Torrent Users Fight Back 238
eonlabs writes "Torrent users being blamed for illegally downloading Far Cry are fighting back. In a 96-page lawsuit, the lawyers at Dunlap, Grubb, and Weaver are being accused of: 'extortion, fraudulent omissions, mail fraud, wire fraud, computer fraud and abuse, racketeering, fraud upon the court, abuse of process, fraud on the Copyright Office, copyright misuse, unjust enrichment, and consumer protection violations.'"
Charges obviously too lenient (Score:0, Funny)
My favorite part (Score:5, Funny)
New Hollywood business model (Score:5, Funny)
2) Give it time to be distributed illegally on the internet
3) Find those who have supposedly shared it
4) Sue everybody, but count on only some people paying to settle out of court and collect fines
5) PROFIT!
Fraud fraud fraud (Score:5, Funny)
That's a lot of fraud. I can see how this must have happened:
Man: Well, what've you got?
Prosecutor: Well, there's extortion and blackmail; extortion racketeering and blackmail; blackmail and fraud; extortion and fraud; racketeering extortion blackmail and fraud; extortion indecent exposure blackmail and fraud; fraud indecent exposure fraud fraud criminal negligence and fraud; fraud misuse of police property fraud fraud racketeering fraud extortion and spam;
Vikings: Fraud fraud fraud fraud...
Prosecutor: ...fraud fraud fraud criminal negligence and fraud; fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud traffic violation fraud fraud fraud...
Vikings: fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud!
Prosecutor: ...or international terror conspiracy to overthrow the government with an insurgent army funded with drug trafficking and armed robbery and fraud.
Wife: Have you got anything without fraud?
Prosecutor: Well, there's fraud indecent exposure extortion and fraud, that's not got much fraud in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY fraud!
Man: Why can't she have racketeering extortion blackmail and fraud?
Wife: THAT'S got fraud in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much fraud in it as fraud extortion traffic ticket and fraud, has it?
Vikings: Fraud fraud fraud fraud... (Crescendo through next few lines...)
Wife: Could you do the extortion indecent exposure blackmail and fraud without the fraud then?
Prosecutor: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like fraud!
Vikings: Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud!
Prosecutor: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud!
Prosecutor: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have extortion indecent exposure blackmail and fraud without the fraud.
Wife: I don't like fraud!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your fraud. I love it. I'm having fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud extortion fraud fraud fraud and fraud!
Vikings: Fraud fraud fraud fraud. Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud!
Waitress: Shut up!! Extortion is off.
Man: Well could I have her fraud instead of the extortion then?
Waitress: You mean fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud fraud... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings: (Singing elaborately...) Fraud fraud fraud fraud. Lovely fraud! Wonderful fraud! Fraud fra-a-a-a-a-ud fraud fra-a-a-a-a-ud fraud. Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Lovely fraud! Fraud fraud fraud fraud!
I want to thank whomever gave me the USCG info (Score:5, Funny)
Without it, I'd have not been able to get my people in on this so fast.
We wanted to go with a Federal RICO suit but instead decided a larger levee of smaller charges would be far more effective.
Now sit back and watch the show, people. USCG is about to get their ass torn up like EA, and I'm only providing financial support this round, I'm not even named in the suit.
They forgot slander (Score:5, Funny)
for insinuating they willingly watched Far Cry.
Re:This will go well.... (Score:4, Funny)
You got something against gay recursive lawyers?
It's lawyers all the way down.
Re:This won't go anywhere (Score:5, Funny)
We're not evil.
Speak for yourself.
Re:My favorite part (Score:5, Funny)
Let me rephrase - like an ACTUAL pirate, not a curious teen or aging grandma.
We obviously need new terminology. By labeling people who let's say "back up" data as "pirates", the word "pirate" has come to mean something harmless, even cool. Yet the word is still used in the traditional sense to describe people who attack at sea, and destroy rather than create, and kill viciously, and actually take something away from people.
The pirate analogy is a bad one for copying data. The jesus analogy works better I think... he made some copies of fish and bread and distributed it free of charge.
People who copy data should henceforth be referred to as "miracle workers." Now try to paint them in the same exaggeratedly bad light with that name.
Much better movie parody (shorter!!!) (Score:4, Funny)
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Fraud, murder, arson, and fraud.
Hedley Lamarr: You said fraud twice.
Applicant: I like fraud.