A Linux-Based "Breath Test" For Porn On PCs 345
Gwaihir the Windlord writes "A university in Western Australia has started beta testing a tool that's described as 'a random breath test' to scan computers for illicit images. According to this article it's a clean bootable Linux environment. Since it doesn't write to the hard drive, the evidence is acceptable in court, at least in Australia. They're also working on versions to search for financial documents in fraud squad cases, or to search for terrorist keywords. Other than skimming off the dumb ones, does anyone really expect this to make a difference?" The article offers no details on what means the software uses to identify suspicious files.
Here's how it works... (Score:5, Funny)
It looks for files like "guyongirlonsheep37.jpg"
Quick! Whats the... (Score:5, Funny)
Quick! Whats the RGB color value for "pink" ?
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:5, Funny)
It looks for files like "guyongirlonsheep37.jpg"
Then I'll be safe since I rename all my files as "Top Secret: Hot Japanese Satellite images".
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:5, Funny)
Now everybody in Australia is guilty until proven innocent!
I thought that was the founding principle of Australia :)
misread the title (Score:2, Funny)
as breast test... would've been more appropriate, too.
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:5, Funny)
For kiddie porn you want to scan for small swaths.
Re:A porn breath test? (Score:5, Funny)
<cheesysoundtrack>
*WEEW*
"License and registration please...are you drunk ma'm?"
"No Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not god"
"Step out of the car please. I'm giving you a breathalyzer test. I need you to blow on this"
"Wait...wut...come on I just want to go home"
"Well if you don't want to do the breathalyzer I can give you a balance and mental aptitude test..."
"Come on just cut me a break, I live just down the road, outside of these dark woods on this lonely country road"
"Well OK, but if you want me to skip the breathalyzer, I need you to blow on _this_"
</horribleacting>
</cheesysoundtrack>
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:5, Funny)
The specific command:
#find / -name \*.jpg
Re:Illicit? (Score:1, Funny)
Last time I checked, porn was not illegal.
Can you imagine if it were made illegal? Technological breakthroughs in Internet speed and design will come to a standstill after that. What's the point of 100MB wifi-everywhere if you can't stream HD porn?
(Anti-porn group)"The Internet has porn on it! Won't someone think of the children?!?"
Fuck that, won't someone think of the Network Designers?!? We need jobs too!"
2009! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:5, Funny)
Remember, we were selected by the best judges in England...
The difference between the USA and Australia - first, England rounded up all of it's religious fanatics, and sent them to the American colonies, then they rounded up all of these criminals, and send those to the Australian colonies....
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:5, Funny)
In other words, it's not funny when you explain it, but thanks!
(Notes to subsequent posters: a formulaic representation where the function of the humorous statement is subsequently undermined by the explanation and proved untrue (or similar), while funny, would have taken a bit more time than today's actual work-a-day requirements would allow. I would however be pleased to enjoy another's attempts to compile such an argument.)
Disclaimer: This message is intended as humor and not flamebait, contrary to the anonymity assumed during the posting of said message. Furthermore, contrary to what is stated above, this post is the opinion and property of Slashdot. (Just kidding on that last part.)
-HH
leaked source code (Score:4, Funny)
#include
#include
int main()
{
printf("Searching for stuff the user isn't supposed to have...\n");
sleep(30);
printf("Illegal material found! Seize computer and arrest owner!\n");
return 0;
}
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:4, Funny)
I think you missed the point [memeparty.com].
Comment removed (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:5, Funny)
Australia rounded up its worst criminals and sent them there...
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:3, Funny)
The mentally deficient, ruthless, and inbred of course remained safely at home (and in noble circles, more often than not).
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:5, Funny)
Well technically, I think we've all been IN one at least once in our lives, females included. However I suspect that's not the point you were going for.
Based on this I propose the following test... (Score:5, Funny)
The difference between the USA and Australia - first, England rounded up all of it's religious fanatics, and sent them to the American colonies, then they rounded up all of these criminals, and send those to the Australian colonies....
In those grand traditions I propose the following test...
Turn the laptop on, tie a large weight to it. If it floats, it's a witch! Burn it! If it sinks it's innocent. Pity it didn't survive.
Re:A porn breath test? (Score:5, Funny)
Your post contains invalid markup: you can't interleave tags like that.
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe it works by checking the percentage of flesh-tone colors in the picture. That means those racy pictures of blue-man-group are safe for now.
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:My least favourite quote from TFA: (Score:3, Funny)
Breath Test (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Any Aussies here? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:4, Funny)
guyongirlonsheep37.jpg would probably be OK. I wouldn't want to try to explain guyongirlonsheep17.jpg however ...
By an incredible coincidence, that happens to be the only username left untaken on yahoo! mail. I keep trying variations on my name and all I get is "That name is taken. May we suggest "guyongirlonsheep17.jpg@yahoo.com".
But I wish I hadn't told you my new email address. Now I'm going to get spam.
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:5, Funny)
The big question is -- can this program tell the difference between a porn photo and a photo of Fidel Castro eating a banana?
You just solved the CAPTCHA problem.
Re:Randoms searches, Yay. (Score:4, Funny)
Remember, we were selected by the best judges in England...
The difference between the USA and Australia - first, England rounded up all of it's religious fanatics, and sent them to the American colonies, then they rounded up all of these criminals, and send those to the Australian colonies....
So where did they send the dentists?
<ducks>
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:3, Funny)
Well, that and Orlando, FL.
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:5, Funny)
...oh, and your mom.
(Sorry, had to)
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:5, Funny)
Fixed that for you. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:4, Funny)
Now you will get a ton of Ubuntu backgrounds....
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:2, Funny)
There's 30 of them.
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Quick! Whats the... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Here's how it works... (Score:2, Funny)