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Right up their asses!

You are fined two credits for violations of the Verbal Morality Statute.

Well? What is it? You need to define profanity before you can outlaw it.

Frankly I find skinny good looking women who wear too much clothing to be vulgar. I find the number three pronounced as free offensive. I think puppies are indecent

However, I find skinny good looking women who wear next to no clothing - acceptable.

I checked the calendar and today is definitely not April 1st, so somewhere this story must ultimately lead back to an Onion.

No need to repeat the fucking language or using any shells. You can use the law to wipe your ass instead.

The one article where the trolls and flamebait would be on-topic and you go and post a reasonable FP!

Slashdotters are courageously rebelling against this law by using a lot of swearwords.

Thanks Slashdot, the worlds takes nerds more seriously right now.

Personally, I hope to all that is holy that this law is passed, if only for its sheer comedic value.

The scene is right out of some zany kids' movie:

It is a dark and stormy night. The heroic legislators have finally passed a law outlawing all profanity! These heroes came up with a list of the specific words that will never again be used; but, of course, they had to write those words into the text of the law.

The vote passes unanimously. Society is saved! Never again will awful words be spoken! But wait... there is one source of those dirty words still! The law itself is now illegal, because it contains instances of those awful terrible swear words. Black-helmeted police commandos enter the legislature and arrest the legislators who wrote the law in the first place. After all, they printed that illegal profanity.

During the trial, the lawyers are arrested for saying the dirty words that the legislators wrote; the judge is removed from office for violating that law as well. Paralegals everywhere are arrested for preparing legal briefs that contain the dirty words those legislators wrote, and police themselves are arrested for repeating the reason the legislators were arrested in the first place. Newspapers are shut down for "making available" the text of the offending law.

I'll be sitting far, far away, watching the fireworks.

Using only the words found in the Bible:

Shut the hell up, you damn ass whore!

-Bart Simpson

Reminds me of this: http://www.bash.org/?178890 [bash.org]

That's representative democracy for you!

If you outlaw profanity, only outlaws will have profanity.

As my five-year-old son used to say when he was experimenting with profanity but hadn't gotten the hang of it yet, "Oh, for heaven's fuck."

I thought that my legislators were 'World Class' crazy (Utah).

It looks like we aren't even playing in the big leagues.

This level of crazy is a delicate balancing act. You have to be dumb enough to think that this is a good idea, but somehow manage to keep from drowning in the shower.

Is there any way to tell if the responsible parties have indoor plumbing? How do they avoid rain?

Miles

That is, for the lack of a better description, a fucking good joke!

Creationism was already taken.

There are still many ways states can distinguish themselves, though. Try re-legalizing slavery. Have a governor declare himself the State Duke for life. Totally outlaw alcohol. Declare pi to be 3.0. Require residents to quarter soldiers.

Depends on your translation/edition. So, it could be:

Shut the purgatory up, you condemned donkey harlot!

Still a strong statement of course...

a felony punishable by a fine up to $5000 or up to 5 years in prison

Who the fuck thought that shit was a reasonable punishment for such a minor fucking transgression? Lemme get this fucking straight -- you can drive 100 miles an hour down the god damn freeway, potentially putting fucking lives at risk, and probably get off with no more than a few days in jail, at worst, but if you fucking swear in the process, you're looking at five fucking years?

What the fuck?

It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

Well, at least they had the foresight to clearly define a standard for determining what is and isn't profanity. And clearly outlined the ways in which this wouldn't constitute a violation of the first amendment.</sarcasm>

Wait - it's MUCH worse than that:

"...publishes orally or in writing, exhibits, or otherwise makes available anything obscene to any a group or individual;" ...so exhibiting anything obscene to any individual...is illegal? Doesn't that mean that I can't get naked with my g/f?

Ironically, it will be legal to say that in secessionville. Doesn't sound so stupid now does it?

Hey guys, let's completely ignore the discussion and talk about my pet issue instead!

God wrote the Bible in King James, it's the only "real" Bible. The Jews just got an early copy.

Seriously I call dibbs on www.fuck-south-carolina.com

Yes, that's right, ALL of the worlds... Bow the motherfuck down, bitch!

Attention South Carolina Librarians:

In re "Section 16-15-370. (A) It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

Please remove the following material with Dewey Decimal numbers; 000-100, 100-200, 200-300, 400-500 ...

Hmmm. Maybe this would be easier if we said what could stay...

OK, 801-805 are OK ....

Well, there is that one, and that one... Never mind.

Hmmm....

Oh, GOOD, number 623.43 is definitely OK ... well, it would be if you ripped out page 46... and 58... and probably 124...

(aside) Look, just find something, OK, ya sure?

All right, number 234.98 is absolutely OK if you ignore chapter 12... and 43...

Fuck it. Shit, just torch the damn place...

Well, since you've already broken statute 16-15-250 [scstatehouse.gov], and are now subject to fines and up to three years of imprisonment, I'd suggest you stay home.

Oh, and Jesus loves you.

Hey, not all religion is bad. As a devout frisbeetarianist, let me be the first to say:

Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits.

In South Carolina? Everybody?

John Stewart said something on the Daily Show about certain States in our country that should be required to where a helmet at all times.

Everything is lewd.

With apologies to Tom Lehrer.

And you can't define them in the law, because to do so would be made illegal by the very law banning them.

Oh recursion, how we love thee. I never thought I'd use it to defend my first amendment rights (not that swearing has anything to do with Free Speech, strictly speaking), but there you go.

I'm confused as to which word "ass" is attached to. Am I...

a) an "ass whore", implying that I prostitute my ass?

or...

b) a whore with a damned ass?

Please, for the love of damn ass whores everywhere, be more fucking specific.

Coming from California myself, it's hard to imagine a place that doesn't already have a gay bar.

Sounds like you all need to go out and buy the latest copy of the Profanisaurus [amazon.com], subtitled "The Magna Farta". This is the "World's Sweariest Dictionary" compiled by Viz magazine [viz.co.uk] with over 10,000 rude words and phrases.

Should give you plenty of new phrases to use in your protest letters - many of which will not be understood by those in power unless they too resort to looking them up!

Plus this is one of those books which is guaranteed to make you laugh out loud - much like this new law.

guy is wearing jacket in the county courthouse (but not in the courtrooms) which reads "fuck the draft." Is convicted for disturbing the peace

Oh the irony...

What are you talking about?

It is a snack.....