UK Copyright Group Tells Cinemas to Ban Laptops 438
Sockatume writes "Cinema chain Cineworld now has a policy banning anyone from carrying a laptop into a theatre, even if it is not used. The management claims that this is an anti-piracy move on the advice of the Federation Against Copyright Theft, the much-mocked source of all kinds of dubious anti-piracy statements. When it was pointed out that the laptop had no camera, the management made a temporary exception. For customers, the message is clear: leave your laptop in the car. For pirates, the message is clear: there is more money to be made slinking around cinema car parks looking for laptop bags."
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Laptop bags. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:3, Funny)
Or maybe conveniently located rentable lockers will start showing up at the theater, which you can pay to store all your potentially infringing devices.
Ooooo - I like that idea. Then, while you're in the theater, the duly authorized officials from the RIAA and MPAA can search your hard drive for stolen music and movies. :)
Who watches these horrible videos? (Score:4, Funny)
Who are these people who watch theater video camera recordings of movies? That's really sad. At leaste be a self-respecting pirate and get a decent copy.
Re:Laptop bags. (Score:5, Funny)
Pirates do make money, not only through piracy, but drug dealing, selling babies, and holding the Earth itself to ransom with their deadly Asteroid Ray. I'm apalled that you would even question this.
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:3, Funny)
Gee gosh. You meet your wife/friend/furry-afficionado after work, have dinner and then go to movie. In your briefcase you have your notebook.
God dammit, that just ruined any desire I had to go see "Where the Wild Things Are"
Anti-Piracy Warnings (Score:4, Funny)
Myself and friends used to emit a fairly loud "Yarrrrrrrrrrr" every time a "Piracy is a crime" warning came up at the cinema. Sometimes even heard an answering one from across the cinema.
Don't know how it is in other chains but at Vue cinemas in the UK they now use night vision cameras to monitor the people watching the film. ]I once saw a spoof anti-piracy ad involving night vision and silenced sniper rifles - life imitating satire, so I guess I know the next step.
Secondly, this monitoring strikes me as being like the millimetre wave scanners at airports. Sure it's nominally for justifiable purposes but every time I see a message saying they're monitoring us with night vision for copyright purposes I have a mental image of a couple making out in the dark at the back of a cinema and a security guard in an office somewhere watching them using light-enhancing CCTV going "Oooh, go on! You dirty minx! Oooh, you like that, do you?". Seriously, copyright or not, it's not OK to watch cinema goers watching the film - that's plain just creepy.
I'm a sysadmin (Score:4, Funny)
One week a month, I get paid extra for being at most 15 min away from ssh 24/7. So I have to carry a laptop and a 3G usb key at all times.
Of course I don't go to the movies anymore, the experience sucks so much with all the stupid jerks talking and/or forgetting to turn off their phone.
Re:Bionic eyes (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Just "blind" the cameras (Score:4, Funny)
the standard IR blocker does not cover this, as pointing a TV remote at your camera will show)
Oh wow, I didn't know this, that's nifty. Purple lights! Woo!
Re:This would be the last straw for me. (Score:4, Funny)
Where can I get this free popcorn and soda? And on a related note, where is all this free beer the OSS people keep talking about?
Re:Movies (Score:5, Funny)
Good thing we have engineers working hard to remove the smartphone/laptop distinction.
Not to worry, the film industry is hard at work on legislation to make engineers illegal.
Re:According to a blog post (Score:5, Funny)
To be fair, it's a professional journalist's blog post.
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:3, Funny)
...please make sure to stop by our convenient memory erasing station, so that you don't carry unauthorized memories out of the theater.
Where was this device when I made the mistake of seeing 'Ultraviolet'? /shudders
Re:Bionic eyes (Score:3, Funny)
No problem, you'd just have to learn to blink one eye at a time.
Re:Movies (Score:2, Funny)
i'd rather have seen the new star trek as a bootleg than have paid the $12 to see it........
Re:Bionic eyes (Score:4, Funny)
That'd be a horrible pirate copy. The video would go black every few seconds.
It would also be more prone to "male gaze" than even normal movie standards.
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:3, Funny)
Is that a candy bar in your pocket, or are you just happy see this movie?
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:1, Funny)
I would have to ask you just what kind of movies legally bind people enjoy.
Clearly they enjoy bondage movies.
Re:Movies (Score:3, Funny)
Re:why would you need a laptop in a movie theater? (Score:3, Funny)