You Are Not a Lawyer 693
Paul Ohm is starting a new "very occasional" feature on the Freedom To Tinker blog called You Are Not a Lawyer — "In this series, I will try to disabuse computer scientists and other technically minded people of some commonly held misconceptions about the law (and the legal system)." In the first installment, Ohm walks through the reasons why many techies' faith in the presence of "reasonable doubt" is so misplaced. "When techies think about criminal law, and in particular crimes committed online, they tend to fixate on [the 'beyond a reasonable doubt'] legal standard, dreaming up ways people can use technology to inject doubt into the evidence to avoid being convicted. I can't count how many conversations I have had with techies about things like the 'open wireless access point defense,' the 'trojaned computer defense,' the 'NAT-ted firewall defense,' and the 'dynamic IP address defense.' ... People who place stock in these theories and tools are neglecting an important drawback. There are another set of legal standards — the legal standards governing search and seizure — you should worry about long before you ever get to 'beyond a reasonable doubt.'"
Ohm's Law? (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like the piece should be called "Ohm's Law".
Pfft, lawyers (Score:5, Funny)
Difference between them and us?
IPBIC* (Score:5, Funny)
IANAL
YANAL
then who the hell is a lawyer?
TWTHIAL?
WWJD?
JWRTFM!
*I post because I care
YANAL (Score:5, Funny)
Is Paul Ohm a Lawyer? (Score:1, Funny)
It sure does not sound like this guy is much of a lawyer based on that craptacular display of writing. He does not seem to back up any of his arguments with things a lawyer usually includes in a law article such as citations, jurisprudence, and you know, actual evidence.
I guess law school + blog = expert
Oh praise ...whatever! (Score:2, Funny)
I guess I'm too stupid to use GPL software.
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:5, Funny)
I'll start a feature called "You are not a techie."
My first entry? Make sure your webserver/webhost is up to snuff before letting /. loose on it.
Re:Reasonable Doubt. (Score:5, Funny)
At least people expect the cops to break down your door in the U.S. Nobody expects the...
Oh, forget it.
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:5, Funny)
Years ago I saw a US Air Force training document refer to "Ohm's Three Laws". :P
V=IR, I=V/R, and R=V/I.
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:5, Funny)
(2) Academic lawyers generally have a slanted view on the world
As opposed to ACs?
Well, at least if you are not a lawyer . . . (Score:3, Funny)
. . . you won't be among the first against the wall when The Revolution comes.
Hard skills, like hacking Perl scripts to keep The Leader supplied with porn, will trump soft skills, like litigating about microwaving poodles.
Beware . . . it IS coming . . .
I'm not? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Legal standards of search and seizure (Score:4, Funny)
I never got in trouble as a kid. but then I was aware of my location and had a scanner in my pocket with a earphone in all the time.
Wow. Just seriously paranoid, or did you commit lots of crimes?
Re:LEARN (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, people do have to use an ounce of cation online.
I prefer to use an ounce of anion, but I guess I'm just a negative kind of guy.
Re:Pfft, lawyers (Score:4, Funny)
Problem is IT guys are whores. we give up our craft for free at the drop of a hat.
Whores don't give anything away for free. Sluts do.
Techies are sluts. Lawyers are whores. Personally I prefer sluts to whores, but YMMV.
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:IPBIC* (Score:5, Funny)
That doesn't make any sense.
Re:Legal standards of search and seizure (Score:5, Funny)
Encrypt everything, hide everything, obfuscate everything, always assume that THEY are out to get you. Keep your bags packed at an alternate (undisclosed) location, keep some cash hidden and have an extra passport ready (always lose the first one they send you) in case they confiscate your first. Always pay cash, wear a broad brimmed hat and large dark glasses in public, grow a beard (you can quickly change you appearance by shaving). Use anonymous pay as you go cellphones or be careful what you say over the phone, keep your phone turned off and the battery removed.
Remember it ain't paranoia if they really are out to get you!
Re:Legal standards of search and seizure (Score:5, Funny)
Friends that got nailed a LOT and watched their pain. Also I had a brother that got nailed and was ground up through the system.
when you see it happen and pay attention, you know what happens and what to do to stay away from it. I also was a big protester in college.. I was never arrested because I would not be stupid and dress like the others protesting. I always looked like a innocent bystander on purpose..
Once when asked by a cop why I was holding a sign I said, "some cute chick over there gave it to me, I dont want to drop it and litter" He took the sign as a favor to me.
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:2, Funny)
You think that's bad - My parents are worse.
I mean, with the last name Coward, who in the hell names their kid Anonymous?!?
Re:Wow! Who ever would have guessed that!? (Score:5, Funny)
Never mind your fucking Venn diagrams.
!?
*squints his eyes*
You just made a powerful enemy.
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:5, Funny)
A couple of considerations...
Here is one more:
(4) If you are not in the US, US law does not apply.
Re:Totally off topic now but what the hell (Score:5, Funny)
XKCD (Score:5, Funny)
As always, XKCD has already covered this [xkcd.com]. ;)
Re:Wow! Who ever would have guessed that!? (Score:4, Funny)
PROTIP: Memorizing Latin phrases doesn't actually mean you didn't manage to completely miss the point of the post by quoting the example of his point, then reiterating the point he was trying to make.
Re:You fell victim to one of the classic blunders (Score:3, Funny)
Hans's plan:
1) Kill wife
2) Hide body where cops can't find it
3) Throw up smokescreen in court
4) Don't testify at trial in such a way that makes me look like a murdering loon.
You'd have thought 1, 2 and 3 were the hard ones, but sometimes the simplest things trip you up...
Re:XKCD (Score:3, Funny)
It's a really big wrench
Other series for geeks (Score:3, Funny)
1) "You are not an economist"
2) "You are not a political scientist or expert in public choice theory"
3) "You are not a businessperson"
4) "You are not a pick-up artist"
Re:Ohm's Law? (Score:4, Funny)
But what about Ohm's Fourth Law, V/IR=1?