, it was not assisted suicide, it was just plain pedo-bear skeezyness.
Try the dude for possession of child pornography, try the dude for coercing a minor, do what you have to do. Do NOT try to make this a whole schpiel about "Oh no, cyber bullies!" or try to charge this guy for her death in any way. Even if he is entirely responsible for the picture and its distribution, he did not kill this girl, she chose to take the easy way out and just say "I give up". That's not his fault.
Showing her tatas online was nobody's choice but her own, and she certainly wasn't 'forced' to do anything of the sort. The most someone on a webcam can do is ask. If you don't want to do it, then don't. End the chat. Call Chris Hanson. Whatever.
Unfortunately it looks like she couldn't live with the results of her bad decision. I feel zero sympathy for this girl.
Re:The society is to blame (Score:5, Insightful)
Whose fault was it?
Her parents.
I mean, what were they thinking stuffing her up with such prudery that she came to believe her life was over once she'd bared her breasts and it became public?
What. The. Fuck?
Her parents? I have heard nothing about them giving her grief when some asshole sent them, the kid's friends, and apparently teachers photos of the kid's boobs. They seemed to have been nothing but supportive.
It was getting beaten up, blackmailed, bullied, and harassed across something like 3 schools and 2 homes and 2 or 3 years that seemed to have driven her over the brink.
I've seen absolutely zero indication her parents were prudes nor that they didn't do everything they could to support her.
And you say it's their fault for not being able to instill a sense of calm rationality on a lonely, depressed, desperate young teen when calm rationality is exactly what kids that age are known for not possessing?
If I were her dad, I'd have sat her down and told her, "Blow it all off. It don't matter, and they're all just jealous, or pervs. You be proud of yourself. Besides (lifts his shirt), look at me. I've got a chest and even nipples. Big deal. Now go play with your friends and don't worry about it. Stand tall girl. You've nothing to be ashamed of."
You think showing her your boobs would make things better?
Oh, and she didn't have any friends, so "go play with your friends" is just going to rub that fact in.
I wish I could tell this to every kid entering puberty. Just stick it out, and when you get used to those hormones raging through you, you'll be able to handle it and will probably even enjoy it. It's just a phase we all go through. Hang in there. It won't be long now.
Oh, and the next time you see that jerk, kick him right in his piss-pump, just so he'll never forget how stupid he was letting you get away.
She never met "that jerk" - he set up fake Facebook profiles, friended her peers while posing as a soon-to-be new student at their school, then turned them against her. And he sent them all pics of her flashing the web cam.
And he's (if Anonymous is to be believed) ~30 years old, so he didn't "let her get away".
I have never seen a +5 that was so far off the mark.
Re:For great justice... maybe? (Score:3, Insightful)
Wait, "just as wrong?" We're holding Anonymous to the same moral standards as the police?
I suppose it's better than going the other way and holding police to only the standards you hold Anonymous, but still...
They should be held to a higher standard. Their information must be thoroughly checked, verified, confirmed. This is possible through digital signatures but to expect completely Anonymous information to be true without a process for checking how true or how false each piece of information is and how truthful the source is, it's worthless.
Re:Then the irony comes... (Score:5, Insightful)
But what's a worthy target? Anyone they feel is stupid. Todd was stupid for appearing nude on the internet and more stupid for getting angry about it and not learning about the Streissand effect. It goes on and on like that.
It seems to me that the sentence you quoted is paraphrasing the attitude of the anonymous attackers, not the posters own opinion.
Re:The society is to blame (Score:3, Insightful)
She said she was alone and had no one helping her. She called for help to random strangers on the Internet.
Clearly, her parents were not helping her. They probably weren't even aware of her problems. The reason the girl didn't tell them is probably that she believed they wouldn't understand or be of any help, which is a sign of bad parent-child relationship.
Clueless parents not able to connect with their children and help them in times or need are to blame.
Re:The society is to blame (Score:3, Insightful)
She said she was alone and had no one helping her.
She said she "had nobody" and "needed someone" - she very likely meant a friend, as opposed to a parent. Even the most supportive parents aren't a substitute for a friend.
She called for help to random strangers on the Internet.
She seems to have told her story on the internet as a warning for others.
Clearly, her parents were not helping her. They probably weren't even aware of her problems. The reason the girl didn't tell them is probably that she believed they wouldn't understand or be of any help, which is a sign of bad parent-child relationship.
Clueless parents not able to connect with their children and help them in times or need are to blame.
Clearly the only one clueless is you.
While awaiting her father to pick her up from school, she was beaten up by a group of girls, and dumped in a muddy puddle. Her father found her laying in a ditch. Her parents and others received pictures from her web cam mistake. She moved schools 3 times, moved house twice I believe. She'd also OD'd too and spent time in the hospital, so they knew that.
Her parents were aware of something going on. What else should they have done? Left the city? The province? Maybe, but they have Facebook in $other_city, $other_prov too - the perpetrator would've just followed her.
Her mother said she'd been doing quite a bit better recently, up until *just* before her death, so they seemed quite involved.
Every time something bad and/or embarrassing happened to you at that age, did you run to your parents? Wouldn't that have resulted in even more tormenting at school, "loufoque is a mommies boy", etc.?
Let me be blunt (Score:3, Insightful)
If the muslim may not need to feel attacked with all the anti muslim propaganda and advertising, and they should bravely ignore all insult, THEN that teen dying is her own damn fault and the troll asshole which pushed her to do it left alone.
You can't have it any other way, or you have to admit the muslim have a point.
Re:this is intolerable (Score:4, Insightful)
Blaming the French revolution for Napoleon doesn't do it justice. The French revolution caused so much, much more than just a short lived French Empire. And thank God for that.
Re:For great justice... maybe? (Score:3, Insightful)
All emphasis mine.
Sigh... let me ask you this: When you were 13 were you this savvy and awesome as you appear to be? Probably not. Kids in their formation years have not been fucked by the rest of world to learn and understand what one action can have as its outcome.
Was it her decision to show? Oh yes I agree but it was definetely and heavely induced by someone else. If you wanted to gain someones attention would you not do something if asked?
Have you ever been clinically depressed? Have you ever felt ashamed of yourself to the point where the "easy way out" (did you use your mob face for this phrase?) was the only solution to stop feeling as less than the worst thing you ever faced?
Spare me the blame the victim act. Yes the person who blackmailed her is responsible for her death. Pushing a person off of the cliff phisically and pushing mentally are the same thing.
Re:The society is to blame (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:The society is to blame (Score:5, Insightful)
What makes you think your daughter will, in her teens, rationally consider your words and think "yes, he's right?" It sounds like this girl was suffering from massive depression. If you think you could work against something like that by "just being nice" you're sadly mistaken. I'm not calling your parenting into question - just stating that there are things that are very much out of your control.