New Phone Allows Bosses To Snoop On Staff 143
tad001 writes "The Japanese phone giant KDDI has developed a way to track users' movements in fine detail. It works by analyzing the movement of accelerometers, found in many handsets. Activities such as walking, climbing stairs, or even cleaning can be identified, the researchers say. The company plans to sell the service to clients such as managers, foremen, and employment agencies."
It works (Score:5, Funny)
My boss just came into my office and told me to get the hell off of Slashdot and get back to work!
Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (Score:3, Funny)
I'd do shit like holding it, and moving it back and forth while climbing the stairs. Then they'd be wondering "Why the hell is this guy always vacuuming the stairs?"
Either that, or I'd be constantly shaking it, and doing weird shit with it, just to screw up their tracking....
My Boss would wonder if I was alive. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:It works (Score:3, Funny)
That's a severe invasion of privacy - have you discussed it with your union representative?
It's baffling how much control that some people seems to want to have over their peers.
Re:It works (Score:4, Funny)
What? How can it do that? Unless wanking creates extreme readings on the accelerometer, I don't see how...
Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (Score:5, Funny)
Think of 2 stepper motors hooked up with USB and a small gyroscope cradle for the phone. Lego mindstorms should have something that will fit the bill.
"Sir, employee 3392 is doing barrel rolls again!"
Re:It works (Score:5, Funny)
But my code's compiling! http://xkcd.com/303/ [xkcd.com]
Pennsylvania school district (Score:5, Funny)
The Pennsylvania school district announces that they plan to end their controversial laptop policy and give harmless cell phones to their students to make up for spying on them.
Re:Wow, a perfect match! (Score:5, Funny)
They carefully locked the office door, just in case, and let the hot and steamy action begin... completely ignoring the security camera from the parking lot that happened to point directly at their office window!
Next time folks, not only lock the office door, but also close the blinds!
Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (Score:5, Funny)
Attach to a drill and give it a spin. Tell them you had a bit of trouble on your way in to work. Let them rack their brains figuring out what happened.
Re:It works (Score:5, Funny)
Damn straight! You will pry my cock from my cold, dead hands!
Re:It works (Score:3, Funny)
If they turn on the microphone, you've got them. Then, when you're sure they're listening, have a conversation all about the horrific and eventually fatal torture you'd inflict on the managers if you ever got fired or found out they were spying on you. Just act out your own part and the voice of some horrified other person.
Then, they're stuck.
Re:It works (Score:3, Funny)
Damn straight! You will pry my cock from my cold, dead hands!
Don't worry. What is a straight going to do with somebody else's cock?
Oh dear (Score:1, Funny)
Re:It works (Score:3, Funny)
What is a straight going to do with somebody else's cock?
There is an obvious, logical answer to that, but of course a Slashdot geek male would never figure it out :-)
Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder... (Score:2, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
GREAT! I should have read this earlier... (Score:2, Funny)
... my boss just asked me how my interview went.
Re:Wow, a perfect match! (Score:5, Funny)
True story. My now retired dad had his own company, with about 120 employees. One night he was working late and when closing off, he found the head of the tech design department screwing the cleaning lady. My dad told him the conversation went like this:
Cleaning lady: *moan*
Manager: "Oh yeah!"
Dad: *opens door*
Dad: "Oh hi there!"
Manager: "Get lost, Paul!!"
Dad: *laughs* "Don't forget the lights when you're done!"