IBM's But-I-Only-Got-The-Soup Patent 267
theodp writes "In an Onion-worthy move, the USPTO has decided that IBM inventors deserve a patent for splitting a restaurant bill. Ending an 8+ year battle with the USPTO, self-anointed patent system savior IBM got a less-than-impressed USPTO Examiner's final rejection overruled in June and snagged US Patent No. 7,457,767 Tuesday for its Pay at the Table System. From the patent: 'Though US Pat. No. 5,933,812 to Meyer, et al. discussed previously provides for an entire table of patrons to pay the total bill using a credit card, including the gratuity, it does not provide an ability for the check to be split among the various patrons, and for those individual patrons to then pay their desired portion of the bill. This deficiency is addressed by the present invention.'"
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
For everything else, there's the patent office (Score:2, Funny)
Ha! Fork it over, buddy! (Score:3, Funny)
FTL travel (Score:5, Funny)
Bistromathics (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Actually that's not a bad idea (Score:5, Funny)
But the question is: Should it be patentable?
We live in a world filled of porn now, there threesomes have become much more acceptable. Just think about how it would had been if you had to pay a license fee each and every time you joined up in a threesome. Yeah, that's right, for a grand total amount of $0. Totally unacceptable.
Re:Actually that's not a bad idea (Score:2, Funny)
There really isn't a convenient way to split a check and allow the parties to all still pay with a credit card (at least not in any of the restaurants I've ever been too).
Really? Because we usually just give the waitress a pile of credit cards and ask her to split it. I don't know what kind of quantum alchemy takes place at the register, but she usually returns a few moments later with a fist full of pens and a smile.
Re:Whew... (Score:2, Funny)
Microsoft patented it in 1997.
Re:Prior art (Score:3, Funny)
No need to be redundant - you already said you used Python.
A valuable intellectual contribution (Score:3, Funny)
A guaranteed way of evenly splitting a Restaurant Bill (note: the patent may have even wider applicability !) will help ensure that restaurant patrons will not, in these economically troubled times, be driven to ramp down their much-needed demand for the professional hospitality industry due to irrational and unjustified fears over how to divide the bill. Its importance cannot be overestimated and forms the basis for the continued economic viability of a branch of industry with a rich history which America can rightly be proud of.
In principle IBM would be within its rights to take the view that restaurants are responsible for unlicensed use of this invention on their premises and to demand a license fee for this invention from each and every restaurant on US soil. As an added benefit, after obtaining a license, restaurants would be empowered to apportion the fees payable for the use of IBM's Invention for apportioning restaurant bills by their clientele, to their clientele using IBM's patented invention.
In addition IBM would be in a position to institute RIAA-like proceedings against any restaurant that fails to promptly obtain a proper license for IBM's ground-breaking technology. Failure to properly license this technology would raise the gravest questions about the good-faith intentions of these establishments. I am certain we can all agree that unlicensed use of this intellectual property is Theft, and should be met with a zero-tolerance policy.
However, I urge IBM not to do this. On the contrary, I firmly believe that it is IBM's patriotic duty to make this patent available for general use for all restaurant bills that are generated by patrons who meet to discuss Open Source issues on the premises and who are prepared to publish their Restaurant Bills in the public domain under the GPL license.
I trust that IBM, given its commitment to the use of Open Source world-wide, will assume its responsibility in this matter and allow individual restaurants to refrain from charging license fees for the use of this Invention if they are satisfied that the issues discussed on their premises consist for at least 75% of the time of Open Source topics. Restaurants are in a position to verify this through the simple expedient of having their waiters listen in to conversations where those waiters currently do not record such proceedings. Following precedents set in the telecommunications industry, it is clear that it is only fair and reasonable to require Restaurants to keep logs of topics discussed and the time allotted to each topic.
Restaurants who are in compliance with this monitoring scheme should then be allowed to pro-actively deduct the fees payable from the annual licensing plan.
In order to ensure fair dealing, Restaurants would of course agree to accommodate un-announced spot-checks on the topic of conversation of patrons of their establishments, either in person by designated IBM personnel, or remotely through audio-pickups to be installed at every table.
Re:Actually that's not a bad idea (Score:4, Funny)
So, what you're saying is that there are a lot of POS POS systems out there?
Cost-cutting measure (Score:3, Funny)
No no, this is really a cost-cutting measure!
From now on, IBMers can legally get their guests to pay for their food ("royalty fee", capice?). Better watch out if an IBMer invites you to dinner!
Re:NO IT'S NOT!!!! Damn... (Score:5, Funny)
private decimal IBMPatentValue()
{
Patent newPatent;
foreach (Patent oldPatent in PatentOffice.Patents)
{
newPatent = oldPatent.Clone();
newPatent.Text += " with a computer.";
newPatent.Submit();
}
return decimal.MaxValue;
}
Re:A valuable intellectual contribution (Score:3, Funny)
It's not a patent on splitting checks.
Re:NO IT'S NOT!!!! Damn... (Score:2, Funny)
I'd rather cook at home than eat those pre-made, frozen, Cisco prepared meals.
That would be Sysco [wikipedia.org].
I don't think anyone, not even people on Slashdot, would eat premade, frozen routers.