Forgot your password?
typodupeerror
Privacy It's funny.  Laugh. Security Idle Your Rights Online

The Web's Worst Privacy Policy 107

Posted by samzenpus
from the bottom-of-the-barrel dept.
Sparrowvsrevolution writes "With much of the web upset over about Google's latest privacy policy changes, it's helpful to remember it could be much worse: A search engine called Skipity offers the world's worst privacy policy (undoubtedly tongue-in-cheek), filled with lines like this: 'You may think of using any of our programs or services as the privacy equivalent of living in a webcam fitted glass house under the unblinking eye of Big Brother: you have no privacy with us. If we can use any of your details to legally make a profit, we probably will.' The policy gives the company the right to sell any of your data that it wants to any and all corporate customers, send you limitless spam, track your movements via GPS if possible, watch you through your webcam, and implant a chip in your body that is subject to reinstallation whenever the company chooses."
This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

The Web's Worst Privacy Policy

Comments Filter:
  • by elrous0 (869638) * on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:05PM (#38822951)

    Every time I use Google, I get this unnerving feeling that Larry Page is petting a cat somewhere and telling a henchman "Soon we will have enough to blackmail EVERYONE...bwah, ha, ha, ha!"

    • by bonch (38532) * on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:08PM (#38822981)

      They already have enough to blackmail everyone.

      • by tgd (2822) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:43PM (#38823283)

        They already have enough to blackmail everyone.

        They're not already blackmailing everyone?

        Crap, I wonder who that I payed that rans^H^H^H^Hdonation to?

        • That'd explain how they got Senators and Representatives to drop their support of SOPA/PIPA.

          You think it was because of direct grass roots actions?

          • by dgatwood (11270) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @07:17PM (#38824001) Journal

            I can see it now.

            Hello, Senator. I'm glad you could meet with me. I wanted to talk to you about an... anomaly we noticed with your gmail account. It seems that all of those racy emails you've been sending to your intern—you know, the 15-year-old son of your biggest donor—somehow made their way into a mail queue that is scheduled for delivery to your wife and her divorce attorney some time tomorrow.

            Now I know what you're thinking. How could this happen? We're not really sure. The point is that it has happened. We can make sure those messages never get delivered by deleting the queue, which we'll do, but we need something from you, too. Good. I'm glad we could come to an understanding.

      • by tehcyder (746570)

        They already have enough to blackmail everyone.

        Unless all of a sudden a scholarly interest in teenage transsexual prostitutes has become an issue, I'm safe.

    • by gmuslera (3436) * on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:10PM (#38823005) Homepage Journal
      Oblig xkcd [xkcd.com]. They just aren't good being evil.
      • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:24PM (#38823133)

        They've always been good at it. They've just been media darlings for so long that they got away with it. But the tide is turning: look at Google Plus Your Search. It's so controversial that Larry Page threatened critical employees that if they didn't like it, they should be working somewhere else.

        Google has become another big corporation never happy with the money it's making. Facebook has replaced email and other aspects of the web, and that threatens Google's advertising dollars, which is over 98% of their revenue source.

      • I don't get it.. What happened in March of '97?

    • by cvtan (752695)
      That should be "Muahh-ha-ha-ha".
    • by laejoh (648921)
      Even worse, I have the feeling that Larry Wall is sitting next to him watching the google logs while wearing the xkcd shirt based on comic 208!
  • Unconscionability (Score:5, Informative)

    by Literaphile (927079) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:10PM (#38822999)
    It's obviously a joke, but, that said, courts will not necessarily enforce contracts that are so one-sided as to be entirely unconscionable or ludicrous. I'm pretty sure this fits the definition...
    • I give them points for honestly. If you don't agree to the terms, don't use the service. And the GPS chip implant surgery only hurts for a few minutes.
    • I wonder if they're hiring? Certainly they'll treat their employees better than they do their product, um, customers. Right?
    • by stoofa (524247) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:29PM (#38823179)
      Are you seriously telling me this wouldn't stand up in court: http://www.sleepdictionary.com/legal.html [sleepdictionary.com] Damn. That lawyer owes me those two beers back.
      • by nasirg (2562421)
        software store [homesandgardenings.com] new look shoes [homesandgardenings.com] Thanks for taking the time to discuss and share this with us, I for one feel strongly about it and really enjoyed learning more about this topic. I can see that you possess a degree of expertise on this subject, I would very a lot like to hear much more from you on this subject matter
    • by Anonymous Coward

      If you read every website's privacy, usage, terms of use, and every other linked "agreements" every single one without exception has these vague legalese clauses that basically say what this guy says.

      If it were not, you probably would not have a Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn account:

      I deleted my LinkedIn account because they will turn into another FB - only they have a more targeted marketing system.

      Want to market shit to just programmers? LinkedIN

      Accountants? Lawyers? Project Mangers?

      LinkedIN.

    • by allo (1728082)

      they will not enforce them, if it seems like one side tried to hide something in there. but this one is obviously purely honest, so there is nothing hidden, it just IS the worst pp ever. deal with it.

  • Direct Link (Score:5, Informative)

    by Jeng (926980) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:19PM (#38823101)

    Here is a direct link to the privacy policy.

    http://skipity.com/privacy [skipity.com]

    • by ackthpt (218170)

      It's the Privacy Policy equiv of All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

      Now if they had a built in game and it was fun, they'd pwn half the web by now.

    • By visiting that link you automatically agree to the (Lack of) Privacy Policy.

      You know what? I don't think I'll click that link.
  • I am shocked (Score:5, Informative)

    by Scareduck (177470) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:19PM (#38823105) Homepage Journal

    that no one has yet mentioned that Skipity is just a front for Bing.

  • by reboot246 (623534) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:31PM (#38823195) Homepage
    That's actually the privacy policy of the United States Federal government.

    And getting worse every day . . . .
    • by Xacid (560407)
      Yet there's something appealing about its outright honesty regarding the issue at hand as opposed to the usual distraction of "Think of the children/country/lawyers/artists/puppies/etc"...
  • (or sensing it via some any other means) Indicates acceptance of the agreement. As does closing this browser or browsing to another page.
  • by wurp (51446) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @05:58PM (#38823393) Homepage

    Most privacy policies are just as bad as the "worst" privacy policy: https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=privacy+%22or+as+allowed+by+law%22 [google.com]

    Note that they give a bunch of circumstances in which they will use your private information, but then they add in "or as *allowed* by law" which means they can do absolutely anything with your information that isn't illegal.

    Somehow I think people misread it as "or as required by law" which is an altogether different thing.

  • Note to humanity, if your judgement is a comparison of "what is" and "the worst of all possible situations", you will allow yourself to be harmed up until the time where you ARE in the worst of all known situations... and it will be too late to act.

    No, Google is not the worst of all possible situations, but they have acted sufficiently for us all too be concerned about what they do now, what they can do now, and what they are able and willing to do in the future.

  • Slashdot's policy allows its system to thrash anyone's KARMA at will.
  • I just went to skipity.com in an incognito session and in the search box it already had some of my sear queries from google? Is that strange?
  • by anomaly256 (1243020) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @06:24PM (#38823599)
    NEWS.

    This isn't news by any stretch of the meaning.. And a viral marketing campaign posted to the front page yesterday about psychics remote sensing aliens? Jesus Slashdot.. NO news is better than turning yourself into a tabloid. Please stop with the posting of non-events and get back to the real reporting :(
    • it's funny.

      laugh.

      Because the alternative is crying when you realize that other privacy policies are just as bad with out the veneer of satire.

      Also, the psychics and aliens thing was supposed to go on Idle. And it was updated to be on idle. Unknown Lamer even posted in the thread about it.

      • I don't think it's as funny as you think it is. I dunno, maybe the quality bar for comedy these days has been lowered a fair bit but I find reading *this* kind of article as tedious and uninspired. Ok, sure, mocking the potential reality we might soon face.. people need that. But then it's not funny then either, it's somber trying to appear funny.

        Regarding the alien psychics thing: Accident acknowledged.
  • Serious, want to do be within a kilometer of a user computer when the click is on.
  • ... this license. Expect it to go into production sometime next year across the web.

  • by antdude (79039) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @06:50PM (#38823805) Homepage Journal

    "This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. All your base are belong to us. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices.

    This modified disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from."

  • implant a chip in your body?
    even for a job they can't make you do that I don't thing this will hold up in any court.

  • by locopuyo (1433631) on Wednesday January 25, 2012 @07:06PM (#38823933) Homepage
    Skipity is just ahead of their time. Just wait 10 years in the future and they will all be like this. The Patriot Act, the NDAA, the ever expanding TSA. It is only a matter of time.
  • Really? That is the BEST privacy policy I've ever seen. As proof I offer the fact that I actually read it all the way through, and enjoyed reading it. Neither of those things has ever happened before...
  • by Digital Vomit (891734) on Thursday January 26, 2012 @12:43AM (#38825733) Homepage Journal

    With much of the web upset over about Google's latest privacy policy changes, it's helpful to remember it could be much worse

    Helpful in what way? In an "sure, our president (for example) is doing something very bad, but it's helpful to remember a worse leader in history: Hitler" sort of way?

  • What is the bottom line on Google's new consolidated privacy policy? What was private before that is now not private?

    • The bottom line is that you are using Google's services FREE OF CHARGE and if you don't like their new privacy policy then you are free to use some other service, free or paid, of your own choice. And if you believe the outrage will be/is so tremendous, feel free to start your own competing services with a 'better' policy.

A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. -- Dennis M. Ritchie

Working...