Replacing Metal Detectors With Brain Scans 327
Zordak writes "CNN has up a story about several Israeli firms that want to replace metal detectors at airports with biometric readings. For example, with funding from TSA and DHS, 'WeCU ([creepily] pronounced "We See You") Technologies, employs a combination of infra-red technology, remote sensors and imagers, and flashing of subliminal images, such as a photo of Osama bin Laden. Developers say the combination of these technologies can detect a person's reaction to certain stimuli by reading body temperature, heart rate and respiration — signals a terrorist unwittingly emits before he plans to commit an attack.' Sensors may be embedded in the carpet, seats, and check-in screens. The stated goal is to read a passenger's 'intention' in a manner that is 'more fair, more effective and less expensive' than traditional profiling. But not to worry! WeCU's CEO says, 'We don't want you to feel that you are being interrogated.' And you may get through security in 20 to 30 seconds."
You're in a desert walking along in the sand... (Score:4, Funny)
Can it also detect replicants?
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
The article states: (Score:5, Funny)
Well, no. Not unless you start putting Ninjas on every plane. Everyone knows that Ninjas > Kung Fu fighting.
Apparently, Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting...
tl;dr WTF?
Everyone would fail. (Score:5, Funny)
At some point, people will get so pissed off at getting poked, prodded, searched, scanned, monitored and tracked to see if they are terrorists, that they will wind up deciding that it is actually easier to become terrorists themselves.
Re:Control (Score:5, Funny)
as they're the only ones not worried about arriving at their destination late
But what if they are late arriving in paradise and someone else gets the virgins?
Re:Control (Score:5, Funny)
But what if they are late arriving in paradise and someone else gets the virgins?
I'm sure they've got that covered as part of the normal course of things. After all, the afterlife is the one place where everyone arrives late.
*ba-dum pssssh*
Re:Control (Score:1, Funny)
as they're the only ones not worried about arriving at their destination late
But what if they are late arriving in paradise and someone else gets the virgins?
Sloppy seconds?
and any one how shows any smarts does not get the (Score:3, Funny)
and any one how shows any smarts does not get the job.
Re:Control (Score:3, Funny)
And they STAY virgins!
Wouldn't it be ironic if they actually were virgins? "Your going to put WHAT in WHERE?", "Ouch! Ow! Ouch! Stop it! That hurts!" Hardly my idea of a good time ;)
Re:Testing (Score:4, Funny)
Where do I sign up?
Follow the guys in fancy black suits and shades to the white unmarked van? Sure!
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:5, Funny)
It's an israeli company. They'll probably just calibrate it with everyone who passes through their borders. Everyone would get grouped in to two categories. Israeli or Terrorist.
Re:Somethings wrong... (Score:3, Funny)
What about someone who is carrying a weapon without their knowledge? That won't show up on the scans.
No problem. All they have to do is ask each passenger if they packed their own bags and if they have been out of their possession at any time. If they lie, WeCU will detect it!
Re:Somethings wrong... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Control (Score:1, Funny)
no worries, there are enough slashdotters for everyone!
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:5, Funny)
Yet another worthless security measure being sold to worthless security organizations.
Let's capitalize on that. We could go into the buisness of selling "anti-terrorism rocks" to the government and airports. I'll get the rocks, you sell it to the security orgs.
Re:Somethings wrong... (Score:3, Funny)
Let's not even start about false positives....
TSA Agent: Sir, please step aside for more screening.
Nervous Traveler: What seems to be the problem?
TSA Agent: You set off our Spazz Detect 1000 by your nervous behavior.
Nervous Traveler: Oh, that. Well, uh this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but you see I'm flying home to my wife and it seems I misplaced my wedding ring. Really.
TSA Agent: Uh-huh. Well, sir, we'd be more than glad to help you look for it. *snaps on rubber glove*
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:1, Funny)
Guess I'll be driving for the foreseeable future. It's not all bad though -- you get to control the music selection and don't have to put up with shitty food and horrible customer service ;)
You obviously haven't been on a road trip with my wife.
Re:Heh (Score:4, Funny)
I can see it now...someone hacks the system and substitutes subliminal porn images for the bin Laden pictures. Talk about provoking a physiological reaction...
Sir, is that an AK-47 in your pocket?
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:1, Funny)
until, of course, a non-marshal gets a hold of one of those guns...
Let's give every passenger a gun with only one bullet in it. Not enough to take over the plane or go on a killing rampage but it sure would be a deterrent to any would-be terrorist ;)
What could possibly go wrong?
Recruiting Ninjas is starting a never ending cycle (Score:3, Funny)
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:3, Funny)
Or, there could be subliminal/sub-aural phrases such as "The Bush", instead of "Bush"...
It would be funny if someone could hack the systems and generate lots of erections and pre-coital drainage in the waiting area... It would be... bemoaned, as it ... could.. become...the wading area...
The men's area could be called... "Area 5.1" (shorter for Area 51, for the obvious dimension."
The VIP lounge could be called "The SHAPE of Things to COME"....
Could give a whole new meaning to "The Day they Earth Stood... STEEL"...
Bumb-sniffing dogs could be "hot on the trail"...
I guess if everyone got besides themselves (and into others), everyone would qualify -- INstantly -- for a.. bum wrap... after hearing:
FREEZE: Hands in the air! Face the Mound!
and face even WORSE problems when in the interrogation rooms of airports, being asked questions such as:
"How many people are you traversing with? You sat in seat 15-A, next to Mr. X.B. We KNOW you are connected. Tell us, what is the size of her penis? What do you like to smoke?
Flying could become a ... hair-rowing ex-spear-e-ince...
Re:Recruiting Ninjas is starting a never ending cy (Score:5, Funny)
Snakes?
Re:Testing (Score:5, Funny)
Well thats one virgin, 79 to go.
Any more volunteers?
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:3, Funny)
After all, it's not like you'd look in your carryon half-way through the flight, find a gun you didn't expect there, and go "OMG! Got to hijack the plane!" ...unless someone asked you to, starting the sentence with "Would you kindly..."
Re:cuz nobody has EVER been able to fool that (Score:5, Funny)
Everyone would get grouped in to two categories. Israeli or Terrorist.
Right. Like when you go through Israeli passport control, and they ask
"Why are you here, business or pleasure?"
"Business"
"Occupation?"
"No, just a two day meeting."