Australians Receive SMS Death Threats 192
beaverdownunder writes "Many Aussies across New South Wales and South Australia had a bit of a shock this morning when they received an SMS threatening them with assassination. Although somewhat varied, the messages have typically read, 'Someone paid me to kill you. If you want me to spare you, I'll give you two days to pay $5000. If you inform the police or anybody, you will die, I am monitoring you', and signed with the e-mail address killerking247@yahoo.com. Police and the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission have warned that the messages are almost certainly fake, and that no dialogue should be entered into with scammers." I hope "almost certainly" is droll understatement.
This isn't fair! (Score:5, Funny)
Someone paid me to post this comment (Score:5, Funny)
Do not moderate it or report it to the moderators. I am watching you.
Almost certainly fake (Score:5, Funny)
Commisioner also stated that "You're almost certainly unlikely to be found dead in the bush 7 days after the message. Reason of death won't probably be 20-25 stab wounds in all body parts. There's practically no possibility your eyes will be burned out with hot iron. We find it very improbable that you will be dismembered with a piano wire and disemboweled. There is no reason for panic. Probably."
On the bright side... (Score:5, Funny)
People who are wanting to commit suicide are finally getting valet service.
Re:Assumptions ... (Score:3, Funny)
What would you do?
I'd grab a beer, start up the BBQ, prepare some T-Bones with some olive oil and some spices, and lay out in the sun.
Did I win?
Re:Almost certainly fake (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Never had a death threat spam... (Score:4, Funny)
But I did get a spam once from someone claiming that he had evidence that would land me in prison, and threatening to report me to the FBI unless I immediately wrote back for instructions on how to pay him.
Hey, is that you Julian Assange?
um... (Score:5, Funny)
The last time I checked everything in Australia will kill you in various ways so why would an extra assassin matter? Target a place where everything that moves isn't an assassin.
Stupidity Tax (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of an old Kids-in-the-Hall skit:
Casher: "And another $5 for the Stupidity Tax."
Customer: "Stupidity Tax? What's that?"
Casher: "Oh, since you asked about it, you don't have to pay."
You previously see the casher successfully get away with charging the tax with the other "stupid" customers.
The reason why we have so much spam and other scams is because there are enough stupid people to make it economically viable.
Re:Almost certainly fake (Score:5, Funny)
This all seems familiar, but $5000 doesn't seem dirt cheap...
Re:Assumptions ... (Score:4, Funny)
It certainly is. On the other hand, assume you can send SMSes in a way which is not traceable and comparatively cheap. Assume you want the entire police force of some place - say, New South Wales - to be too busy and way less effective. Assume you want to commit some other crime which would greatly benefit from the police force in that place being too busy chasing phantoms.
What would you do?
Mod you -1, Droll.
Re:Almost certainly fake (Score:5, Funny)
This all seems familiar, but $5000 doesn't seem dirt cheap...
Dirty deeds, indeed.
Re:I would sleep better after such a message.... (Score:5, Funny)
Just watch out for the high-tech SMS wielding drop bears.
Re:I would sleep better after such a message.... (Score:4, Funny)
The right to arm bears shall not be restricted....
Trolololo (Score:5, Funny)
"Hello! I understand why you would want to kill a Nigerian prince, however, my country is in turmoil and my money is tied from my hands. Please allow me to send you a check for $30,000 which you can cash and please Western Union all but your $5000 back to me at this address: ..."
USA VER (Score:4, Funny)
IF YOU don't send me $500 I will TXT spam you endlessly and on most plans where you pay up to $0.25 for each TXT it will add up quickly
Re:This isn't fair! (Score:5, Funny)
No way. Barack Obama promised he'd close down Guantanomo when he ran for President 4 years ago. Surely it's closed by now.
He was doing it wrong :) (Score:4, Funny)
He should've sent a followup:
"The previous SMS was sent to many people in error. Only one of your lives is in danger. If you send me $5000 I'll let you know if it's you."