Heart Monitors In Middle School Gym Class?

An anonymous reader writes "My son brought home an order form from his middle school. Apparently the 7th (his grade) and 8th graders are being asked (required?) to purchase their own straps for the heart monitors they're to wear during gym class. I know nothing yet of the device in question, but have left a voice-mail with the assistant principal asking him to call me so I may ask some questions about the program and the device. My tinfoil-hat concern is that the heart rate data will be tied to each child, then archived and eventually used for/against them down the road when applying for insurance, high-stress jobs, etc. 'I see you had arrhythmia during 7th grade pickle ball? No insurance for you' Has anyone heard of such a program, or had their child(ren) take part in it? Does the device transmit to the laptop the overweight gym teacher will be watching instead of running laps with the kids? Perhaps data is downloaded from the device after the class? Or am I just being paranoid? Thanks for any insight."

You're just being paranoid

[Locke2005]

Supplying that information to anyone else would be a violation of FERPA and HIPAA statutes. In fact, you should hope that they DO leak this information, because then you could sue their asses off.

Topper

[Anonymous Coward]

That's nothing!!!111
My kid was drugged and kidnapped, then had an explosive collar put around their neck, and dumped on an Island for a battle to the death.

Also, I think you're over reacting

Re:Middle school or super secret insurance covert

[Anonymous Coward]

There is a *fucking* middle school? Damn stupid conservative parents never let me have any fun when I was a kid!

Re:Invest in a tinfoil hat for yourself

[Duradin]

And homeschool. Unless you know about the government mind control devices implanted in all books. No-schooling is the safest. What the kids don't know can't hurt them. Plus with all their free time they can start digging and pouring cement to prepare for the invasion of the mole-men.

Re:Stupid new Gym Classes

[Anonymous Coward]

I've heard that fundamental gym education has been neglected in the US, and students have been doing poorly on standardized gym tests for some time now. The future looks pretty bleak for US gym-based technologies.

Paranoid

[spitzak]

There is a secret device in there that is using WiFi (with it's own cancer-causing radio waves, too) to communicate directly to Obama's death panels in the (former) white house. They are still perfecting the reverse control that can kill your kid right on the spot the moment they figure out his health care will be too expensive, so I would really watch out if they insist on updating the device! Fortunately a tin foil hat pressed firmly around the kids head will stop the transmissions, and for extra security you can also get a surgeon to implant tin foil wrapped right around the kid's heart, too.

Seriously, this is obviously a heart-rate monitor like those in treadmills to measure the quality of aerobic exercise.

You think THIS is bad

[jbuck]

You think this bad? Sure now they are just monitoring the rate of your child's cardiopulmonary development. and perhaps worse yet, they are probably going to compare your child to all the other children based on this metric. But this is just the tip of iceberg! I know how these public schools work. In a few weeks time you'll get notice that they have also been tracking your child's mental and cognitive development!! And, per their M.O., comparing your child to all the other children. They'll probably even have your child get up in front of all the other children and perform some sort of demonstration or cognitive feat. I've even seen cases where they administer tests and enter the results into your child's permanent record. Let's just hope and pray that the laws of the land will prevent these so-called "tests" from falling into the hands of potential future employers. Or, god forbid, future high schools.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Paranoid

[captainClassLoader]

Renraku says:

Paranoia, yes, but on who's part?

...Now they're instating this to make sure that if someone else comes in with a funky rhythm...

If someone comes in with a funky rhythm, the school should encourage them to listen to some James Brown or Parliament Funkadelic so that they can get that shit down right.

Re:You've just not experienced it

[GMFTatsujin]

That's what you get for caring, Bruce. If you'd just practiced more neglect, everything would have turned out fine.

Excertion == Exertion or excretion?!

[Dogtanian]

It isn't monitoring their health status, it is monitoring their excertion level.

You mean the teachers are measuring how much they're crapping in the toilet? [google.co.uk] Eeww... that's definitely going too far!

Re:Holy shit?

[PopeRatzo]

Clearly the school is afraid of being sued when some kid keels over from too much exertion.

Or just maybe their afraid that the morbidly obese 4th graders that come wheezing into gym class with secret sauce stains on their chins might have to be watched a little more closely during exercise.

But of course, these are school boards making these decisions, and educators, and everyone knows that educators are all a bunch of commie-fascist-libruls who want to deny our god-given right to raise our kids like veals and stuff them so fat that they won't have the energy to bother us while we're watching Glenn Beck who by-gawd has the number of that Barack bin Obama who wants to force us all to have access to health care just like Hitler.

Re:Holy shit?

[Darkness404]

Those pedometers were always fun to just put on a massage chair and watch it rack up all the steps :)

Re:Holy shit?

[no-body]

Paranoid?

Hardly - greedy, most likely..

Hey - wanna buy a DVD with 2000 folk's heart rate records over 3 years, names with addresses and all?

Re:Holy shit?

[Jaqenn]

I don't understand why this was marked insightful. Because when I read it, I see:

The kids will learn about pulses and heart rates and fitness...

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...I hope you die.

Must be my conservative brainwashing.

Re:Holy shit?

[PopeRatzo]

(Conservatives do it to adults, not children.)

You must not have heard the most recent fooferall about how the Barack Osama gummint is trying to vaccinate our kids for H1N1 and shoot Gardisil into our daughter's untouched vaginas.

And what about "President" Hussein bin Obama trying to brainwash our kids with commie-nazi notions about staying in school and working hard?

He can have my daughter's vagina when he wrests it from my cold, dead hands.

YES

[wampus]

You are being paranoid and it troubles me greatly that your retarded ass reproduced.

Re:Holy shit?

[Xtravar]

I'm about as conservative/libertarian as they come. But this post is the funniest thing I've read all day!

I'm a vegetarian, but this is the best hamburger I've ever had.

I suggest going back on your psych meds.

[nedlohs]

quick.

Re:Holy shit?

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes, well, I am certainly not going to let my child come into contact with one of these "pedometers".