"No Scan, No Fly" At Heathrow and Manchester 821
An anonymous reader writes "It is now compulsory for people selected for a full body scan to take part, or they will not be allowed to fly from Heathrow or Manchester airports. There is no optional pat down. Also, a rule which meant that people under 18 were not allowed to participate in the body scanner trial has been overturned by the government. There is no mention of blurring out the genitals, however reports a few years back said X-ray backscatter devices aren't effective unless the genitals of people going through them are visible."
What happens (Score:5, Funny)
If you walk through with a hard-on?
Re:What happens (Score:5, Funny)
If you walk through with a hard-on?
They make you get off.
Speaking as a morbidly obese male (Score:5, Funny)
I was quite upset about this until I realised that
a) The person viewing the image will be in another room and won't actually meet me, and
b) I can stand in that thing and jiggle my lard around like the dancing baby from Ally McBeal and make whoever is watching them image lose their lunch.
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Britan has beaches! (Score:5, Funny)
And they are far better then any foreign beaches. No burning sand to scorch your feet on, you do not have to actually enter the sea to be soaked to the bone and free condoms float by whenever you need one!
Re:You had nothing to hide, right? (Score:5, Funny)
The genitals are pretty much the same for everybody.
Mine disagree with that statement.
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:5, Funny)
No pat-downs? (Score:5, Funny)
Effing great, there goes my sex life.
Well, at least it was replaced with something that caters to my exhibitionist urges.
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:4, Funny)
Annoying thing is sometimes life just gets in the way of making such decisions. I hadn't flown since 2001 until March last year taking all my trips to Europe via boat, bus and train.
That's fine when you start from the UK (or some other European or pseudo-European location) but getting to Europe by train from the US (or other "foreign" place) takes forever, and don't get me started about busses.
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:5, Funny)
I take the bus to European cities all the time from the US. Not only do I not get stripsearched, I get to visit Spongebob.
Re:Speaking as a morbidly obese male (Score:3, Funny)
Since we are technically speaking about UK, I doubt that the Brits allow big animals such as donkeys into the airplane.
Re:Speaking as a morbidly obese male (Score:4, Funny)
After losing their lunch they can do rectal exam on you.
That's why I always go for the megaburrito with extra sour cream for my pre-flight meal. No reason I shouldn't share the fun of lactose intolerance.
Right (Score:5, Funny)
Another reason not to fly. Period.
If god had meant us to fly he wouldn't have given us genitals.
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:3, Funny)
... are generally shocked by the fact that Australians and Americans shower together ...
Is this always the case? I guess it's pretty lucky for the Yanks that Aussies are so ubiquitous but what if yer an Aussie and there are no Yanks about? Do you have to use the bath?
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:5, Funny)
You're more likely to die from falling down your basement stairs, and far more likely to die at the hands of your own family than a terrorist.
Outrageous! Why isn't the the Department of Homeland Security protecting me from my own family?
They should also turn my basement stairs into a playground slide while they're at it.
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:4, Funny)
>
You're more likely to die from falling down your basement stairs,...than a terrorist.
This makes me feel good, I don't have a basement so that means I'll have a zero chance of being killed by terrorist. Actually, that sounds about right.
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:3, Funny)
They should also turn my basement stairs into a playground slide while they're at it.
Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how many children were killed on playground slides during that time frame?
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:2, Funny)
That's why I always whip out my genitals before going down stairs. And elevators. Not escalators
though... I had a bad experience with that one.
Just you wait.... (Score:4, Funny)
Bonus for /.ers... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Another reason not to fly via Heathrow (Score:4, Funny)
You're more likely to die from falling down your basement stairs, and far more likely to die at the hands of your own family than a terrorist.
What?! My family is more dangerous than TEH TERRORISTS?!
My God, I have to respond to this threat in a disproportionate and irrational way! I must strike first for my own safety! Fight them at their house so I don't have to fight them at mine!
Hold on I'll be right back...
Okay. My family is all dead. I feel much safer now. Like I can finally think...
Hmm, wait a minute, I'm of course my family's family, and if they were killed by me, their family...
NOOOO! Damn you, self fulfilling prophecy! DAMN YOU!