IBM "Invents" 40-Minute Meetings 161
theodp writes "On Thursday, the USPTO disclosed that self-described patent reform leader IBM wants a patent covering its System and Method for Enhancing Productivity. So what exactly have the four IBM inventors — including two Distinguished Engineers — come up with? In a nutshell, the invention consists of not permitting business meetings to be scheduled for a full hour during certain parts of the day. From the application: 'The observation is that if an hour were shorter, by a small amount, we would be more focused, and accomplish the same amount of work, but in less real time, thereby increasing productivity.'" I just knew someone would one up my 43-minute-meeting patent. That's why I've already begun intense R&D on my latest invention: the 37-minute meeting! Register early for an early-bird discount. Register even earlier for more of one.
Mine Mine (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Mine Mine (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mine Mine (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And The Loser Is... (Score:5, Funny)
Seems resonable (Score:5, Funny)
Could IBM Engineers be trolling for Slashdotters? (Score:2, Funny)
WTF?...Let's do the Time Warp again!!! (Score:3, Funny)
'The observation is that if an hour were shorter, by a small amount, we would be more focused, and accomplish the same amount of work, but in less real time, thereby increasing productivity.'"
[my emphasis]
This could have only come from some PHB/MBA marketdroid.
My bad! Maybe they are asking to be thrown into the event horizon of a black hole???
We have sacrificed many things to achieve IP(Imaginary Property) as a viable 'business model', but trying to redefine physics to artificially 'manipulate' time is just too much for anyone with more than a shoe-size IQ!
Or has Physical Sciences/Quantum Physics been redefined and subverted to become part of the MBA curriculum for PHB's? /. tradition, I propose:
Solutions?
In the time honored
We need to exhume all of our deceased scientists, wrap them in wire, and re-bury them inside of a magnetic coil==end of 'free energy' problem.
Damn, wrong format...correction:
revised
1. exhume and 'wire-wrap' all scientists, and re-bury inside of magnetic coil.
2. connect 'wired scientists' to MBA curriclum
3. ????
4. Profit!!! with unlimited 'free energy!!!'
This has to be the saddest thing I have seen in quite some time...for it to be entertainable enough to actually make it to the 'front page' of anywhere, including /., to link to it!
What about 6 minute abs? (Score:2, Funny)
No...not six, I said seven. No one's coming up with six. Who works out is six minutes? You won't even get your heart going, not even a mouse on a wheel. Sevens the key number here. Think about it. Seven doors. Seven-Eleven. Seven. Seven little chipmunks twirling on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' of gorgonzola when it's clearly bree time baby. Step into my office...cuz you're fuckin' fired!
Re:And The Loser Is... (Score:1, Funny)
You're too late. I already patented lemon-patent awards.
Congratulations! You win the first one!
THE BEST way to fight this (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm gonna patent the.. (Score:4, Funny)
How apt, considering your username
Re:And The Loser Is... (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Can apply this thinking elsewhere (Score:3, Funny)
The same thinking can be applied elsewhere - the first thing that comes to mind is television shows. A full 1 hour show sees me either dozing off or losing interest. If they could shorten the show to... I dunno... maybe 43-46 minutes, I would find it much easier to pay attention all the way through.
Sure, they would have to cut out some of the current content, but I'm sure these clever television people could find a way to make that work.