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MPAA Pushes Once Again To Close the Analog Hole 275

Posted by kdawson
from the encrypted-pipe-to-your-eardrum dept.
Tyler Too writes "The MPAA is once again trying to badger the FCC into approving Selectable Output Control, which would plug the 'analog hole' during broadcasts of some prerelease HD movies. MPAA bigshots met with seven staffers from the FCC Media Bureau last week, calling the petition a 'pro-consumer' (!) move designed to 'enable movie studios to offer millions of Americans in-home access to high-value, high definition video content.' At least the studios are now acknowledging that SOC would break the functionality of some HDTVs, an admission they were previously unwilling to make: 'What's interesting about the group's latest filing, however, is that it effectively concedes that the output changes it wants could, in fact, hobble some home video systems. "The vast majority of consumers would not have to purchase new devices to receive the new, high-value content contemplated by MPAA's" request, the group assures the FCC.'"
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MPAA Pushes Once Again To Close the Analog Hole

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  • Future Post (Score:5, Funny)

    by eldavojohn (898314) * <.moc.liamg. .ta. .nhojovadle.> on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:15AM (#29310083) Journal
    Subject: New Setup

    posted by eldavojohn (898314) * on 2060.09.04 9:05

    So, being an old man, I thought I would go legit and get all of my path transmitters MPAA approved. I already had the Z-Ray player that has a 128 core processor to handle all the Z Discs and decrypt the DRM but I spent the extra $50 on the MPAA approved cord from that to my MPAA approved TV (which already has a 256 core processor to hand the encryption). Once all that was in place, I made the big purchase. It was only $100 to have an MPAA approved zoning specialist come in and stake off and area of my living approved by the MPAA for me and my family to view their copyrighted material in. Once that was complete, I got triplicate signoff on a form that allowed me to pay $500 to install two units on either side of the room that emit some sort of crazy field so that the photons leaving my MPAA TV unit can be seen normally within the MPAA designated zone in my living room. It's really neat to stand outside it and see static and then step inside and see it perfectly. You also have to put on headphones (only one set) to hear the sound because they haven't found a similar technology for it yet. Whatever it is that those things generate sure is strong. If the dog gets too close to one of them, it shits itself and walks in circles for about an hour. Also, you can't have metal things on you otherwise they heat up and burn you.

    But a couple thousand later and I can finally sit back and not worry about being prosecuted. You guys are all chumps for not enjoying this sort of MPAA certified technology!
  • by commodore64_love (1445365) on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:17AM (#29310111) Journal

    How do you deal with that problem?

    Cut off the head.

    (aims sniper rifle)

  • by purpledinoz (573045) on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:29AM (#29310211)
    That sounds like too much effort. They should just close the digital hole first. Encrypt the content using a 8192bit key and then throw it away. It fixes all the piracy issues. It would be decades before any pirate could recover the key, and since no player could play it, there would be no way for the pirates to steal the analog signal. It kills 2 birds with 1 stone. If the MPAA wants to buy the patent from me, that'll be $1M please.
  • by purpledinoz (573045) on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:35AM (#29310269)
    Hollywood already started encrypting the story lines of movies. I watched Quantum of Solace, and the story made no sense, it was completely scrambled. I'm waiting for the brain-implant chip that will unscramble the story.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:51AM (#29310439)

    "It was only $100 to have an MPAA approved zoning specialist come in and stake off and area of my living approved by the MPAA for me and my family to view their copyrighted material in."

    But what if you need to cover more people than your immediate family, or, heaven forbid, you have another child? You'll have to renegotiate your viewing contract. You should have gone for the "unlimited" option for $100 more that would cover future family members without having to resurvey the entertainment room. It also covers friends that might visit (as long as the total number of viewers is within your license), whereas with your current arrangement they have to remember to bring and plug in their own MPAA viewing cards to your equipment so that their viewing account can be automatically deducted. You'll regret it when one of your friends walks into the field, the viewbox turns to static, and the police show up a few minutes later at your door asking about attempted copyright violation.

    Always pay the extra fees to upgrade to the "ultimate" versions! Didn't they teach you that in school?

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:54AM (#29310453)

    Yeah, simple encryption was already quite visible in the 2000 film Memento (the plot played backwards), but later dropped for the more secure, random key plot you mention.

  • by drkich (305460) <dkichline&gmail,com> on Friday September 04, 2009 @09:55AM (#29310469) Homepage

    I don't know about you, but the title, "Close the Analog Hole" sounds like something you would hear on a pr0n site.

  • by NeverVotedBush (1041088) on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:03AM (#29310567)
    I think I finally figured out which analog hole they really want to close... (and with what...)
  • by omnichad (1198475) on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:09AM (#29310659) Homepage

    .noitpyrcne LTR dellac s'ti - thgiarts stcaf ruoy teG

  • by Seakip18 (1106315) on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:09AM (#29310661) Journal

    Ages ago? Man. You've missed some rather interesting shows that might appeal to your nerdier side.

    I'll just say "Good Eats" and leave it at that.

  • by Wowsers (1151731) on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:10AM (#29310665) Journal

    I wanted to help the RIAA/MPAA close the analogue hole, but the closest I could come up with is to use my thumbs to plug my ears, and the rest of my fingers to cover my eyes. Maybe that's what they think of modern content they produce which is accounting for falling sales, so crap you should not watch or listen to it. Your fingers are "digital" encryption!

  • by maxwell demon (590494) on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:31AM (#29310939) Journal

    No, it wasn't encrypted. It just was, as the title promised, a quantum story. Since you cannot observe the complete quantum state, quantum things usually don't seem to make sense to the classical mind.

  • by Sfing_ter (99478) on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:38AM (#29311013) Homepage Journal

    Wait - You're saying the Demopublicans and the Republocrats provide the same outcome? Shit. Perhaps we give them a paper cut with the Constitution.

  • Nonsense (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 04, 2009 @10:48AM (#29311141)

    Of course there is.

    Who wouldn't pay big money to see Big Brother or the Jerry Springer show in high definition 3D surround sound with extensive commentary on every second of the show?

    The key problem right now is that the MPAA can't close it's A***** Hole, so you're getting crap quality. If the MPAA were able to convince the FCC to close the MPAA's A***** Hole, there would be a lot of fresh new talent out there.

  • by Culture20 (968837) on Friday September 04, 2009 @11:36AM (#29311757)
    Subject: Re:New Setup

    posted by noodlesoupeaternoodlesoupeater (1093892093) * on 2060.09.04 9:10

    Splarg! u kinna spella wut-is 128 core processor? We use powers o 10 in CS, Mr anchent. roundup maths. u men 130 cor cpu! Splarg ina half! ROFLOLMAOWTFBBQSTWKKA!!1!!
  • by geekoid (135745) <dadinportland.yahoo@com> on Friday September 04, 2009 @11:46AM (#29311889) Homepage Journal

    That sound like the opposite of what you would hear on a porn site.

  • by FreeUser (11483) on Friday September 04, 2009 @12:02PM (#29312181)

    I'm just going to read books for now on. They're much cheaper and the stories aren't ruined by screenplay writers.

    Dateline 2020, United Corproate States of America(tm)

    It has come to the attention of your(tm) media(tm) elite(tm) that books do not offer a sufficient rate of return per consumer-hour to justify permitting their continued use. As is well known, consumer time is a precious commodity underpinning much of our(tm) service(tm) industry(tm), the squandering of which does untold(tm) economic(tm) damage(tm) and is thus punishable by ecomonic incentive(tm) (read: life-crippling fines), betterment through education(tm) (prison), or both.

    Consider: The current cost for watching a 2 hour reality TV episode consisting of 12 minutes RIAA approved and licensed music, 42 minutes inane chatter from the judges (inclusive 54 minutes of subliminal product placement), and 66 minutes of formally viewed commercials is $399,999.99 (EUR 39.95, £399.00) per consumer-viewer per download. That equates to approximately $200,000 (EUR 20, £200) of revinue generation per viewer per hour supporting Your(tm) Industry(tm).

    In contrast, the average book costs less than a meal out, a scant $99,950.00 (EUR 9.99, £99.95) on average. BUT, the average reader takes approximately 10 hours to read an average length book, resulting in a revinue stream of only $9,999.50 per hour (that's less than EUR 0.99, or about £10, per consumer-hour). Clearly, allowing consumers to entertain themselves for so little per hour is unacceptable. Worse, they can lend books to one another, or re-read them, reducing Your(tm) Industry(tm)'s rate of return per consumer-hour even further.

    Clearly this cannot be permitted. You have three days to your local X-Factor(tm) or Earth's Got Talent(tm) screening centre with every copy of every book that is thieving your eyes from Our Content(tm), to be presented for immediate destruction, or face prosecution under the Microsoft(tm) Disney(tm) Time-Warner(tm) Media(tm) Act(tm) (copyright (c) 2010 US Government, all reproduction forbidden) for unlawful squandering consumer-hours (doing what you want instead of watching what we require).

    And while you're visiting your local screening centre, be sure to take advantage of our newest offer to humiliate you publicly, at no cost to ourselves, as you try pathetically to have your image replicated on millions of our DRM protected, authorized and officially sanctioned media outlets.

    This Public Service Announcement(tm) paid for by you, brought to you by Your(tm) Media(tm) Industry(tm). Live, Serve, and Watch.

  • by squidfood (149212) on Friday September 04, 2009 @12:49PM (#29312815)
    Well, I've got some output for them from my analog hole if they want it.

I've never been canoeing before, but I imagine there must be just a few simple heuristics you have to remember... Yes, don't fall out, and don't hit rocks.

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