IBM Wants Patent For Lotus Notes-Free Meetings 179
theodp writes "Over at IBM, the Lotus Notes team has 'invented' preventing the use of their own product during meetings. Self-described patent reformer Big Blue has asked the USPTO for a patent covering Suppressing De-Focusing Activities During Selective Scheduled Meetings by forcing meeting attendees to 'submit to the computing system suspension requirements.' What's next — a patent for Verizon for blocking cellphone usage during movies?"
Grrrrr (Score:5, Funny)
DON'T. GIVE THEM. IDEAS.
Mean while (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Grrrrr (Score:4, Funny)
You might have to talk to a supervisor two or three times a billing cycle to keep it off your account; but they wouldn't actually provide a service, even a worse than useless one, without being overpaid for it.
Re:Grrrrr (Score:5, Funny)
DON'T. GIVE THEM. IDEAS.
It's not them you need to worry about...
In other news, Microsoft has patented the process of buying products from companies that aren't Microsoft. So now, if you buy a Microsoft product you will pay them some money, and if you buy someone else's product you will still have to pay them some money because of their patent. Industry analysts say they haven't noticed any difference from the status quo.
We're in Trouble (Score:2, Funny)
Re:yes... (Score:1, Funny)
They have a chronic and terminal disease (Score:4, Funny)
The best way to deal with Lotus Notes... (Score:2, Funny)
...would be to send a robot killer back in time to take out Ray Ozzie's mother before he was born.
Lotus Notes: (Score:4, Funny)
The only winning move is not to play.
~Philly
Re:What is IBM trying to do? (Score:4, Funny)
I'm guessing that they're trying to reform patent law by coming up with such ridiculous patents that the patent office can no longer take itself seriously, if indeed it still does.
Either that, or they have some seriously messed-up people in charge over there - c'mon, patenting non-use of software? Am I the only person who laughed at this article? Never even mind the patent summary itself, which keeps referring to the act of not using Lotus Notes as an "invention".
I think I'm going to go out and patent not using my personal computer between the hours of 6 pm and 10 pm EST. That way everyone else has to pay me for not using my PC during that timeframe.
Re:Sounds new to me (Score:5, Funny)
The good posts always come when I don't have mod points. Slashdot would be a much better place, if the phrase "My mocking something does not necessarily mean that I support the government suppressing it," were half as popular as that damned Franklin quote about security and liberty.
job security (Score:5, Funny)
Do nothing. Schedule meetings all day. Prevents termination by Lotus Notes. Works for middle management!
Patent on blocking male advances (Score:2, Funny)
Newsflash: Woman patents rejecting a guy's advances. The technology, dubbed Method and Apparatus to Block Male Advances, is patented under U.S. Patent #562434645779680584735235644. What that means for us geeks is that if you ask out a girl, she must say "Yes" unless she licenses that patent.
Re:Useless feature (Score:3, Funny)
What happens if it is your boss who is not paying attention? Do you report him to HR?
What if an attendee is not actually goofing off, but being distracted by email from his boss or subordinates who are not actually in the meeting?
Re:IANAL, etc. (Score:3, Funny)
...I've run into a number of browser plugins and other utility programs designed to stop timewasting).
You can just stick slashdot.org in your hosts file and be done with it, no need for a plugin...
Re:Grrrrr (Score:3, Funny)
Cat, meet A-GPS [wikipedia.org]. A-GPS, meet cat.
Re:Or you could tell people not to bring their lap (Score:1, Funny)
it also enables you to totally turn off your brian and makes time pass quickly
I hope you are a girl. Actually that doesn't make it good either.
Re:Grrrrr (Score:3, Funny)
I remember that... all they made was a highly vulnerable standard that creates frustrations galore for novice users.
Re:Over tweny years of experience has taught me... (Score:1, Funny)
Yes, they are a poor indicator.
Re:Lotus Notes is a Worldwide CONSPIRACY (Score:3, Funny)
I fully agree with everything you've said. The US branch of my company switched from Exchange to Notes when we merged witht he European network. And Notes has been completely asstarded. Client side it has a huge memory foot print, it's damn near impossible to customize, and just recently we discovered a really nasty security issue with it (lotus script in emails FTL). Server side, well, it's called Domino for a reason. If one server dies, they all fall down.
-Rick
Domino (Score:1, Funny)
Nope.
Since the Lotus Notes server is called "Domino", then the time traveling robot obviously must be called a Dominator .
(And of course any female version would be a Dominatrix)