Microsoft Patents "Fonts With Feelings" 150
theodp writes "Seems like those old IBM flaming logo commercials (video) should count as prior art, but the USPTO granted Microsoft a patent Tuesday for inventing Fonts With Feelings. Giving font characters sound, motion, and altered appearance, Microsoft asserts, gives a user 'the impression the fonts have personalities,' thereby enhancing the user's understanding and/or fluency of words. From the patent: 'As a few non-limiting examples, the word 'giant' can get very large; the word 'lion' can morph into a line drawing of a lion; the word 'toss' can morph into a hand that animates a ball toss; the word 'bees' could show bees flying around with or without a 'buzz' sound effect'. If you're curious, Microsoft Research offers some explanations and examples of 'fontlings' in action — don't miss 'f' kicks 'a'!"
and the world Microsoft... (Score:2, Funny)
The world Microsoft can morph into a Monopoly game board.
Re:and the world Microsoft... (Score:1, Funny)
Seriously, sometime it seems to me that microsoft is the best at trolling microsoft, I could never have imagined something absurd like that patent, but they DID it...
Hi there ! (Score:5, Funny)
-> No
You are very stubborn today, that fits just perfectly with a bold face type ! Would you like me to change to bold ?
-> No
Ah, you probably misunderstood me and want to get a clear sans-serif font ! Yes ?
Clippy's offspring ?
MicroSoft patents Patent Process (Score:3, Funny)
Redmond, Wash: Today MicroSoft announced that it had obtained a patent on the process necessary to obtain a patent, said Steve Ballmer, simultaneously announcing his position as MicroSoft's new Chief Extortionist. "This is a testament to MicroSoft's continuing innovation in the area of innovation," said Ballmer, "and the debt that all corporations owe to MicroSoft for innovating and, er, innovating the patent process."
MicroSoft then announced a patent license application process, wherein all new patent license applicants will need to apply to MicroSoft and pay a licensing fee before applying to the USPTO. Rumours on the street also indicated that MicroSoft was preparing its legal division to send Cease and Desist notices to anyone filing patent application who had not applied for and received a license to apply for a patent from MicroSoft, and a concurrent series of suits claiming that patents granted to applicants who had not received licenses from MicroSoft were the property of MicroSoft.
"Innovatively protecting our innovation and all our innovative property rights is the core of innovation," said Ballsymer.
Re:and the world Microsoft... (Score:3, Funny)
HEY!
tag gone WILD!
Coming soon to your Aunt Sophie's e-mail message (Score:3, Funny)
Just another tool in the annoyance arsenal. If Splice was about software it'd probably be about a product like this.
.
Re:Hi there ! (Score:3, Funny)
So what would you like to write about?
->Google.
(Turns red.) Oh, my.
->I hear they've banned Microsoft Windows.
(Turns blue.) Oh, dear.
->Something about security, I think.
(Turns invisible.)
->Bye now.
Re:40 years of Prior Art (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The words of the day are... (Score:3, Funny)
Psst... This is with a computer. That makes it TOTALLY new.