Hans Reiser Gets Sentence of 15-To-Life 553
mallumax writes "Hans Reiser was today handed a prison sentence of 15-to-life for murdering his wife. Earlier this year, he pleaded guilty and led police to his wife's body. His jury trial concluded in April with Reiser's first-degree murder conviction. That carries a 25-to-life term, but the authorities, in a backroom deal, later offered him 15-to-life if he produced his wife's body and waived any rights to appeal his conviction."
Several other readers contributed coverage at SFGate.
I think he got a pretty good deal out of it (Score:5, Funny)
99 to Life (Score:2, Funny)
To bad it wasn't 99 to life. Could have played some kick-ass Social Distortion in honor of the sentence.
Re:Fuck You, Hans Reiser (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
But, then again, I'm not a mathematician...
...but I did watch a lot of Matlock when I was younger.
Re:So he was rewarded for hiding her body? (Score:1, Funny)
It's not over until he sells the rights to Lifetime and they make a movie about him always being a crazed killer, Nina being a wonderful wife but weak and easy to victimize, and Nina's ex-boyfriend as a loving, caring, but completely ineffectual man who gets framed for the murder.
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:1, Funny)
Are you sure of that?
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
Or statistics...
Well... (Score:2, Funny)
At least he'll have a lot of time to work on Reiser FS v5. :D
Re:My experince with the law (Score:1, Funny)
A few hours later my mom picks me up and says "you're moving with your aunti and uncle in bel air" I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, And I yelled to the cabby "yo home, smell ya later!". Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
That was a weak attempt at a Bel-Air. You sir, FAIL! No internets for you!
Re:He should have gotten the chair (Score:3, Funny)
He should have gotten the chair.
i know just the man [microsoft.com]
Re:He should have gotten the chair (Score:2, Funny)
Why don't we pick more philosophically neutral terminology, like, "murdering ... is destructive" or "murdering ... is wasteful?" Those are words that everyone can understand. "EVIL," on the other hand, is a subjective idea that lacks a commonly-held operational definition.
Yes lets save the word 'evil' for things that everyone can understand... like DRM and Microsoft. Evil!!!
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
By my calculations, it ceases to be "reasonable doubt" and veers off into "complete mathematical certainty" when they use phrases like "Reiser's chilling confession," and "led authorities to [the body]".
Those do raise a good deal of suspicion, but what convinced me in this case was: "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dog!"
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
I haven't laughed so hard in a while. Do you realize, kind sir, that you are asking slashdot to basically pack up and go on vacation?
Objectivity. Distinction between conviction and sentence judgements. People more knowledgable than us. Discarding of mathematical certainty.
Well, I forgive you: it is Friday night, you'll see you error tomorrow morning..
Re:So he was rewarded for hiding her body? (Score:5, Funny)
Your post seems to have been of some of its words.
Re:I think he got a pretty good deal out of it (Score:2, Funny)
And don't forget, 15 years won't seem so long now he's no longer married.
Re:Finally the End (Score:5, Funny)
Way to be emo about it.
We DID get a lot of material for some great jokes.
Life goes on, man.
Why fuck him, anyway? (Score:1, Funny)
I'm still using Reiser3 on this machine, in fact. Though I gather the poor guy hasn't contributed much code lately...
Re:Finally the End (Score:1, Funny)
False, Prison Inc. Wins
Re:Fuck You, Hans Reiser (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Fuck You, Hans Reiser (Score:4, Funny)
He's not your typical week noodly nerd. Six+ feet tall, good physical condition, judo black belt, and knows how to choke a bitch out.
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:2, Funny)
...but I did watch a lot of Matlock when I was younger.
Columbo could kick Matlock's ass in a playground brawl.
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
Oh yeah? Prove it!
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:2, Funny)
It is also possible that space aliens kidnapped her and killed her and that after the trial, while Hans was sitting in his cell, an alien beamed into his cell and told him where she was buried.
Or perhaps he had nothing to do with the murder and he just made a guess about where the body might be buried, figuring that he had nothing to lose if that was not the correct location and that there was a non-zero probability of guessing the correct location.
Linux: It's making a KILLING (Score:0, Funny)
Linux: It's making a KILLING
Linux: It's to DIE for
Linux: When the going gets tough, the tough get Linux, and REDRUM ensues
Linux: When you know your wife is cheating, KILL her, cut her up into little pieces, then claim INSANTITY, for you must be so to use Linux, the MURDERING kind of OS
Linux: Honest detective, she wanted me to sacrifice her to our lord and savior, the chopping up into little pieces was only so our lord, Jesus "RMS" Christ, could eat her more readily
Linux: When you need an excuse for chopping your wife into little pieces
Linux: Because you are a crazy motherfucker, and you know it
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
Shit, he's on to us.
Re:Fuck You, Hans Reiser (Score:3, Funny)
Now let's hope some fellow inmate does what needs to be done, and puts an end to this vile piece of garbage.
You mean take Reiserfs out of the kernel?
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
Let's start by assuming the opposite...
Re:Terms of his imprisonment... (Score:1, Funny)
He couldn't keep a bussiness when NOT in jail...
It's not a complete mathematical certainty (Score:5, Funny)
complete mathematical certainty?
1. Someone framed him then told him about the location of the body. (Aliens, Dick Cheney, etc)
2. Hans is actually a genius, he built an interdimensional gateway like in Sliders and his evil otherself killed his wife. Consumed with guilt he decided to confess because it was easier than explaining the interdimensional gateway.
3. He was drugged by the CIA to do it as a way to silence him. Now any secrets he tries to reveal will not be taken seriously.
4. Hans's wife was actually an alien spy here to help start the invasion process. If the other alien spys find out what Hans knows then the invasion cannot be stopped.
5. Mass hallucination. Hans didn't kill his wife and he never confessed.
6. Dick Cheney did it during a hunting accident
7. Hans' car is intelligent like Herbie, but in a fit of jealous rage his car kills Hans' wife. To protect his friend, a car, from dissection, he tries to cover up the murder and ends up getting caught.
8. Nina was an android that Hans built, therefor no murder was committed
9. It was a suicide pact and Hans backed out. Consumed with guilt and shame he confesses to murder rather than admit the truth.
10. There is no Hans Reiser
(by no means does this post mean I condone murdering spouse, family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, stranges you talk to at the check-out, or aliens that later turn out to be people due to hallucinations)
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:3, Funny)
I honestly don't know how anyone could think he's realistically innocent.
You must be new around here. Earth, I mean.
Re:Linux: It's making a KILLING (Score:1, Funny)
Death to all who oppose linux !
Re:Fuck You, Hans Reiser (Score:3, Funny)
2000 years - a Florida law requiring every fit man in the state to do 6 days unpaid labour on the roads per year, (though being clearly against the 14 amendment), was upheld by a court because the Romans expected people to work on the roads for free, so it was ok for them to do the same 2000 years later.
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:5, Funny)
Oh I dunno - between having his geek parents name him after a file system, then being set up for the murder of his wife ... this poor fucker just can't seek to catch a break.
Re:Wow (Score:3, Funny)
Descriptions of Hans pretty much match a narcissist [winning-teams.com] and they are masters at maintaining a good public image while horribly and remorselessly abusing everyone around them. It's easy to set one off into a narcissistic rage, frequently you wouldn't even know what it was. They don't think they have to follow the same rules as everyone else, their contribution is always more valuable than any repayment could ever be worth and they are pathological liars.
Nina implied that his son was defective and by extension he was, and that she was spend some of "His" money to take him to the DR for treatment and she died for her audacity!
Re:Try to be objective, everybody. (Score:1, Funny)
How do you know that those people didn't actually have sex with the devil?