Wisconsin DA Threatens Arrests Over Sex Ed 703
WrongSizeGlass writes "USA Today is reporting that the DA of Juneau County, Wisconsin, is warning teachers that they could face arrest over the new sex-ed curriculum. District Attorney Scott Southworth said a new state law that requires students learn to use condoms and other contraceptives 'promotes the sexualization — and sexual assault — of our children.' Southworth also said, 'I'm not looking to charge any teachers. I've got enough work to do.'"
Re:News for Nerds??!! (Score:0, Funny)
It may surprise you, but most of us geeks also have sex
A fleshlight or your right hand don't count. Having to get your cousin give you a handjob doesn't either.
Dear Juneau, Wisconsin... (Score:5, Funny)
Just because you share your name with an Alaska city doesn't mean you have to be as dumb as Sarah Palin.
I know what the secret plan is... (Score:5, Funny)
The atheists and devil-worshippers are trying to convince us that giving kids knowledge about sex will prevent things like STDs, AIDS, and pregnancies, but that is simply not true.
The Bible, the most authoritative source on the subject, clearly points out that knowledge is the root of all evil. For example, in the Book of Genesis, Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden for eating from the Tree of Knowledge. A True Believer of the Lord can only interpret that in one way: Knowledge is Evil, and it is our duty to make sure our children are as poorly educated as possible.
Not just in regards to sex, but in other subjects, too. I have never allowed either of my children to attend school, and I forbid them to read anything except the Bible. I taught them enough english to understand it, and very little else. We do not have a television in our house, nor do we have a computer. For those wondering, I am typing this up at an internet cafe. I do this for their safety, as it is my duty to protect them from the dangers of the world. I despise my parents for making me go to college, and as a parent, I feel it is my responsibility to do things the Right Way. The Only Way.
The Way God Wants Me To Do Things.
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Someone needs a firing... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:5, Funny)
It's not too late.
Did you know that it's possible to get a condom over someone's head and that this will deprive them of air?
I remember in HS (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dear Juneau, Wisconsin... (Score:5, Funny)
Q: What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
A: Only 20% of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.
Parents wake up (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Sex (Score:3, Funny)
I think the clitoris, which AFAIK has no practical function, is strong evidence that sex was literally designed to be enjoyed.
God invented it, says I.
Re:Sex (Score:4, Funny)
They do. You would be surprised in the number of churches that have drive thrus. Where I am it is mostly catholic churches that offer a quick prayer and communion to those who can't be bothered sitting through the entire sermon. I wouldn't be surprised if other denominations had them as well.
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:5, Funny)
... at the same time. Could be sequential, you know, a revenge rape or something.
Unless, of course, both want to be pitchers and neither wants to be a catcher. And they are fighting over it. Then they could be raping each other at the same time.
It's times like this that I wonder why I was cursed with a vivid imagination.
The modern way to keep your kid a virgin. (Score:4, Funny)
Buy your kid World of Warcraft, get them playing it and they will be virgins for the foreseeable future. And they will have plenty of company to act as a support group, millions of other virgins.
Re:Dear Juneau, Wisconsin... (Score:3, Funny)
Q: What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
A: Lipstick.
Re:Sex (Score:2, Funny)
I have a short anecdote that backs up your statement, and expands it a little. Two eyewitnesses (one of which was my father) reported to me that a man who claimed to be christian ripped a page out of his Bible because there was a passage in his Bible that clearly contradicted his beliefs. This happened in the 'bible belt' too.
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:5, Funny)
Remember: These are the best legislators we could get. Just imagine the ones that didn't make the cut.
Yeah, they end up working as District Attorneys.
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:5, Funny)
No, you see teaching kids how to lock their car door leads to teaching them how to unlock their car door. And once they've learned how to unlock their door, they're bound to learn how to unlock someone else's door. And that's just a short hop over to stealing a car. Clearly all knowledge leads to Bad Things (C). We must keep our kids in total ignorance*. Only then can we be a Great Country!
* Of course, ignorance is bliss. And everyone knows that happiness leads to sin, so we must keep them ignorant and punish them enough so that they're never happy at all. For their own safety, of course.
Comment removed (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:4, Funny)
I'm going to go bleach my eyes now, and hope I can get it far enough into my brain to stop the images.
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:4, Funny)
Fun party trick:
Use a plain latex condom with no lube or spermicide (trust me on this one). Stretch the condom using your fingers, fist, and finally two fists. You will eventually get it to the point where you can actually slip it over the top of your head. Roll it down until it covers your nose, but not your mouth.
Breath in through your mouth. Breath out through your nose. Condom fills with a little bit of air. Repeat.
Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat ... eventually, the condom will fill with so much air that it literally towers 2 feet above your head, with the little sperm reservoir pointing toward the ceiling. Keep filling ... eventually, the condom will burst loudly and dramatically.
I have seen this done at parties and laughed my ass off. I have done this at parties and had the whole room laughing their asses off. The drunker the crowd, the more enthusiastic the response.
This is great news for science! (Score:3, Funny)
This is the first verified example of someone traveling through a time warp Space-Time Warp Verified In Wisconsin [slushdot.com]
Scott Southworth is living proof that mini-wormholes exists, that they permit time travel, and that, as scientists suspected, you cannot bring information forward in time.
Pretty badly actually (Score:1, Funny)
We need to step up the war on religion if we're going to prevent all that crap. In the US, the other religions are such a small voting block that the don't make much difference, but if we could just stamp out Christianity once and for all, we'd have a new age of reason in the US, which would solve several of those problems.
A culture of self-delusion leads to a people who are easily deluded.
I know you hate what's happening these days, or you wouldn't be able to cough up such a list of lamentations so facilely, and I'm sure you know that if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem, so make a good start tomorrow morning by trying to get through the day without depending on the presence of an all-seeing invisible friend.
You won't feel better, but after a while, you'll know better.
Re:Sex (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:4, Funny)
That would raise Christians to 51%
I don't think percentages work like that.
Ah. Erhm. Well, it's the new Durnstorff method of calculating percentages. Very high math. Very advanced. Um. Yeah.
:p. Guess I better hand in my, ah ... physics degree *blush*. Just one of those days I guess .... *sigh*
:p), the percentage of divorcees in the combined population will be bounded by the 2 individual percentages.
:p)
:p
Oh what's the use? Kill me. Kill me now. Isn't there a delete button on this damn thing? Sheesh. Just hope no one I know sees this
But yeah, you are of course right. It doesn't work that way. In a futile attempt to redeem myself, I sat down and worked it out. If a fraction a of population X is divorced and a fraction b of pop. Y is divorced, and a>=b, then we CAN say that a fraction (b + f) of the total population (X+Y) will be divorced, where f = (a-b)*X/(X+Y) (and f>=0 but <1). The fraction of total divorcees can also be written as (a - g) for g = (a-b)*Y/(Z+Y). Simply put (if I haven't managed to mess this up as well
So, all I can say for sure is that the percentage of divorcees in the combined group of born again c. + other c. MUST be greater than 24% but less than 27%. How much greater depends on the populations (which should have been obvious to me even without the above) in precisely the way shown above. As for the atheists/agnostics, I guess we can't say anything can we? (except that the individual percentages must be between 0 and 100?
Icanhasgeekcard back now?
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:1, Funny)
Maybe all this abstinence is very depressing :p
Re:Translation for the legislative impared. (Score:5, Funny)
Icanhasgeekcard back now?
You have displayed proper remorse and demonstrated your understanding of the subject matter. All is forgiven. However, you must still face eight hours of "helpful" replies to your initial post. Your card will be returned when this story drops off the front page.